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Old 01-07-2009, 07:44 AM
 
8 posts, read 11,295 times
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There are three in my family -- DH, DS15 and myself -- in a small house with one bathroom. My son occasionally will run past our bedroom and into the bathroom naked but usually covers up, but only because we've told him to; he'd go naked in front of us and wouldn't care, if we didn't force him to cover up when appropriate. So, he's a "free bird."

Sometimes I'm in the bathroom with the door open putting on my makeup, and he'll be telling me about his day from the other room, then walk into the bathroom while he's still talking, drop his drawers and use the toilet mid-sentence. He has no qualms about doing number one or number two in front of me. I'm thinking that at his age he shouldn't be baring himself in front of his mother. I turn my head and tell him to cover, but he ends up laughing then so do I, then I often leave the room. Sometimes when I'm in a rush I just stay in there. Is this behavior uncommon? Should I begin to insist on more modesty? In all other ways he is appropriate.
Thanks in advance for your opinion.
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Old 01-07-2009, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,845,131 times
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I don't think I'd have a problem with it if my child didn't have a problem with it. My DH and I use the bathroom in each other's presence and rarely close the bathroom door. But there is such variation among different families on their comfort levels with such things. I know couples who won't even pass gas in front of each other, so everyone has different standards! But I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with what your son is doing.
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Old 01-07-2009, 08:09 AM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,724,633 times
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Families have different senses of what is appropriate, nudity-wise. If it bothers you, then you should insist on more modesty, but not because of what others, who presumably do not live in your house, think. I'm assuming that he does not do this at other people's houses. Set the rules/guidelines for what works in your house.
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Old 01-07-2009, 08:43 AM
 
2,809 posts, read 6,118,033 times
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It is definitely not the norm for guys that age. Most of them are painfully modest! That said, he obviously feels pretty comfortable about himself but I would let him know that modesty is not just for yourself but for the consideration of others.
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Old 01-07-2009, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,670 posts, read 69,795,602 times
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He is going to embarrass a lot of other people, too, if he does not learn to comport himself more in keeping with social expectations. That will not be good for him in the long run. I have no problem with people who are eccentric in their personal habits, but if he has an attitude that the world can just put up with him, no matter what he does or how he behaves, he needs an attitude adjustment.

It's called "considering the feelings of others", and people who cannot or refuse to do that are, in extreme cases, called "sociopaths".
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Old 01-07-2009, 09:38 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 7,783,319 times
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It's your house and if he is comfortable and you are comfortable with it, who cares? I would let him know that vistors to the house might not appreciate it and in that case to be discreet. I think it is great that a 15 yr old is that comfortable with his Mom and it speaks of a close relationship, and in this day and age with all the issues that teenagers have to deal with it is nice to have a trusting relationship.
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Old 01-07-2009, 09:53 AM
 
821 posts, read 1,728,177 times
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I think its your house and he's comfortable with you and himself to walk around like that. Then its fine. Just as long as he is being respectful - I wouldnt see a problem with it.... count yourself lucky that your kid even wants to be around you guys at that age :-)
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Old 01-07-2009, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,082 posts, read 4,160,029 times
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I think it' s more of an authority issue; he should respect your wishes if you were there first, but then he'd have to ask you to "hurry up" and get out so he could use the can and he prob does not want to do that. Adult men should at some point learn that women are not always their moms nor should they treat them all like mom; they should learn to distinguish child like attitudes toward women and adult attitudes.
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Old 01-07-2009, 10:52 PM
 
2,141 posts, read 6,943,571 times
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I applaud your son's lack of inhibition. The human body is nothing to be embarrassed about. My advice to you is that if you can handle it, don't say anything. However, if this making you very uncomfortable, tell him that you are a more private and modest person and his nudity and open bathroom habits makes you uncomfortable and ask him to stop the behavior. As a previous poster said, that we all have to change our behaviors at times for the considerations of others and in this instance, you're asking him to be considerate of you. If he gets offended or irate and says something like, "your modesty is not my problem", then tell him that he's right. That this is your issue and you're asking him to support you on this. If that doesn't work, start locking the bathroom door when you're using the bathroom.
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Old 01-08-2009, 10:21 AM
 
5,922 posts, read 12,478,585 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin View Post
Families have different senses of what is appropriate, nudity-wise. If it bothers you, then you should insist on more modesty, but not because of what others, who presumably do not live in your house, think. I'm assuming that he does not do this at other people's houses. Set the rules/guidelines for what works in your house.
Ditto... I was going to reply with the same sort of thoughts.

In our house we don't even share the bathroom when we brush our teeth. If one of us is in the bathroom, the door is closed and anybody else that needs to use the bathroom waits respectfully until the person in the bathroom is finished. We also don't talk to the person who is in the bathroom unless it's something really important - like letting the person know if you're leaving the house or something. Otherwise, when one of us is in the bathroom, we are left alone. But that's just us. Different families have different ways of doing things.

We had some friends years ago who were completely opposite of us... they really didn't seem to have any privacy rules in their house at all. They would walk around naked even with guests and other children over, use the restroom with the doors wide open and talking to each other, they even allowed their kids to pull down their pants and pee in the front yard if they had to go!! It was shocking to us, but to them it was no big deal. It's just how they had always lived and done things. Different strokes for different folks.

If you are feeling uncomfortable, you need to set some ground rules and let the others in the house know what's up. Just because your son is OK with all that doesn't mean you have to be OK with it. He is old enough to understand that it's important to respect others feelings. It's one thing when it's all guys... guys will do that kinda stuff and not blink an eye about it. But women are different - usually. And the men in your life need to respect your wishes and feelings. I'm in a house full of men, I'm the only woman, so I know what I'm talking about. Guys are just different.
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