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Old 08-02-2013, 08:46 AM
 
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For millennials, leaving the nest is hard to do - latimes.com
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Old 08-02-2013, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Aiken, South Carolina, US of A
1,752 posts, read 3,635,245 times
Reputation: 3521
I am a parent of adult children.
My baby is 27 years old and lives in a different state with his girlfriend.
He has completed 2 years of college, and is working on his 3rd year this
year, and he works 32 hours a week at Chick File.
His girlfriend works at another one.
There are no jobs. They struggle, he applies to anything and everything
and not even an interview.
THey pay almost 1000 a month in rent, but it includes electric and heat.
THey make next to nothing.
He is the proudest person I know, even if he was hungry, he wouldn't tell me.
My daughter lives in the state I live in, and most of the time lives with her BF,
she has a 2 year degree and works at a supermarket, makes about 11 hr.
She only lives 5 miles from work, and usually works the hours she likes, and
she is finishing her education also, she is 34, but makes nothing.
Both of my kids are really smart, they get A's on their hectic schedules.
They can live with me, (well the youngest won't move to where I live),
rent free and work the stupid jobs part time so they can complete their college
sooner, but they won't.
See? The worrying never ends, it just goes on and on...the older they get
the bigger the problems are.
Things are not like when I was young and moved out in the 70's.
They will never be the same either.
We are living in a different world now and no one seems to notice or care.
Those jobs are gone. They aren't coming back.
That is why I worry for my adult kids. They will never have it as good as when I
grew up.
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Old 08-02-2013, 04:15 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,819,682 times
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It comes down to another one of those issues that really only those immediately affected matter. If for example a guy lives with his parents at age 40, who really cares unless it directly affects them, like someone dating this guy.

Or anyone that the parents or the son complain to if either complains but if those involved have no issues with it , then others are just injecting their opinions where they aren't needed. It could be financial, and the adult child prefers to have roommates and gets along just fine with parents.

Just like who cares if two siblings choose to live in the same house. The significant others might worry, others don't really need to.
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Old 08-02-2013, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Seattle,WA
1,751 posts, read 1,927,908 times
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I'm 32 and live at home with may parents. I want to move out but it's expensive to rent an apartment in California.

Also because I have aspergers it's tough for me to get a job that pays enough to afford $1,500 a month apartment.
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Old 08-02-2013, 11:57 PM
 
Location: San Marcos, TX
2,572 posts, read 6,284,092 times
Reputation: 3999
My 21 year old son lives at home. He contributes to the household so that's sufficient, though he would prefer to live on his own and is working towards that goal. I support him in that goal. Although he is great company and we get along really well, I would never hold him back "in the nest" but I would also not ever kick him out on the streets as long as he is contributing, helping out, acting like an adult.

I moved out when I was 17, but 1) my mother was/is a nightmare to live with and 2) things were very different thing with regard to what things cost. It was considerably easier in "my day". I want my son to be happy and I know he will be happier when he is out on his own, but I am also glad he didn't feel the need to get the hell away from me as fast as possible, as I did with my own mother!
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Old 08-03-2013, 12:16 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,374 posts, read 25,651,310 times
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Our kids can stay as long as they want as long as the following applies:

1. They can stay up till they have graduated from high school and are under 18 years of age.

2. If after they have graduated from high school and are over 18 they can stay if they continue to go to school. They do have to show us a plan of action so that they can complete there education and go on to become productive citizens.

3. If they choose not to go to school then they can work and pay rent. $500 a month sounds about right.
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Old 08-03-2013, 12:24 AM
Status: "MAGA" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: New Jersey
10,549 posts, read 6,024,487 times
Reputation: 10360
The American in me wants to call this person a bum. At the same time, many, many other cultures live with their family unit their entire lives. So, I am not sure it is necessary a bad thing.
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Old 08-03-2013, 01:11 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,819,682 times
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I know even when moving out was more the norm, my cousin moved out but couldn't stand his roommate's living standards -- beer cans laying around, he was the only one who would wash dishes so he decided his parents were easier to live with and moved back until he married.

I think at some point, it's either still a parent-child relationship or roommates but that implies that the adult child does contribute to the household in some way. It might not be money, but it could be convenient for parents who like to travel for example to have a built-in housesitter.
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Old 08-03-2013, 01:38 AM
 
1 posts, read 808 times
Reputation: 10
Ideally, there should be no age limits highlighted in the comments. If someone feels it's odd to be living with parents past their 30 or 25 or 20, or whatever the bar might be, then I believe it's the mindset with personal issues. It's just the inner core not being stable enough to do the thinking regarding this matter and it's positive relevance. I guess it's probably those with the parent issues who come up with the weird notion and comments like that. Family, especially parents can actually turn to be a real peace of mind when times are testing. A spouse is always a spouse until divorce or mental separation, but your relationship with parents/family never ceases. The issues of staying at home beyond 30 for a male can range from reasons of being unemployed, not finding a girl, health issues, feeling insecured otherwise. It's sad when parents are actually playing a part in kicking out their children. And most end up being subjected to mental and physical stress in their later life. They turn out to be picking up odd habits of drinking or smoking in excess. My dad was a victim who was 1 out of 6 siblings. He was asked to leave home at 19 by my grand dad, and even today when he narrates his experience by smoking a cig or drink, I do really feel bad for him. Well, it's because of the same guy, I stand with my head held high. I'm qualified to a Master's degree in Engineering, have a job and sometimes still rely on him for my livelihood expenses. Something I'll cherish for the years to come.

Last edited by jonam; 08-03-2013 at 01:54 AM..
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:50 AM
 
Location: San Marcos, TX
2,572 posts, read 6,284,092 times
Reputation: 3999
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
<snip>

I think at some point, it's either still a parent-child relationship or roommates but that implies that the adult child does contribute to the household in some way. It might not be money, but it could be convenient for parents who like to travel for example to have a built-in housesitter.
Housesitter, dog-sitter, sitter of the younger children, lifter of heavy things, washer of dishes, etc.
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