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Apologies in advance if this is the wrong forum - but this is TECHNICALLY related to parenting, even though I'm the bigger brother (almost 23 ) and I could use some "parenting" advice. If this thread gets moved to a more appropriate forum, then please PM me about this so I can locate the newly located thread, moderator.
Anyway.
My young sister, who's 13, is worrying me these days. I realize she's a "big bad teenager", but lately, she has been sporting such an awful attitude. The sad thing is, my parents has done absolutely nothing about this. Nada. Zilch. I have talked to them about her attitude, the way she treats me and my younger brother, and the way she doesn't show us any respect. She throws things in my room, almost hitting me on my face, gives me attitude when I try to tell her that I'd like a bit more respect shown to me, she never helps around the house. She's a megaslob (I'm not exaggerating - her room is literally always in shambles), and the kicker? She never washes her hands, not even after going to the bathroom. I'm not kidding. She told me it was a waste of her time. I tried repeatedly to explain to her that washing her hands would help her health and our health (by preventing the spread of germs). Plus, the thought of her going poop and then not washing her hands....ICK! Just so disgusting. My parents are doing absolutely nothing to encourage her to wash her hands, her attitude, and her extremely sloppy room. Case in point: I tried fixing her and my brother's computer up - and she made a really mean background using Paint with a drawing of me (stick figure) with an "explosion" around my head, and said "KEEP AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER ANDREW!!!!!!!!!" I tried showing my mom this and how it really hurt me, and she didn't even care - in fact, she got impatient about it and just left without saying anything.
I feel at the end of my rope, and my grandma does too. You're probably thinking - she's only 13, get a life, just let her be - but she's my little sister. She used to be so sweet and fun, but lately it's been like she morped into an unpleasant person to be with. I even decided to surprise her with soap to try to encourage her to wash her hands, but was met with attitude and a lack of gratitude for me buying her soap. Sigh.
Any advice? Especially about the handwashing issue?
You've brought it to your parents attention, that's about all you can do. My little sister is quite younger than me too, and when she hit 13...well it was just horrible. LOL. She's 18 now and human again and says that knowing we were looking out for her helped even though it ticked her off when we brought different things to our parents attention. Don't get caught up trying to be another parent to her. That never works out. LOL. But don't take any crap from her either. Just because your not her father, doesn't mean that she can't learn there's a right and wrong way to treat her brother. Just because your parents let her do certain things doesn't mean that you have to allow the relationship between the two of you to go that way too. What's good about being a sibling as opposed to a parent is that siblings get to call each other out on things in a little more in your face fashion than parents do. Use that to your advantage. I don't mean for you to be mean, but think about it in terms of one of her friends. If one of them knew she didn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and they were sharing a bowl of chips-I bet that friend would have no problem telling her to back off the bowl until she came back with clean hands-and she would probably listen. There's no reason you can't do the same. It's nice that you care as much as you do-and she sees that even if she doesn't act like it. Good luck.
I have to agree that if you don't like your parents' parenting style, and you're 23, you could feel free to move out.... Thirteen is hard, and your parents probably have learned by now to pick their battles. I can see them not wanting to get involved in disputes between their teenage and adult children.
be patient.... I'll bet by this summer when she is wanting rides to and from her friends houses, to the mall or wherever, you'll have leverage. I wouldn't try to aprent her, she has those already. This is a phase... when her friends call her out for being gross, she will change her tune. As for the disrespect, I would go to my parents with that. In our home me have rules... If a door is closed, everyone (including parents) has to knock AND wait for a response before opening the door. She shouldn't be throwing things at you.
On the other hand, you should respect her also. Even if she is being a brat. You will not gain any influence if she feels angry at you all the time, or feels you are angry at her all the time.
I agree with a couple of the other posts. You are 23 and you would probably find it much less stressful to find your own place. I am living in a house with a disrespectful teen and I want to move out for the next couple years...but I can't. I'm mom. :-)
Thanks for the advice so far. I should have clarified that I'm actually visiting home from college on winter break, that I don't actually live home anymore.
well, if you are just visiting, part of the problem may be that she isn't the center of your parents attention now and she doesn't like it. She is probably not aware of the whys and wherefores of her behavior, but one thing she does know, is that it bothers you.
She's going to act like a brat and do things to irritate you. Why, because she's 13. Her body is in the midst of BIG changes and it can be a problem for most girls. They are no longer little girls, but they aren't big girls either.
Don't push her or try to straighten things out. It will just make things worse.
Thanks for the advice so far. I should have clarified that I'm actually visiting home from college on winter break, that I don't actually live home anymore.
I was thinking this was the case. As other have said, this is likely a phase, that will last for years. You've done what you can with your parents. The only other thing I can think of will likely grate her further, but I'd start putting on rubber gloves anytime you're about to touch something she touches. Make sure she sees you doing this. She'll likely get irritated and maybe even complain to your parents. If you really want to get graphic, wear a filter mask if you're invited into her room. At some point, she might get the hint. In any case, you can both laugh about it when she becomes human again around age 18.
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) and I could use some "parenting" advice. 
If this thread gets moved to a more appropriate forum, then please PM me about this so I can locate the newly located thread, moderator.
It'd be greatly appreciated.
You've done what you can with your parents. The only other thing I can think of will likely grate her further, but I'd start putting on rubber gloves anytime you're about to touch something she touches. Make sure she sees you doing this. She'll likely get irritated and maybe even complain to your parents. If you really want to get graphic, wear a filter mask if you're invited into her room. At some point, she might get the hint. In any case, you can both laugh about it when she becomes human again around age 18.
