U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-28-2009, 11:31 AM
 
516 posts, read 1,710,012 times
Reputation: 576

Advertisements

My son, in Kindergarten, just told me he recently received his first (and only so far) time out. According to him, it was because he didn't know an answer!

I dug deeper and I think what actually happened was that the teacher asked a question for which he did not know the answer. He was thinking about it but must have appeared, to the teacher, that he was ignoring her. The ironic thing is that she asked him the sound the letter "u" makes. If he had only said "uhhhh" while he was thinking, he would have gotten it correct!!

Is this something I should speak with the teacher about or should I just let it go. I don't want to become considered a "problem parent" and it's not really a big deal. I'm thinking I'll just keep asking my son about his day and occasionally ask him about time outs. If it happens again, I'll certainly ask about it. I really think it was just a misunderstanding. I explained to my son what I think happened and that, if it happens again, he should say "I'm thinking" or "I don't know" so the teacher doesn't think she's being ignored.

Any other advice?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-28-2009, 11:41 AM
 
2,005 posts, read 5,131,784 times
Reputation: 1447
I'd ask what happened. Often times, kids misinterpret what happened, but if your kid is right, then she should be called on it. Don't be confrontational, just say something like "oh, Johnny said he was in time out the other day, is he adjusting well to Kindergarten or is he a getting into trouble? How can we help him make his transition to K easier?" You know, that kind of stuff. You have a right to know why he was in time out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Maine
650 posts, read 1,929,003 times
Reputation: 553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shwa View Post
My son, in Kindergarten, just told me he recently received his first (and only so far) time out. According to him, it was because he didn't know an answer!

I dug deeper and I think what actually happened was that the teacher asked a question for which he did not know the answer. He was thinking about it but must have appeared, to the teacher, that he was ignoring her. The ironic thing is that she asked him the sound the letter "u" makes. If he had only said "uhhhh" while he was thinking, he would have gotten it correct!!

Is this something I should speak with the teacher about or should I just let it go. I don't want to become considered a "problem parent" and it's not really a big deal. I'm thinking I'll just keep asking my son about his day and occasionally ask him about time outs. If it happens again, I'll certainly ask about it. I really think it was just a misunderstanding. I explained to my son what I think happened and that, if it happens again, he should say "I'm thinking" or "I don't know" so the teacher doesn't think she's being ignored.

Any other advice?
I'd talk to the teacher to get the whole scoop and then take it from there. I can't imagine that he got a timeout for not knowing an answer, and your theory seems plausible, but not very acceptable. It isn;t teaching kids to wan to volunteer information if they are afraid to get a timeout if they are wrong!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 11:45 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,256,042 times
Reputation: 3177
From a teacher's standpoint (I am also a parent ), there is a lot of "fabrication" to stories that are told about school. 1/2 of the things your son will tell you about school are more "fluff" than substance & 1/2 the stuff your son tells the teacher about home is more "fluff" than substance. I told this to parents all the time & they also told this to me!

Use your intuition.

If your son continues to tell you he was put in time out & the teacher does not notify you, definitely talk to the teacher to see what is going on & if he truly is being placed in time out & for what reason, etc.

If he is acting like the boy you know, go with the flow of it all. If he appears upset or his mood changes, there is probably something that needs to be addressed.

I've yet to meet a teacher who puts a child in time out for not knowing an answer. A time out is not an effective technique for this ssues & in my school, we'd be explaining to the principal why we put a child in time out for this reason. If he refused to answer for some reason, again, time out doesn't do anything to resolve or help the issue.

Something probably did happen if he was indeed put in time out. The reasoning sounds a little suspicious But he's in kinder. He is probably trying to figure out how to explain to you what happened & if he was put in time out & it was not properly explained to him why he was, he may be thinking that not knowing the answer was the reason.

Again, 99% of parents know when to talk to the teacher & when to just let things naturally occur.

It's a teacher's responsibility to explain to the child why he/she was put in time out in manner they can comprehend. But teachers are not perfect & this teacher may not have done that or maybe she did! If it bugs you, just talk to her...most teachers appreciate parental communication on a regular basis....at least I did!

And what you told your son: perfect!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,848 posts, read 4,125,076 times
Reputation: 1195
What sound does "u" make? That is an innapropriate question to ask a kindergartner as the letter "u" can be short or long.

Anyway, as a former kinderaten teacher, I always had to give the kiddos the benefit of the doubt when it came to interrupting, ignoring or just being insulting towards me. That is because they are still learning how to act appropriately, and sometimes they don't know better.

For the teacher to simply assume that he was ignoring and not thinking, or perhaps simply did not hear her etc. is wrong. She missed the boat on a teachable moment. She could have taught your son and the whole class that it is acceptable to say, "please give me a moment, I am thinking" to another person.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,353 posts, read 20,632,395 times
Reputation: 20315
I would talk to the teacher for two reasons.

1. You want to see what actually happened, as kids often tell stories much different from what happened.

2. You want the teacher to be aware that your child thought that he was in time out for not knowing the answer. This helps the teacher know she needs to communicate differently with your son, make it clear to him why she is time out.

You are not a problem parent when you are expressing concern. I have found with teachers, they are much more intuned with my son if they know I am involved!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 03:17 PM
 
2,866 posts, read 6,271,932 times
Reputation: 5127
Let it go this time... Pace yourself. This will probably be the first of many things that your child comes home and tells you that don't make total sense. Sometimes information gets left out of these retellings and sometimes the child just didn't understand the entire situation.

If you see a trend, then you should get involved and find out from the teacher what is going on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
10,978 posts, read 14,652,373 times
Reputation: 11420
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinetreelover View Post
Let it go this time... Pace yourself. This will probably be the first of many things that your child comes home and tells you that don't make total sense. Sometimes information gets left out of these retellings and sometimes the child just didn't understand the entire situation.

If you see a trend, then you should get involved and find out from the teacher what is going on.
Agreed. Been there, done that. We'll discuss these little things at the Parent-Teacher nights. Usually a better way to communicate these little things that often are meaningless in the great scheme of things.

If it were a bigger problem or issue, I'm sure you would have had a note or something to that effect.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 03:27 PM
 
Location: North Texas
384 posts, read 851,544 times
Reputation: 256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shwa View Post
My son, in Kindergarten, just told me he recently received his first (and only so far) time out. According to him, it was because he didn't know an answer!

I dug deeper and I think what actually happened was that the teacher asked a question for which he did not know the answer. He was thinking about it but must have appeared, to the teacher, that he was ignoring her. The ironic thing is that she asked him the sound the letter "u" makes. If he had only said "uhhhh" while he was thinking, he would have gotten it correct!!

Is this something I should speak with the teacher about or should I just let it go. I don't want to become considered a "problem parent" and it's not really a big deal. I'm thinking I'll just keep asking my son about his day and occasionally ask him about time outs. If it happens again, I'll certainly ask about it. I really think it was just a misunderstanding. I explained to my son what I think happened and that, if it happens again, he should say "I'm thinking" or "I don't know" so the teacher doesn't think she's being ignored.

Any other advice?
Actually, by confronting this, you are not a "problem parent", but a concerned and active one. When my two boys were in school, we questioned any punishments and criticisms from any teachers and/or administrators. It's your child and your tax money that pays teachers/administrators salaries; always make them explain their actions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2009, 03:39 PM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,640,151 times
Reputation: 2241
If I were you, I would just email the teacher and just simply and nicely ask "my son told me that he was in time out today for not knowing an answer...I would just like to ask why a time out would be given for such a thing?"

I'm a teacher. It could be that you will find out that your son was playing around during a lesson and didn't know the answer because of that playing around, and then he was given a time out.

That might not be it.....but it's one of the things that could be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top