He drives me Crazy!!!! (baby, spanking, parent, son)

[redwine]

My adorable 2year old is driving me nuts! He will not listen to me when it is time for bed. He will not lay down to sleep without me laying nest to him. I can lay there for 2 hours before he finally goes to sleep. It is so frustrating. If I leave the room he will follow me. He don't think I am serious. I don't like to punish my child like spanking but I have done it out of pure frustration. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice


PS
If daddy is telling him to go to sleep he goes to bed and lay there until he is sleeping.

Whats wrong with me?

[vergla]

some of this sounds like hes testing you to see how far he can get childern will do that my youngest daughtler did that topo when she was younger she finelly grew out of that too.

[redwine]

Originally Posted by vergla

some of this sounds like hes testing you to see how far he can get childern will do that my youngest daughtler did that topo when she was younger she finelly grew out of that too.

I will probably
be insane by then

[kaykay]

That age is adorable and precious, but often very exasperating too! They don't call it the "terrible twos" for nothing! I would recommend you read a couple of James Dobson's books on parent such as The Strong Willed Child or Dare to Discipline. I found them helpful when our son was growing up.

[ELOrocks17]

2 words---baby gate

[TouchOfWhimsy]

I had this issue with my daughter as well right around when she turned 2. I subscribed to the "this too shall pass" theory and it eventually passed. In the meantime, there was a lot of laying with her and returning her to her bed, etc.

We moved recently, and she went through it again a few months ago, at the age of 5. I ended up doing the "supernanny" thing of returning her to her bed over and over, and that worked fairly quickly (less than a week) to get her back into her routine of just laying down and going to sleep! If your son is a young 2, then maybe he's too young for that, but if he's closer to 3, it might be worth a try.

Remember that this too shall pass!

[drjones96]

Originally Posted by ELOrocks17

2 words---baby gate

We actually put one of those door knob things on the inside of his door to his room. So basically he's locked in at bedtime. He gets the idea eventually and will settle down and lay in his bed. Sometimes he'll throw a good fit...which will wear him down. Then I'll go back in there and put him in bed and sometimes he'll stay. Before we go to bed we'll check on him to make sure he's still in bed and covered up.

[kimmieyky]

Originally Posted by redwine

My adorable 2year old is driving me nuts! He will not listen to me when it is time for bed. He will not lay down to sleep without me laying nest to him. I can lay there for 2 hours before he finally goes to sleep. It is so frustrating. If I leave the room he will follow me. He don't think I am serious. I don't like to punish my child like spanking but I have done it out of pure frustration. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice


PS
If daddy is telling him to go to sleep he goes to bed and lay there until he is sleeping.

Whats wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you - the baby just knows daddy will folow through and he can push mom's buttons.

Let me ask you - how old was he when you began to discipline him? Did you start as soon as he was old enough to reach for the plug outlets and cords? When I say discipline, I do not mean spanking, but a pop on the hand, a stern voice and redirection - without giving up whether he cried or not? This is important.

Kids learn EARLY what they can get away with and are constantly testing the waters as they discover more and more new things. If you tell them no, but don't get up and physically stop them, they will continue.

Same thing with naps. It kills me, but sometimes you have to let them cry - or at least whine and be uncomfortable for a few minutes or so in the crib. I learned the hard way with my first that picking him up every time only taught him crying would get him anything he wanted.
So we started with short intervals of crying, going in and patting his behind, reassuring him he was okay and so on. It took time, but it worked.

At two, yours has more than figured out how far he can push you. It is not too late to begin this process. It will not be easy, and will make you even nuttier for a while, but in the long run, it is best for HIM.

As far as popping him out of frustration, DON'T. You have to be calm and level headed - take a time out for yourself if you need too, but only spank if you are in control and ready to be a voice of reason.

These little ones have no idea what they are doing, are looking to you for guidance, and will only do what they are allowed to do. You can do this, but you have to get the fire in your gut to follow through.

I raised two boys, now 23 and 19, and have startd again with now 8 month old. It still breaks my heart to hear him cry, and I want to run and pick him up and let him do whatever to make him feel better - but in the long run he will suffer right along with me. If he isn't napping and he REALLY needs it, I will let him cry a few minutes, pick him up and reassure (only if patting does not work), and then it is back to the bed. We are still working on this, but he will get there.

James Dobson has a wonderful book - you can probably find it on Amazon - 'The Strong Willed Child'. I have recommended it a million times - full of wonderful loving ways to get control of your child so he will not control you.
Check it out, although I am sure you have little time to read. Tell hubby he has to watch the baby so you soak in the info.

You can do this, it is not too late - but remember - if you do not have control of your 2 year old, you will not have control of your 16 year old.

Better get on it.

Good luck. Kimmieyky

[usmcfamily]

Have you considered putting him back into the crib? I had to do that with one of mine and it did the trick. I also always tried to keep bedtime a simple routine: bath, snack, brush teeth, story, prayers, lights out! Keep it stress free, non-negotiable and hopefully sooner than later he'll get it! Mine are older. How I would love to lay down and cuddle with them again! This will pass!

[old biddie]

Originally Posted by redwine

My adorable 2year old is driving me nuts! He will not listen to me when it is time for bed. He will not lay down to sleep without me laying nest to him. I can lay there for 2 hours before he finally goes to sleep. It is so frustrating. If I leave the room he will follow me. He don't think I am serious. I don't like to punish my child like spanking but I have done it out of pure frustration. I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice


PS
If daddy is telling him to go to sleep he goes to bed and lay there until he is sleeping.

Whats wrong with me?

Has your routine with him always been that you lay down with him at night?
If so, this is what he is used to with you, and you have to undo what you have created.
Right from the beginning my son knew with me that bedtime meant staying in bed, but when his dad is with him, he has always done that laying down routine, and it is not effective because he manipulates and wakes up when dad goes out of the bed.
You are going to have to change your routine with him, it's not his fault that he is used to your routine...
Make a new routine, and stick with it, and he'll eventually catch on, and don't be afraid to let him cry. Believe me, now it's easy to change, as he gets older, it won't be.
Remember, whatever routines or habits you create, he will get used to and it's up to you to own your part and tell yourself that this was your doing and you can undo it responsibly.
Right now you are sending mixed messages because you are not changing your behavior and sticking to it.
Don't spank or punish for this, this was your responsibility right from the start and you need to learn how to teach him how to transition.
Read a book by sitting up with him, not laying down, and then give him a flashlight that he can play with, and put glowing moons and stars on the wall and ceiling.
Say the same thing as you leave the room every night. I say this as I point to the glowing moon and stars; I love you from here...to the moon...to the sun...to the stars...and to the end of the universe where no man woman or child has ever seen, heard or touched... and all the way back to you, my little angel, ten million, zillion times... Good night, sleep tight... I love you...!