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My 12 yr. old daughter is in the 6th grade and is doing very poorly in her classes. We have given her since the first day of school to get and maintain a passing grade in all her classes but now in the middle of the school year, it's the same story. My husband and I are seriously considering moving her to a private school but don't have much money and do not want to wait on a waiting list. Can anyone suggest a good school, private school or just some plain advice. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do?
Last edited by BstYet2Be; 12-08-2008 at 08:39 PM..
Reason: Moved from the San Antonio forum - perhaps the OP can get more feedback here
Do you have reason to believe her grades will improve in a private school? What about Tutoring somewhere? Have you met with her teachers to find out what the problem is? What DO YOU believe the problem is?
Well she has a "boyfriend", and her teachers say that she talks too much in class, doesn't try to do any makeup work, and when she does go to tutoring leaves after half an hour to go hang out with her friends. She doesn't take her schooling seriously and thinks it is all a joke.
Well she has a "boyfriend", and her teachers say that she talks too much in class, doesn't try to do any makeup work, and when she does go to tutoring leaves after half an hour to go hang out with her friends. She doesn't take her schooling seriously and thinks it is all a joke.
Would it be out of the question to sit outside of her tutoring session to make sure she isn't leaving? Don't try to take away her friends or "boyfriend" because that will just make her resent you and not want to work in school. This goes for changing schools too. That is, unless you feel that her friends are going to cause more trouble for her. Maybe you can talk to her about what's going on. Is there any reason why you can't set aside a couple of hours a night to make sure she is doing her homework and let her know that you are available to help her study/do work? What have you done as far as punishing her? These are just some thoughts in my head...I hope you find the peace you need! My son is only in Pre-k but he's had his own issues. I know how frustrating it is being a parent. Best of luck!
Please don't feel alone...many more of us parents than want to admit it went thru "issues" raising our kids...and the good news is if you hang in there and keep with it, they can move thru it all.
We had one of our 6 that gave us what for...we honestly wondered at times we were raising the Antichrist....
Anyway, after trying what we thought was everything, we stumbled across a program that helped us and allowed us to bring peace and sanity back into our home.
I HIGHLY personally recommend the program by James Lehman called the Total Transformation Program. He has a website, and you can order and try for 30 days free I think. We were sold on the program from the beginning...and found it well worth the money. The hard part is DOING the things he tells you to do and sticking to your guns on them...but once you see how successful they are, it becomes so much easier. We found his program sound, successful and very helpful here.
Good news is all our kids are successful adults and MUCH better off for the guidance this investment afforded us. Not to mention the peace of mind for us as parents....
Good luck...I know how difficult this time can be, but hang in there...she is so worth it.
Well she has a "boyfriend", and her teachers say that she talks too much in class, doesn't try to do any makeup work, and when she does go to tutoring leaves after half an hour to go hang out with her friends. She doesn't take her schooling seriously and thinks it is all a joke.
So if some of it is thru her actions, private school really isn't the answer. What about tutoring thru a private source and not actually at the school.....sylvan? a teacher/college student coming to your home or someone you know/trust?
I agree with the other comments...perhaps changing the discipline at home. Not sure what you have tried already but may removing all her privelages until her grades are improved. Just an idea.
You could always come to school and shadow her for a day or so. Get it approved thru the principal first. There's not a middle schooler alive who wants mom in all their classes and lunch!!!!
I have a 13yos who is getting grades below what he is capable of right now. His a$$ is SO grounded (no cell phone, no computer, no tv, no video games, no friends over or leaving the house after school, etc.). EVERY night we visit Parent Connection together and go over his notes in his planner, in addition to frequent emails to teachers. It's pretty simple, he doesn't turn in his work, he doesn't get privileges. AMAZING how that type of motivation works!!! (And he's my #5 of 7 children ~ 2 of whom are now grown and doing well in society as adults. I've got a bit of experience. Paka could tell us ALL a thing or 2! She's got 6 great kids ~ all adults!)
edit ~ Heh, Paka was postin' at the same time as me! LOL!
unless her study habits change i don't think a private school or any other school is going to help --- a child gets out of school what they put into it so if she is not putting forth the effort, well....
have you tried to do things at home --- restrict her phone time if she is talking to her "boyfriend" too much, make her do her work at the kitchen table where you can sit and work with her --- my daughter is 12 and is in the 7th grade and she is not allowed tv or computer (unless for school) during the week monday thru thursday --- if she is done with her work early on those days then she has to read or study or can go outside to play --- i also sit down with her every month or so and go thru her school binders to see her work for myself as opposed to just taking her word for it as to what her grades are...
i'm wondering why her teachers are letting her leave early during tutoring...that does not sound quite right to me...
good luck to you...i know the pre-teen years are tough...i know this is hard but at some point your daughter is going to have to take responsibility for her actions, and if that mean failing and being held back a year, well, that may be what she needs to get it thru her head that school is serious...i can't imagine that she will want to be in 6th grade forever...
did all of this behaviour just start this year, in middle school or were her elementary years just as bad???
My kids are very little,
but I remember when I was 12-13, my parents got divorced and I was pretty much on my own.
I would catch a ride to school and ride the bus back home.
Well, I flunked 8th grade and when I was gonna tell my mom I thought she was gonna cut my.... everything off.
She told me that she didn't give a d.... about it, because she has a good job, a house, a car, etc, etc.
She told me that I'm the one that decides if I want to have a good job in the future or make a living picking up cans from the street.
That completely changed me, in 9th grade I was the 2nd best student out of 30 students and 3 years ago I got my engineering degree.
My point is that there's a point when you have to give teenagers a harsh reality check and they'll realize that life is not as easy as they think it is.
Something else,
in 9th grade, I was hanging out a lot with a few kids that were studying a lot and wanted to be the best students in our class, and I think that also helped me a lot.
This is always tough. We all want out kids to fit in the mold, but the school systems just have a one size fit's all program. It just doesn't work for some kids....and some kids just don't want to work.
Having two adult children and going through our own struggles, I understand the idea of wanting to change schools. Keep in mind, private schools are, well...privately funded. There is a misconception that private schools will have the resources to help students that don't fit the mold. For the most part, they don't have the funding for special assistance teaching unless it's a school that specializes in behavioral or special ed type teaching.
Paka had some excellent resources. I'd check into that before making any drastic moves. Your daughter needs the reigns pulled in and the program that Paka referred to has an excellent reputation. But it is work....as parents you need to add your own commitment. Hang in there. Many of us have cried and struggled and thought there was no hope, and then the little buggers turn around and decide to be mature! That is 3/4's of the battle!
Last edited by wCat; 12-04-2008 at 09:17 AM..
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