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Can't afford to work! Not only would it cost to pay for daycare I WANT TO BE WITH MY CHILDREN AS A MOTHER!!!!!!!!! It's a personal choice for me and my family. My husband and I don't want a phonecall or "daily review" informing us that our baby took her first step or that she said her first word! The list goes on and on and on........
Not overprotective either. Overprotective because I want I don't want to leave my BABY/YOUNG CHILD with people that are not family or close friends???
When she is older it will be different! Until then, playdates and mommy are what MY baby needs.
I think the above is your primary reason why you won't put your child in daycare and you will continue to make yourself feel good about incidents like you posted to justify your real reason, which BTW is a VALID reason not to use daycare. When the cost of daycare is greater than one's income, it is a no-brainer to stay home and watch your child yourself. But, as many posters have mentioned, using this incident, sad as it is, is not one that many will use as an argument for or against being a SAHM, nor for or against the use of daycares.
No chip. Just once again MY beliefs have been challanged and questioned. And that is fine, this IS a forum and is to be expected I guess. But that wasn't MY intent when I posted. I only posted a horrible story about a murdered child which only added to my extensive list of reasons why I would NEVER send MY kids to daycare. I'll be sure to only post threads the way you want me to from now on.
There are lots of SAHMS who kill their children. Those children would have better off in daycare. There are children who are without heat & food right now. They would be better off in daycare but their family cannot afford it.
SAHMs are not the everything. They make mistakes, too. Be careful, the first fall off the horse can hurt.
Once or if you have more than 1 child, you'll also realize some of your statements are ridiculous.
I know 1 mom who works & sends her child to daycare by CHOICE. 1. Other than that, every one else..pure financial need that most times is based on things I have no clue about b/c IT"S NOT my life nor my business.
So quick to throw the first stone...
Until you've been there...you really have no clue.
I've been on both sides. I love it when SAHMs who've never had to put their children in daycare give their list of 5,000 reasons as if NO ONE else has every thought that way & that how everything they are doing is the very best with no little flaw and aren't they just so the perfect mommy...want a sticker for how great you are about setting up playdates? That's not hard. Nor is sitting with your child & reading to them. Putting them in daycare & leaving them with others is hard. Going to work 7-6 & picking up your child & going home and making time for them & doing housework & making dinner within a matter of an hour is hard. Sitting around all day with your one child & playing with them...not hard.
Clap clap for you! Now, figure out how to make YOUR life work for EVERYONE elses! Then post that, okay?
The article is one thing. Your judgment is another. The article is NOT a reason parents send their children to daycare & actually, why moms many times are so worn out due to all the worries & anxities that go into having your child in daycare.. And I can said that b/c I've HAD to do it. And for you?
And there is nothing new about the article other than another SAHM poster who wants to declare how her decisions are the only ones that matter.
Well I guess it is just a matter of opinion! I find it completely ignorant to state that SAHM's sit at home all day! You crack me up. That is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. It's not even worth it to explain any further.
By the way, I feel that BOTH SAHM's and working mom's have jobs just as difficult as the other's!
And yes, I HAVE had to do it. I work 4 ten hour shifts overnight at a nursing home each week just so I can be with my children during the day. Plus we just CAN'T afford daycare on my wages if I were to work during the day!
So yes, I don't expect it but if you'd like you CAN pat me on the back since I am a stay at home mom by day AND work full time in the evening. I am doing both.
No biggee though. My next thread will be a happy perfect thread that makes EVERYONE happy!
Location: In my own little corner... sittin' in Jax FL
589 posts, read 1,635,802 times
Reputation: 331
LOL No need to make everyone happy. However, I will say that you might've expected this response with your thread title. The SAHM / WOHM debate is never far from the forefront!
I always wanted to be a SAHM and wife. I did for a number of years. It just isn't where I am. I won't put that on anyone else's lifestyle.
Keep posting. Expect to be flamed lightly once in a while. I've btdt too!
I choose to parent my child myself along with my husband, family and close friends. I do not think that those that send their kids to daycare are NOT parenting, rather deciding to share that responsibility with others (as I do but not with daycare workers).
Unless one is with one's child 24/7, one is 'sharing' parenting duties as you say above.
I wouldn't have put my children in a childcare center where I didn't have a relationship with their teachers. I looked (and paid for) a place with low to zero turnover, and I keep in touch with them to this day (17 years later!).
I was in the "business" too for years and saw workers not following through on parents wishes. I also saw SAHM dropping their kids off for 9 hours a day 5 days a week!
How sad to have worked at a place like that! You are absolutely right- no one should 'share parenting' with emloyees who don't share their parenting ideas and goals.
How familiar are you with history? The past 50 years have been an aberration where the economy has permitted one parent to devote their full labor to child rearing. In the past, both parents were employed (usually in agrarian work) and children were raised by grandparents or extended family.
Well I guess it is just a matter of opinion! I find it completely ignorant to state that SAHM's sit at home all day! You crack me up. That is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. It's not even worth it to explain any further.
By the way, I feel that BOTH SAHM's and working mom's have jobs just as difficult as the other's!
And yes, I HAVE had to do it. I work 4 ten hour shifts overnight at a nursing home each week just so I can be with my children during the day. Plus we just CAN'T afford daycare on my wages if I were to work during the day!
So yes, I don't expect it but if you'd like you CAN pat me on the back since I am a stay at home mom by day AND work full time in the evening. I am doing both.
No biggee though. My next thread will be a happy perfect thread that makes EVERYONE happy!
Why apologize? No problem with opinionated posts, just be ready to argue right back- or not!
And yes, I HAVE had to do it. I work 4 ten hour shifts overnight at a nursing home each week just so I can be with my children during the day. Plus we just CAN'T afford daycare on my wages if I were to work during the day!
So you work all night, and then you're home with your kids all day. When do you sleep? Or do you sleep while you're at home with the kids? Goodness, couldn't that be...you know...dangerous to sleep while you're "watching" your kids?
I am a day care provider and I love it and have been doing it for 29 years now. May I just say that I am not out to "kill" anyone's children.
There are a lot of great day care providers out there that work very hard with both parents and their children and I personally still hear from the many children that have come through my doors.
I have always made people feel that this is a home away from home.
I agree that there are some really lousy day care centers and providers out there but we are not ALL bad people. There are also some really bad parents out there.
People should chose what it right for them, go with your gut instinct at all times when you are interviewing.
Just because you worked at a center does not mean they are all bad. I know of some incredible centers that work very hard with children.
Nobody ever talks about the good.
Well I guess it is just a matter of opinion! I find it completely ignorant to state that SAHM's sit at home all day! You crack me up. That is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. It's not even worth it to explain any further.
By the way, I feel that BOTH SAHM's and working mom's have jobs just as difficult as the other's!
And yes, I HAVE had to do it. I work 4 ten hour shifts overnight at a nursing home each week just so I can be with my children during the day. Plus we just CAN'T afford daycare on my wages if I were to work during the day!
So yes, I don't expect it but if you'd like you CAN pat me on the back since I am a stay at home mom by day AND work full time in the evening. I am doing both.
No biggee though. My next thread will be a happy perfect thread that makes EVERYONE happy!
Nope, b/c you are not doing anything special. It's a choice you are making & deserves no more or less praise than the millions of others who are doing the same thing & do not ask for praise nor need to remind everyone of how extraordinary they are.
No, you have not had to send your child in daycare so you don't know what it is like.
Please explain to me how single moms without family around can do what you do? Or single moms who work two jobs. Many are just doing what they do in order to survive & don't need "see, see, SEE how awful daycare is!!!".
Really, you think you are special. You are not. You're like everyone else.
What a shame to raise your child in a state of fear. If you want to live that way, fine. What a disservice to your child. And what happens when your daughter wants to go to school? Or go out with her friends when she is old enough? Or go away to college? Or drive? Is she going to be allowed to do ANY of this without you in the background? What if she wants to get an apt & lvie BY HERSELF? Wait, the bogeyman could get her! When they are little, to hinder them to the point of isolation based on every fear in the book does nothing for their development.
There are lots of reasons not to put your child in daycare. Most who put their children in daycare are not stupid & are well aware of things. But, in your world, it seems you think working moms haven't thought about this & drop off their kids without a second thought. Again, since you've never had to do this, you cannot even start to comprehend what some moms go throughwhen their children are in daycare . And for most, it's harder on the parents than the children.
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