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If I were her, I would not sweat this too much. There are some issues going on and the 14 year old knows it so maybe he is acting out, maybe he is being manipulative, but allow him to regroup and she just needs to rewrap everything and hide it until Christmas morning. Yes, he has already seen everything but still, he should not get his gifts early and if she does not want to return them, then she at least needs to keep them out of his sight and reach (hard to do with a 14 yr old!). I hope that things work out for her and her 14 yr old and she needs to get to the root of the issue.
I used to sneak around and find all my Christmas presents before the day. One year my mom even hid them in the trunk of a car that we were not using and I found them.
I remember being in the mall and pretending to want to buy a shirt(that she had already bought) with my birthday money, it's right before Christmas, today actually, and my mom lost it. She knew I had snooped again and was furious.
I am no longer like that. I like to be surprised. I, too, came from a divorced parents and acted out a lot. In fact, my husband took a job out of town and will not be here to give my present to me today. He gave it to my son and it's hidden somewhere in his room. I could find it easily if I wanted. I chose to be surprised! I have grown up and even with the problems your nephew is going through now, with love and care he will outgrow them.
I agree with PP, the guilt of knowing what he did on Christmas morning and having no surprises will be enough!
I dont think this mom should over react and take everything back. why not talke half of it back? Or take all of it back and switch out presents with things that he needs, not wants.
I cannot believe only one othe person believes there should be some sort of reaction to this. This is a 14 yo boy, not a 5 yo. This is why so many older teens and young adults can not control themselves. There needs to be some sort of consequence for actions. this mom is not doing any justice to her kid by just letting it be. maybe she should spend the money for counseling for both of them. Hopefully I never go through that, but I did watch my bf go through it with a 11 yo boy. Its not easy. I wish her luck.
It would make more of an impression if she sat down and talked to him. Told him how hurt she was and how hard she tried to get it right. One tear might help. Yelling, threatening, punishing, whatever will just increase the anger and resentment of a young man.
She is the adult and as such should act as an adult and use it as a teaching time.
ps: I did much the same but never got caught. In the end, I figured out the lack of surprise was the punishment. It did not get me anything.
She doesn't need to do a thing except re-wrap them nicely and put them back under the tree.
Threatening or taking them back is not a good idea, and it has nothing to do with her ex.
THIS is a very 14 year old thing to do - I did it myself one year - my parents did not know - but I did. That was the worst Christmas for me ever, and I never did it again.
He has taught himself a lesson. Period. Tell mom NOT to be hurt - they will have a good laugh about this when he is older - just buy new wrapping paper and let it be.
It's ok. Kids are kids!
This will be a Christmas he will always remember - and I promise he will not do it again.
While I think that the lack of surprise and excitement will be good enough punishment for the boy, I can't believe that people think that that's normal for a teen to do! We have the presents under our tree right now, and my 8 and 5 year olds would not dream of opening them! They shake them every once in a while and ask how many days until Christmas, but to open them when we've said "those are for Christmas morning"?? And a 14 year old? That's behavior I'd expect from my 3 year old niece... if she came over, I'd probably have to keep a good eye on her and the presents!
I can't believe that people think that that's normal for a teen to do! We have the presents under our tree right now, and my 8 and 5 year olds would not dream of opening them!
Is your husband filling your with children with nonsense and using your children as pawns? Are you in the process of a divorce? No, I don't think it's normal but given the circumstance, it's understandable. As a child of divorce, children often act out.
My son's presents are under the tree and he has shaken them but not opened them. I am not going through a divorce with his father.
My sister (recently divorced) has been working very hard lately to buy her son (almost 14 years old) the things he wanted for Christmas. His father is giving her a hard time with child support payments being on time and by "bad-mouthing" his mother. Daddy can do no wrong and mama can do no right.
She went to the grocery store today and while she was gone.... he opened his presents under the tree and re wrapped them very sloppy. She could tell immediately and confronted him. Her feelings are HURT. She was hoping to feel the pride and joy in providing him with the things he wanted on Christmas morning and now she is devastated.
She has threatened to return all the items. I told her not to completely crush his world but not to make idol threats. What should she do in this situation with this very fragile child?
My son (2 yrs old) unwrapped 3 gifts under the tree a few days ago. Fortunately only one thing was his.
The thing is he's 2. He can't help being 2....that's just the kind of thing 2 year olds do. I don't know what you say to a 14 year old who does the same thing.
Is your husband filling your with children with nonsense and using your children as pawns? Are you in the process of a divorce? No, I don't think it's normal but given the circumstance, it's understandable. As a child of divorce, children often act out.
My son's presents are under the tree and he has shaken them but not opened them. I am not going through a divorce with his father.
I was not commenting on whether that particular 14 year old is acting appropriately given his circumstances (which, even though his parents are divorcing, he IS 14 and not 3 or 6 or 8 years old!)... I'm speaking of the posters who say "yeah, that's typical," or "what do you expect if the presents are out in the open like that?"
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I was a sneak!
Fortunately only one thing was his.
