How old is too old for a man to be a first time father? (teens, parents)

[Stone28]

The only questions you should ask yourself are.........

Are you in good health?

Will you try your hardest to raise a child with good charactor?

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by Coldjensens

You need to look at where you will be at various stages in their life.

My H.S. girlfriend's father was in his late 70s and was senile by the time she was 17. She was terribly embarrassed by him and did not know him all that well becuase he had been senile for most of her recent memory. He regularly mistook me for his son (and occaisionally as his wife). It was rough on her. It must have been worse for her younger brother.

Exactly! That was my point. You can all say "never too old" but it is selfish to have a child for you to enjoy for the rest of your life, when the child may only be able to enjoy YOU only up to a 1/4 of their lives!

I would be happy for ANYONE having a child at any age, but I still "feel" you should reconsider after age 50.

[michelleleigh]

Can happen, met my husband at 30 married at 31, had first baby at 32 2nd at 36> DH was 40 when we married, 42 with the first and 44 with the 2nd. I have had no complaints in how I feel, I feel like I am 18 and keep my self fit.

[charz]

I'm not positive, but wasn't Senator Strom Thurmond from South Carolina 65 years old when his first child was born? He had 4 or 5 children, so he must not have been too old. My brother-in-law was 46 when his first child was born. He doesn't seem too old.

[Filet Mignon]

I'm "closer to 50 than 40", and our last child is about to graduate from high school. So I'm kind of on the other end of the spectrum...

That said, the only concern (and I'm not sure it's a major one) about a post-40 new dad is the slightly higher risk of children born with birth defects. But again, that a SLIGHTLY higher risk.

I've got a buddy who is 48, and his wife just had their 3rd baby (I think he was 42 when they married). The guy is like a kid in a candy store. Ear-to-ear smiles.

[loose cannon]

Im 40 and probably will not have a child until 45 0r 46. It is what it is. My wife will definitely 15-20 years younger. That much is certain. I owe no one explanations. This is the way it is going to be and the naysayers can stick it!

[kimmieyky]

I really do not think there is a magical age considered 'too old' to be a father - other than you need to consider your health and how long, realistically, you will be able to be a father to your child.

Face it, it would not be fair to have a kid at a sickly 60 years old, knowing you may only have a few years to spend.

BUT.... my father is 60, extremely healthy, and if he had a child right now, I fully believe he would be around until the kid was in his 20's.

I think the norm would probably be somewhere in the 50's - Look at David Letterman. How old is he - really?

Anyway, think of it this way....I am 42. I had my first two boys young - and have watched them grow up, graduate, marry, expecting a grandchild....and I had my third son in March of this year. Now, my 60 something father will still be able to enjoy this round of my children plus his great-grandchildren.

You never know what God has in store for you, and I think parenting in itself is a very personal decision to make.

Whether you are 30's, 40's, 50's or more, consider youe health, your beliefs, and lead with your heart.

Merry Christmas! Kimmiey

[mommytotwo]

Originally Posted by jimboburnsy

Mostly kidding around on that last bit. That's actually another danger of delayed fatherhood: Your biological clock starts TICKING LIKE THIS and you pull the matrimonial trigger with a woman you would have never gone beyond third date or first roll in the hay with (whichever is the earlier) when you were 25.

Also, (I'm probably going to get crucified for this) good luck finding an unmarried woman of noble character in her late 30's*







*I'm aware that they do indeed exist, but be wary nonetheless...

There are probably plenty of divorced women in this age range, that are perfectly nice.

Not to say that there are no never been married women in this age range.

To the OP I say go for it. My dh just turned 38 and I cannot say that 4 years from now I would not consider having children simply because he is 42 (lol, I might rule it out for other reasons, but not his being over 40) I don't think it's ideal to have kids at age 50 and up, but really it's for you to decide because only you live through your own life circumstances.

[Chippery]

If it's supposed to happen - it will.

[sailordave]

My wife was born when her father was 43. She's 40 now. My father-in-law now lives with us so we can care for him. Thirteen years ago she was caring for her mother up until she died. Physically, you can have a child in your later years. However, it will can be emotionally demanding on the child to care for you in your later years while still having children of their own to care for. For you, the demands will be physical trying to raise children when your body is slowing down. The emotional demands, as I see in my father-in-law's eyes daily, is having the roles reversed in having your child care for you as if you were the child. It's brutally honest to say, but I hope he dies peacefully in his sleep before the next new years. He proudly served in WW2 and Korea so being cared for as if a child must be killing him inside daily. What makes it worse is he still has a sharp mind with little to no memory loss.