One more reason NOT to put my kids in daycare (party, support)

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

No. I was stating facts. If you trust daycare with your child you are trusting that they would treat your child as YOU yourself would! By sending your kids you are assuming the daycare shares your parenting standards. So yes, they are also "parenting" your child. There is nothing wrong with that. I just don't choose to do so. My standards are different. I have not found a daycare that meets them. doesn't mean I am better. Adn for the rest of the post, I don't see anything condescending. Sorry

Perhaps if you stop saying daycare providers "parent" our children. You've used that phrase several times, always with those quotation marks around them. Daycare doesn't parent my son, *I* do. My girls' schools do not "parent" them either, I do.

Also, I imagine some people are stung by your insistence in your vaccination thread that parents who choose to innoculate their kids are less educated than those who choose not to, like you do.

[crazyworld]

I have to admit that I have gone back and read so many of your opinionated posts and YOU do CLEARLY come off as argumentative to mostly everyone you post with and from what you have written you do pretty much think you are better than every one else.
This poster has put herself on a pedestal.

[121804]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

By sending your kids you are assuming the daycare shares your parenting standards.

And you know this because?

That's right...you don't...

[miasmommy]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

Perhaps if you stop saying daycare providers "parent" our children. You've used that phrase several times, always with those quotation marks around them. Daycare doesn't parent my son, *I* do. My girls' schools do not "parent" them either, I do.

Also, I imagine some people are stung by your insistence in your vaccination thread that parents who choose to innoculate their kids are less educated than those who choose not to, like you do.

You obviously haven't read my posts because I DO vaccinate. There are a few that I do not. And you do share parenting with those you leave your children with. What does a parent do?? Teach, nurture, love, guide, feed, provide shelter and discipline. What does a daycare provider do??? Teach, nurture, love guide, feed, provide shelter, discipline!

I'm not saying it is wrong. A couple people posted that the they trust daycare and the workers treat their children as they do. So YES, they are sharing the parenting. I share parenting with people too. I just don't with daycare providers.

I never acted like I was better than anyone. All that is being done is a twisting of words. Everyone seems defensive about the decision to send their kids to daycare. If you are confident in your choice, then stop trying to plead your cases. I'm confident in my choice, so I am leaving it at that. I don't feel the need to prove anything any further.

I'm sure all of our children are beautiful and smart and are going to make this world a wonderful place whether or not they went to daycare or not.

[dvcgal]

I don't trust big chain daycares. I was forced to use a big chain daycare when my daughter was 2 and I just never felt totally comfortable with her being there. I felt like she got lost in the crowd (too many kids, not enough staff). Now that I do not have to work, my son, two days a week for 2 hours (4 hours a week total) attends a playschool at our local church and he loves it! There are 7 boys total in the class with two women running the class. The ratio is perfect and he LOVES going!!! I love that he gets out and is able to socialize with others and it allows me a few hours each week to run around and get grocery shopping done or whatever without him. Plus the director is lovely and she has become more like family. I would not say that all daycares are bad and this story seems to be an isolated event at this center, but I understand how parents are paranoid these days about daycare centers because of a few bad apples! People have to make personal choices that they are comfortable with and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

I've had a lump in my throat since I read this in my paper this morning. I will NOT be putting my children into daycare for many reasons, this being one of them.

This should have NEVER happened. This girl is going to have to deal with the fact that she killed an innocent little kid for the rest of her life.

Day care aide held in murder of boy :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Chicago Crime

That is terrible, what a tragic story, but i don't think daycare was the problem, i think the pyscho woman was the problem.

You can't make sweeping generalizations about daycares no more than you can about anything. That is just not an intelligent way to look at things.

NO one WANTS to send their kids out of the house at 1yrs old but some parents have to work. It is best if you have someone watching your kids who LOVE them instead of a clinical school setting. But there are plusses to daycare.
Day Care May Cut Kids' Asthma Risk - Asthma Symptoms, Relief Therapies, Treatment and Medications on MedicineNet.com

I believe every parent would prefer to stay home with their infants and toddlers. I also know that is not always possible.

[Taboo2]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

Not overprotective either. Overprotective because I want I don't want to leave my BABY/YOUNG CHILD with people that are not family or close friends???

When she is older it will be different! Until then, playdates and mommy are what MY baby needs.

Oh yeah I stayed home with one of my kids as well for the first 1.5 yrs. IT cost us $65,000 for me to stay home with her for that year and a half, but it was worth it. Can't say I wouldn't do it again but I have found a family friend who adores my children to watch the others so it all worked out in the end for us.

[RebeccaLeigh]

I get kind of upset when people go off about daycare providers or lump them all together. My mother opened aday care when I was little so that she could stay home and she was amazing at it. She treated every child as if they were her own. And was their for the parents as well. I mean my mother would keep kids past 6 when she closed if needed, sometimes even feeding kids dinner when a divorced mom got stuck at work.

Are there bad daycare workers, of course, but there are bad parents as well, I should know we do foster care. It's not right to lump all daycare providers into the same group.

[mimimomx3]

Originally Posted by dvcgal

I don't trust big chain daycares. I was forced to use a big chain daycare when my daughter was 2 and I just never felt totally comfortable with her being there. I felt like she got lost in the crowd (too many kids, not enough staff). Now that I do not have to work, my son, two days a week for 2 hours (4 hours a week total) attends a playschool at our local church and he loves it! There are 7 boys total in the class with two women running the class. The ratio is perfect and he LOVES going!!! I love that he gets out and is able to socialize with others and it allows me a few hours each week to run around and get grocery shopping done or whatever without him. Plus the director is lovely and she has become more like family. I would not say that all daycares are bad and this story seems to be an isolated event at this center, but I understand how parents are paranoid these days about daycare centers because of a few bad apples! People have to make personal choices that they are comfortable with and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.

I'm going to back you up on the church daycare. My kids all went to a church preschool/daycare and it was amazing. The people who work there are so passionate and caring about what they do, and they have become part of our extended family. I have visited some preschools/daycares where I wouldn't board my dog. It depends.

[haggardhouseelf]

My mother ran a day care. By day she was this seemingly normal self-proclaimed kool-aid mom, by night she was a messed-up alcoholic nightmare, single mom, with four kids of her own she couldn't take care of without her friends, boyfriends, and relatives always there to support her or bail her out. It was really odd living that double life. Her drinking eventually got so bad that we were kicked out of our house and she lost all her day care kids. It got really bad for awhile until she sobered up.

Just because of a few bad apples, though, it doesn't mean all day cares are bad, or have negligent people working at them. I'm sure most day cares have wonderful people in them who really do love kids and love working with them.

For me, personally, just that experience with my mom and the day care thing totally turned me off of the idea of ever putting my own children in day care. You just never know people, really, my mom taught me that. I couldn't stand the thought of my kids staying in day care for hours a day, every day when they could be home with me. No one will love and nurture kids like their parents can, so long as they are functioning parents.

But while we've chosen to never use babysitters or day care for our children, we do support other families choices to use day care or nannies. Many families feel they need day care so that both parents can work in order to support their chosen lifestyle. My husband and I feel that it's better to make personal financial sacrifices in your lifestyle if needed so that you can take personal responsibility and raise your own children. They are only young once, and for such a short time. I love being a stay at home mother, and wouldn't trade it or the relationships I have with both my children for the world. A psychologist once told me that children often have more respect for parents who spend more of their time with them. I think that is part of the problem today... there are just so many kids who are being raised in day care environments, the number is enormous. It used to be more common for kids to be raised by their parents, but now it's more common to send the babies off to day care as soon as your maternity leave ends. The parents are not investing their time into their children like they used to years ago. Many children are growing up without learning to respect their parents, or their elders. They are growing up learning to look away from their parents and live outside their home. A day care environment full of other kids and adults is just so different than a home environment with mom or dad. It especially makes me sad to see infants and toddlers in day care. That's just too young. I have always volunteered a lot in our kids schools, and I see a big difference between the day care kids and the kids who have a mom or dad staying home to take care of them. One of the most immediate differences you notice is the health and appearance of the child. Most day care kids, especially the younger ones, seem to always have snotty noses. The day care kids also seem starved for attention. They stick to you like glue when you show any interest in them as an individual at all because in day care, they are just part of a group, they are not an individual. Just like in school, they are just sort of herded around from here to there and expected to follow directions and behave according to the rules of the insititution. Growing up at home is a much richer environment where a child can truly feel like an important individual who is worthy of their parents love and attention.

Anyway - this is a hot topic. I do understand that for many parents day care either is something they feel they need or something they simply want to do. I support them, even if I don't agree with it. But I think it's important not to bash those parents who do choose to stay at home to care for their own children. It's a personal choice, and there's no wrong choice in this situation as long as you feel you are doing what's best for your children.