How old is too old for a man to be a first time father?

[jtur88]

I have often pondered what it would be like for a teenager to have a father who is in his 60's, and I don't think that is fair to the teenager. Teens are very sensitive about who their parents are, and would prefer that they are "regular", and not attract enough attention that they need to explain them to their peers. Even more so, with respect to a boy child, to have a father who is too old to play ball with him.

People all too often have children, without thinking about whether their children will think it is a good idea. You should have children for the children, not for yourselves.

"I have done my children the favor of not having them" ---Nietzsche

[gentlearts]

I think 60 is pretty much the oldest, provided that you make financial arrangements so the children are taken care of if you die before they are grown, and if their mother is comfortable with that.

[partyof4]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

I would say 90 is too old.

I think so too

[Huckleberry3911948]

next year.

[coloradocutter]

I think this argument is the same either way. My dad's mom had him at 20 and he cared for her until her death recently at 86. It was very difficult for him to watch her decline and be so close to her age himself. He was thinking so much about his own mortality that it was extremely painful for him. He kept saying - that will be me in 20 years. 20 years doesn't sound like much, 40 years does. At 46, he would have the lives of his children and other things to look forward too. With me grown and his parents gone, and his grandchildren living far away, he knows that he will likely be living with us soon and then we will be taking care of him. It was really hard for him to watch alone.

[Jackyfrost01]

There is no such age.

All I'd say is consider your age when this kid is a teenager. Are you going to be able to handle them physically and mentally? Stuff like that. Do you wanna still be raising a child during your golden years?

[Sampaguita]

DH & I are 6 yrs apart and had first became parents last year - me at 42 & he at 48. We are keeping up with our 14 month old twins just fine...parents who are younger than us by some 10-15 yrs with twins have the same complaints that come with having 2 at once and in many cases, they actually have more "problems" than we do. So, I don't really think you can base these decisions solely on age. You also have to look at where you're currently in life.

My parents were "older" parents in comparison to all my friends' parents - mine were in their late 30s when they had me. Their contemporaries were 10 yrs younger. Many of my elementary school classmates lost their young parents before they even reached HS so I don't buy into the "how long are you going to be around for your kids" argument. None of us knows what the future holds.

There are lots of 20-something old dads out there who play no role in their children's lives for whatever reasons (working too much, no desire to immerse themselves in their kids' lives/needs, totally out of the picture, etc...) whereas there are "older" dads who spend QT with their kids. So who has it better? The children with the uninvolved but young father or the children with the 40-50yr old dads who play with them, read to them, attend their school functions, guide them, etc...?