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I lived at home up until 26 years old. I was going to school full time and working, I also helped out at home. After I graduated and found a better job I was finally able to move. I think it just depends on the situation I've known people who left at 18 and came back in their later 20's due to financial struggles. I've also known people that live with their parents until the day they die......IMO I don't think I can do that personally I like having my own "freedom" too much.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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Originally Posted by theunbrainwashed
I think the American baby boomer Midwestern mentality of living out on your own as close to age 18 as possible is coming to an end, certainly in the Northeast, Florida, southern Texas, and the west coast. As for being selfish to ask for your kids to take care of you during old age, families have been doing that for thousands of years, this is a 20th century American mentality almost exclusively, with the rest of the Anglo-Saxon countries sharing similar traits, but not so much anymore thanks to skyrocketing housing prices
oh its not a selfish act to them, in their culture they actually want to take care of their parents.. its kind of a culture thing so it doesn't bother them..
i did a see a special on people buying multigenerational homes because its cheaper and everyone can pitch in.. its like small 2 townhouses connected together by a walkway/hallway
It's a discussion and you apparently cannot accept different views --- and as for different cultures, it's your people that fled their own culture to come to the American culture but at the same time despise it.
Excuse you? My ancestors were dragged and ENSLAVED to America CENTURIES AGO (I bet my family has been in this country longer than yours). We didn't come here by choice. We were FORCED. Your ignorance is astounding.
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I clearly said everyone should do what they want -- if grown adults never want to have their own home, that's totally up to them, and even in the USA, all along there have been those who never cut the apron strings.
Home ownership is overrated, or are you blind to the housing market?
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My parents were less likely to ever be put in a nursing home than yours -- because they stayed strong and independent. Even if we had wanted to put my Dad in a nursing home, we couldn't have been able to catch him. That's how I want to be when ti comes to my kids, I dont' want them to grow up belieiving they must give up having their own families and lives to sit at my bedside or to always keep me entertained.
I highly doubt that. My mom is fifty years old and runs on the treadmill six-ten miles a day and was at one point twelve percent body fat. She is in brilliant shape, better than most twenty-somethings, and her nearly eighty year old father drives cross country and is very active for his age.
Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. I know plenty of adult "children" still living with their parents who also have spouses and children and careers. Wake up!
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I think you have a misperception of American culture. Americans don't eagerly toss their parents into nursing homes, it's actually a difficult decision and one made for those who need nursing care 24-7.
Again as a parent, I will not discourage my kids from leaving home, I will encourage their independence -- and my own. I will not use them, I did not have them to use them. I would hope they stay close to me emotionally not from "duty" but from love and affection.
I work in the healthcare system and even volunteered in nursing homes. I know what I'm talking about. It is you who clearly has her/his head in the sand. America doesn't value the elderly like other nations to America's detriment.
Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. I know plenty of adult "children" still living with their parents who also have spouses and children and careers. Wake up!
I work in the healthcare system and even volunteered in nursing homes. I know what I'm talking about. It is you who clearly has her/his head in the sand. America doesn't value the elderly like other nations to America's detriment.
I really don't care what you do, you are free to live with your mommy and daddy until you're 80 for all I care but I'm not going to raise my kids to never be allowed to leave home and make their own lives.
The title of this thread is about what age people think kids should be out on their own, you insist never -- that's your opinion, but I think 23 is a good upper limit -- unless the kid is unable to make it on his/her own. And no -- my daughter is not going to be raised any differently than my sons and think she's a bad person if she tries to have her own life. I want her to be just as strong and independent, nor do I expect her to send her brothers to college as that would be theirs and my responsibility. Not hers.
It's just a big cultural difference -- you have your culture which you were raised in, I have mine. I'm not about to go back and start teaching my kids they can never leave home and must remain with me forever so they can be my constant companions or caretakers.
I know of a 25-year-old female (I don't feel right calling her either a girl OR a woman, because neither seem to fit), who lives at home with her parents. She's had some college off and on, but she dropped out of her programs more than once, so it appears. She now works from home doing medical transcription. (Sounds fancy, but it doesn't take a great amount of training. When I was younger, I attended a seminar about it at Holiday Inn. They wanted a few thou for a start-up kit, from what I can remember. Then you train on the internet, and through mail or something. I took a pass. )
From the sounds of it, it's not steady, nor is it full-time. I've only met her on the internet, but it appears she works sporadically. She won't work for a while, then suddenly she'll be transcribing for 12 hours straight.
She claims extreme and obviously debilitating anxiety issues as the culprit for keeping her at home. But I don't believe it. I think this is the new modern excuse among young people. As a quick side note, I also know a 36-year-old guy who claims the same thing, and has even talked in passing about trying to get disability (LMAO!).
Anyway, back to the chick - She spends way too much time on the internet. All her friends are online. No real-life ones. She bragged about sleeping until late afternoon before, so it doesn't appear this medical transcription thing has set hours. She's obsessed with a B-list celebrity, and in turn, this celebrity thinks she's just the bees knees. He followed her back on Twitter and lets her do creative video stuff for him to upload to YouTube.
That's her, in a nutshell. I think the anxiety thing is a cop-out. She's just lazy and doesn't want to live on her own. She has never said if she contributes to household bills, but it doesn't appear so. And should it matter at that age? Time to move out. I'm not speaking from a place of ignorance either. I HAD anxiety and panic about eight years ago. Was on meds for it. I had all of it. The panic attacks, the dread, believing I was having a heart attack/losing my mind, the disassociation (people with anxiety know what that is). When you're living with anxiety, that's not funny business. You want to be RID OF IT.
No one is saying must. But why so negatively judgmental of those who do decide to stay in their family homes? Why assume they cannot be "strong and independent" while remaining part of a family unit? You see a guy mooching in his parents' basement, I see my father who moved home after college and help put his brother through college before he got married.
I think when adults use their parents and their parents' home disrespectfully and as an excuse not to work full time and to live financially irresponsible lives - then they are too old to live at home.
I also think that college age kids who think it's OK to take 7 years to finish a 4 year degree, who continue to live in an extended state of adolescence (mom cooking and cleaning, grown kid lounging around playing video games while the parents work full time) are too old to live at home.
However, that being said, many other Western countries (as well as other countries in general) have lifestyles and economies that encourage people to live in multigenerational homes. I actually think this can be a great idea -as many other baby boomers like me are finding out as our parents enter old age but remain pretty active. We are actually in the process of looking for a home with a "mother in law suite" because we see the reality of needing to provide a safe place for OUR parents in the near future. Now - in that case - who is actually living "at home" with who?
I like the idea of generations living together - it's the way life has been in most of the world for most of history. It's the extended adolescence trend that I find disturbing.
I like the idea of generations living together - it's the way life has been in most of the world for most of history. It's the extended adolescence trend that I find disturbing.
I agree. Unmarried adults moving out on their own is a fairly modern Western concept. I see nothing wrong with multigenerational homes unless it emotionally stunts the younger generation. I think it is a concept we in America are going to need to get used to; lots of my generation are not prepared financially to retire if anything happens to Social Security.
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