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Old 12-29-2008, 12:47 PM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 4,220,952 times
Reputation: 1077

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
Who are you referring to here? Just wondering since I'm the only one who has responded to Trombley's latest post here, but I don't see why your ire should be directed at me just because I disagree with you about extended breastfeeding. Or maybe it's because I ask people to back up their statements with data when they claim professional expertise in an area? (By the way - still waiting on your citations of a law in your state [or any other] which puts an age limit on breastfeeding...)

Also, in case you haven't noticed, there are several people here who have no problem with extended breastfeeding at 6 years old, which is what this thread is about. In addition, I know many people in real life who also have no problem with it, as well as a few who have actually done it! So for you to claim that "There's nobody out there that agrees with breastfeeding children that are of school age" is completely false. These threads can go on many times longer than this, and typically do. The "Breastfeeding Older Children" thread is still kicking at 266 posts! And they could not continue to kick if there were not folks who disagree - so please refrain from saying that "nobody out there" disagrees with your position!

I am one of THEM who agrees!

It is WELL known (at least by a few on this thread) that breastfeeding is VERY benificial LONG TERM.

ADVentive's other post with all of the REAL facts to you!
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Old 12-29-2008, 01:22 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,593,756 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
However, some people become so aggressive about their own preferences, they are get waaaaaaaay too hostile w/ anyone who doesn't agree w/ THEIR choices.
I completely agree. That self-righteousness and hostility goes both ways, definitely. I had problems breastfeeding and stopped doing so after about a month with each baby. I would have liked to nurse longer, but it didn't work out for me. My sister just had her first baby in October, and she's having the same problems I did. The two of us belong to another forum, a very small one I've belonged to for about five years, and a lady I consider a good friend goes wonky on the both of us any time we mention breastfeeding or other aspects of childbirth. We didn't try hard enough, if we really cared about our babies we'd keep trying, epidurals are a mistake, vaccines are poison, having the baby at home is the only way, and so on.

I give advice and opinions when asked but for the most part, I mind my own business. (Yeah, I said breastfeeding an eight-year-old is creepy, but I really doubt that mom is doing it in public so who cares?) If women can breastfeed their kids for longer than I did, more power to them. I'm certainly not going to talk down to a woman who wants an epidural or to vaccinate her child, but I am continually astonished at the self-righteous, hysterical tone of women who think there is only one possible way to be a good mom. And that goes BOTH WAYS. Pro-vaccine moms accusing anti-vaccine moms of being ignorant and neglectful, while the anti-vaccine moms rant about how we're injecting babies with some kind of autism cocktail.
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:14 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,204,447 times
Reputation: 22751
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I completely agree. That self-righteousness and hostility goes both ways, definitely. I had problems breastfeeding and stopped doing so after about a month with each baby. I would have liked to nurse longer, but it didn't work out for me. My sister just had her first baby in October, and she's having the same problems I did. The two of us belong to another forum, a very small one I've belonged to for about five years, and a lady I consider a good friend goes wonky on the both of us any time we mention breastfeeding or other aspects of childbirth. We didn't try hard enough, if we really cared about our babies we'd keep trying, epidurals are a mistake, vaccines are poison, having the baby at home is the only way, and so on.

I give advice and opinions when asked but for the most part, I mind my own business. (Yeah, I said breastfeeding an eight-year-old is creepy, but I really doubt that mom is doing it in public so who cares?) If women can breastfeed their kids for longer than I did, more power to them. I'm certainly not going to talk down to a woman who wants an epidural or to vaccinate her child, but I am continually astonished at the self-righteous, hysterical tone of women who think there is only one possible way to be a good mom. And that goes BOTH WAYS. Pro-vaccine moms accusing anti-vaccine moms of being ignorant and neglectful, while the anti-vaccine moms rant about how we're injecting babies with some kind of autism cocktail.
I have raised my kids . . . and I was sooooo lucky. I was surrounded by other moms who were very kind and supportive to one another. Never had to deal w/ this "in your face" self-righteous stuff that I think mothers are dealing with now (especially w/ breast-feeding and vaccines issues).

I don't understand what makes women feel it is their duty to jump up everyone else's arse when people make different decisions about how they wish to have their own children raised.

One of my closest friends, who is younger than I, had her baby 6 or so years ago . . . and the lactation nurse had her in tears b/c her milk wouldn't come in and she simply could not feed her baby, who was screaming in hunger. Now, this is NOT unusual after an emergency c-section. So for days, baby howled and new momma was an emotional wreck, plus feeling like a total failure . . . When I called and found out what was going on, I told her - forget it!!! If your milk comes in later, and you can BF - fine! Until then, send DH to get the formula and FEED THAT POOR CHILD!!!!!

May I add - her little boy is one of the healthiest kids I have ever seen.

We all are just trying to get through this . . . no one is a perfect parent; no one has all the answers.

Kids grow up and they all turn out about the same, anyway. Few people have that genius kid, Hee Hee. Those precious babies turn out to be young people w/ minds of their own . . . the things we thought were soooo important, in the end, most of these things are so minor . . . Breastfeeding is a good example (so is potty training). Kids get to a certain age and autonomy and self-direction take over . . . they grow up and are gone in a flash. Once they get to be teens . . . the years go so quickly . . . I look back at the things I once agonized over as a young mom . . . so much of it really didn't even matter.
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Old 12-30-2008, 12:55 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,637,660 times
Reputation: 26860
Quote:
We all are just trying to get through this . . . no one is a perfect parent; no one has all the answers.

Kids grow up and they all turn out about the same, anyway. Few people have that genius kid, Hee Hee. Those precious babies turn out to be young people w/ minds of their own . . . the things we thought were soooo important, in the end, most of these things are so minor . . . Breastfeeding is a good example (so is potty training). Kids get to a certain age and autonomy and self-direction take over . . . they grow up and are gone in a flash. Once they get to be teens . . . the years go so quickly . . . I look back at the things I once agonized over as a young mom . . . so much of it really didn't even matter.
Someone should print this on a card and hand it out to all new parents as they're walking out of the hospital after delivering their baby.
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Old 12-30-2008, 01:16 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,204,447 times
Reputation: 22751
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
Someone should print this on a card and hand it out to all new parents as they're walking out of the hospital after delivering their baby.
Thanx, Marlow. I try to pass this message along any time I am asked for advice by new parents . . . or when I can post it on a forum, LOL. Children don't come w/ a handbook . . . a lot of things are trial and error. Conscientious parents seek the best advice they can find - but in the end - a lot of the decisions we make have to be based on that "gut feeling" that it is the right thing for our kids. What one person may see as "the answer" may not be what another parent sees as "the answer" . . . and most of all . . . kids are not stamped out w/ a cookie-cutter . . . there are commonalities . . . but they are each quite unique little individuals.

We need to spend less time castigating other parents who don't parent as we do . . . and concentrate on being flexible enuff to meet the individual needs of our children. That includes recognizing that just b/c we may have certain ideologies . . . those beliefs may not be the best thing for other families . . .
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:21 AM
 
Location: THE USA
3,257 posts, read 6,115,175 times
Reputation: 1998
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I completely agree. That self-righteousness and hostility goes both ways, definitely. I had problems breastfeeding and stopped doing so after about a month with each baby. I would have liked to nurse longer, but it didn't work out for me. My sister just had her first baby in October, and she's having the same problems I did. The two of us belong to another forum, a very small one I've belonged to for about five years, and a lady I consider a good friend goes wonky on the both of us any time we mention breastfeeding or other aspects of childbirth. We didn't try hard enough, if we really cared about our babies we'd keep trying, epidurals are a mistake, vaccines are poison, having the baby at home is the only way, and so on.

I give advice and opinions when asked but for the most part, I mind my own business. (Yeah, I said breastfeeding an eight-year-old is creepy, but I really doubt that mom is doing it in public so who cares?) If women can breastfeed their kids for longer than I did, more power to them. I'm certainly not going to talk down to a woman who wants an epidural or to vaccinate her child, but I am continually astonished at the self-righteous, hysterical tone of women who think there is only one possible way to be a good mom. And that goes BOTH WAYS. Pro-vaccine moms accusing anti-vaccine moms of being ignorant and neglectful, while the anti-vaccine moms rant about how we're injecting babies with some kind of autism cocktail.

This is because some women have intolerance for anything that is different from what THEY THEMSELVES would do. They have a delusional sense of SELF of think they made the ONLY correct decisions and there cannot be ANY OTHER correct decisions out there.

They are unable to distinguish that each child is different, each mother is different, and each family is different and they have different decisions to factor in.

Now imagine these same nazi-like women are raising children to be just like them, intolerant of others decisions that are different from their own, when it really is none of their business.

Does anyone really care what other people do?
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Old 01-02-2009, 11:24 AM
 
Location: THE USA
3,257 posts, read 6,115,175 times
Reputation: 1998
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
So for days, baby howled and new momma was an emotional wreck, plus feeling like a total failure . . . When I called and found out what was going on, I told her - forget it!!! If your milk comes in later, and you can BF - fine! Until then, send DH to get the formula and FEED THAT POOR CHILD!!!!!

.
I agree, for one of my children they woudln't release us from the hospital for 3 days because of this and the losing weight because of it. Eventually we got going but it was a very tense 3 days and i can imagine if it was to go on longer with someone yelling at me.

Do what you gotta do.
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Old 01-02-2009, 01:39 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,166,813 times
Reputation: 3579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taboo2 View Post
This is because some women have intolerance for anything that is different from what THEY THEMSELVES would do. They have a delusional sense of SELF of think they made the ONLY correct decisions and there cannot be ANY OTHER correct decisions out there.

They are unable to distinguish that each child is different, each mother is different, and each family is different and they have different decisions to factor in.

Now imagine these same nazi-like women are raising children to be just like them, intolerant of others decisions that are different from their own, when it really is none of their business.

Does anyone really care what other people do?
The only judgemental comments that I have seen on this thread are from those who are against extended breastfeeding. People have called it disgusting, sickening, creepy, disturbing, compared it to a sexual act, said that mother's who nurse longer then most are crazy and that their kids will have issues. One person even said that it is illegal. Now you are calling women who defend a mothers right to nurse her children longer then our society deems appropriate, nazi's? You have got to be kidding me.
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Old 01-02-2009, 01:48 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,593,756 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by yodi View Post
The only judgemental comments that I have seen on this thread are from those who are against extended breastfeeding. People have called it disgusting, sickening, creepy, disturbing, compared it to a sexual act, said that mother's who nurse longer then most are crazy and that their kids will have issues. One person even said that it is illegal. Now you are calling women who defend a mothers right to nurse her children longer then our society deems appropriate, nazi's? You have got to be kidding me.
Taboo was responding to me, and I was talking about instances of harsh, judgmental comments from a woman who is very outspoken about breastfeeding, among other things. I thought that was pretty clear, since Taboo quoted my post, but sorry for the confusion, just in case. I specifically said that unkind and intrusive comments are made from many walks of life, and Taboo was agreeing with me.
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:43 PM
 
Location: THE USA
3,257 posts, read 6,115,175 times
Reputation: 1998
Quote:
Originally Posted by yodi View Post
The only judgemental comments that I have seen on this thread are from those who are against extended breastfeeding. People have called it disgusting, sickening, creepy, disturbing, compared it to a sexual act, said that mother's who nurse longer then most are crazy and that their kids will have issues. One person even said that it is illegal. Now you are calling women who defend a mothers right to nurse her children longer then our society deems appropriate, nazi's? You have got to be kidding me.

People calling extended breastfeeding creepy or sickening are voicing their opinions. It creeps some people out, just like some women who are very pro nursing get highly offended and voice their concerns when they hear a woman chose not to breastfeed. But unless you lived their life, you have no room to judge others, all you can do is comment about what YOU would do. NOT about what is BEST for someone else, because you are not that person.

From what I have seen on this message board, some women are Nazi-like in their insistance that they are RIGHT and that everyone who disagrees wtih them are wrong, whatever their stance on each issue.

I believe there is room for everyone to be right because each situation is different and each family has their own set of circumstances.

When women do not give other women the respect they deserve for whatever choices they make, they start to make others feel BAD about their decisions and that comes across as mean and bossy and if I have done that I am sorry.

Whether the subject be homeschooling, vaccines, nursing, working or whatever. When you always think you are right and any other way is wrong. That is what this gets nasty and you lose all credibility.

What i meant was- these women who cannot get over the fact that other women make different choices (e.g. don't breastfeed, extended breastfeed) are nazi-like in their approach to try to change minds.
They should step back and look at themselves long and hard and stop assuming they made ALL the right decisions and anyone who disagrees made ALL the wrong decisions. I know I am unsure still if I chose right or not, I only know i did the best that i could.

I am sure there are times that women cannot or should not breastfeed and that is their decision and i am sure there are times when a woman chooses to breastfeed past the normal ages and that is their decision as well. But to say that the way YOU did it is the ONLY way to go and that if you don't do JUST what you did than your child will turn out ruined is just not true. There are lots of factors in people's daily lives that lead them to the decisions they make.

I can't fault anyone for taking the path they did. I am not IN their family, I do not live THEIR life day to day so I have NO RIGHT to tell them they were wrong in breastfeeding until the kid is 6 or not breastfeeding at all.

I do have the right however to say if I am creeped out by the decision they made or that I personally would have never made that same decision.
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