Adopting Children (baby, support, parents, girl)

[brit3218]

I am a 20 year old college junior and I will be graduating the a B.S. in Business Administration with a concentration in Management and a minor in Psychology in May of 2010. Adoption is something I have always wanted to do. I don't think my family supports my decision because Adoption is not something you hear alot about in African American families. They criticize me because I think, act, and talk differently than the Stereotypical African American female. They really don't take me seriously. One night I was randomly browsing through a list of children waiting to be adopted because I was thinking about my possible future as an adoptive mother. I came across the most precious children. A five year old gir and her two year old brother. They are in foster care in Arkansas and I am originally from Memphis, TN but I attend college in Indiana. When I saw their pictures my heart broke and I literally cried for these precious children! Then on Thanksgiving morning there was a document on T.V. about a family adopting an older child. I was wondering how long should I wait to take action and adopt these two children? Am I too young? I said I was going to wait until I graduated and got a job to find those two and adopt them myself. Am I crazy for thinking about this like my family thinks I am? When I mentioned this to them they said "You sound like one of those white people" and I was soo offended! Should I even care what my family thinks about my decision to adopt some day? Any advice you could give would be great!

[Woof Woof Woof!]

You should follow your heart. If you want to adopt a child, then one day you will. But you are still young and just settling into your career. Maybe there is something you can do now to help children? Meanwhile, I think once you get a foothold in your career and settle down, you will be able to provide a much better home for your future children.

You have a wonderful, sensitive heart. Hold on to that.

[5kingsinvegas]

While I truly believe that you should follow your heart and do what you want you have to remember that any child you eventually adopt will become a part of your family. If your family has such a negative attitude towards adoption you could be bringing a child into a very difficult situation.

Additionally, while your wish to help children in need is very noble, 20 is extremely young to become a parent. Most children are put up for adoption because their birth parents want a life for their child that they can't provide. It would be much wiser to finish your education and get yourself established before becoming a parent. That way, if you still want to adopt, you will be able to provide a stable, secure enviornment for a child.

I have a little bit of personal experience with this. I come from a family of 4 adopted children, none of us were natural siblings. I will never forget one Christmas Eve when my paternal grandmother was talking with my mother and she said that we weren't "true descendants" of the family because we weren't "blood" relatives. I was probably 9 at the time and to this day I still remember.

[brit3218]

Oh thank you for the encouraging words!! I am definately going to complete my education first because that's my top priority. I love learning and I want my children to be educated as well so I want to live by example. When I graduate and get settled into a good job I will go find those two children if they are still around. But in the meantime I'm just going to be patient and trust God. I am going to see if there is a way I can send them Christmas presents.

[Woof Woof Woof!]

Originally Posted by 5kingsinvegas

While I truly believe that you should follow your heart and do what you want you have to remember that any child you eventually adopt will become a part of your family. If your family has such a negative attitude towards adoption you could be bringing a child into a very difficult situation.

She shouldn't worry too much about that!

They are probably just giving her a hard time, jokingly. No family is going to turn their nose up at a baby!

[Woof Woof Woof!]

Originally Posted by brit3218

Oh thank you for the encouraging words!! I am definately going to complete my education first because that's my top priority. I love learning and I want my children to be educated as well so I want to live by example. When I graduate and get settled into a good job I will go find those two children if they are still around. But in the meantime I'm just going to be patient and trust God. I am going to see if there is a way I can send them Christmas presents.

That's a beautiful thought. You're a special person, and you are going to be a great mommy one day!

Adopt me! Adopt me!

[brit3218]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

That's a beautiful thought. You're a special person, and you are going to be a great mommy one day!

Adopt me! Adopt me!

awwwwwwww!!!!!!

[camping!]

You are going to make a wonderful mom one day.....just not quite yet.
Adoption agencies do have age limits, and twenty is just too young. In fact, I don't know of an agency that will work with a single woman who is younger then 30.
But don't lose hope! While you might be too young to adopt the children you saw in the photo listing, call the number the agency provided and speak with one of their social workers about the little girl and her brother. While again, you may never adopt these two children (hopefully they will be adopted soon!) maybe the sw will allow you to have a big sister relationship with the little girl...or maybe you could be her sponser?
As to your family....yes, some people don't understand about adoption. Prepare yourself to be called Angelina Jolie if you happen to adopt outside your race , but by and large family members do come to accept and love the adopted child. My mom went for her best friend of 65 years jugular when her friend intimated that Asian boys weren't that attractive.
Nonetheless, you will have to be prepared to cut off ties with family members who refuse to accept your child(ren). Also, older child adoption has many joys, but you will need to be prepared to deal with some of the hardships such as the possibility of RAD.
You sound like a wonderful girl, and I have no doubt that you will do the things you set your mind to.....and you will make a wonderful mom someday!

[hml1976]

Yes, everything that camping said

My family was more confused by our decision to adopt than against it, they just didn't get it. Fast forward to present day and my mother's favorite grandchild (and the one most like her!) is my adopted daughter.

Adoption is a miracle just like giving birth and some of us are just "supposed" to adopt, I really believe that and I'm grateful every day that I chose to build my family through adoption.

Good luck!

[findinghope]

Brit
maybe while you are continuing your education, you can get into a program like "big sisters". that way you are helping a child without taking on the full responsibility of actually adopting right now.
i often have thought of it myself, and it may sound selfish, but at this point in time, i dont feel like i can bring anyone into my family. i wouldnt want the child to feel like he/she is not a perfect fit with the family--and that would just be another let down in his/her life.
i think its so wonderful that you have such a kind heart and a willingness to change these kids' lives.