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Old 02-01-2009, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Niles, Michigan
1,692 posts, read 2,233,277 times
Reputation: 839
I don't know about sponsor that might give her things. If her story sounds like bad press then they may stay away to not get in the mix. What I do know is that the press and shows will take her on. Even to just find out what she was thinking. Look at the Governor of Illinos. What an idiot. Yet last week he went on a big press drive and everyone let him on. Its good TV. We are all talking about it hear and true we have concerns about the babies but find the MOther may not all be there..yet we are interested. They will cover her but sponsor who will give her stuff might not.
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Old 02-01-2009, 12:59 PM
 
396 posts, read 634,838 times
Reputation: 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by miasmommy View Post
I just checked out a couple of your previous comments (which I scolded someone for doing to me ) and it is obvious that you are quite the racist biggot. You mention "white is better" all over the place.

Why are there so many mean people on here????

I'm guilty of it sometimes too, but I what she meant (I think) is that yes, we have different opinions on here, but there are specific forums for "debates."

You forgot to mention that this person also cannot spell...
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:23 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 6,632,069 times
Reputation: 3114
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
My friend is married and white, and she was in her mid-20s when she was pregnant. Healthy. Good job. Money in the bank. Never saw it coming. To my knowledge, nobody ever begrudges her those tax dollars, probably because of all those things I mentioned.

This story is important merely because it was reported. If this woman only had twins instead of the eight, nobody would have cared.
Did your friend have 6 other children that she was supporting & using college loan money to feed them and decide to go on treatment that could bring into this world more multiples?

Was she aware that she was going to develop the condition that she did?

Was she living off of her parents?

Your example makes no sense other than you want to play the race/poverty game.

I could care less & so could so many people, if she WAS well to do & so on.

The race/poverty card doesn't play well here when thrown down.

This mother made a conscious choice to take this on.

And how glad I am that it was reported. People should not be cranking out 8 babies b/c they "wanted one more girl" or even as Jon & Kate Gosseling wanted "1 more".

Greed & self centeredness knows no color, race nor creed.
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:23 PM
 
733 posts, read 1,202,073 times
Reputation: 413
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Ah, thanks NoLoveLost! I forgot there were several threads on this going at once. I did post in the other one.

I have heard so many things about this story that I don't know what is true. Someone said that this woman may have been taking fertility drugs unsupervised? Or that she may have gone to Mexico for treatments. I agree that any doctor who knowingly did this should be sued, be disciplined, lose his or her license--whatever is appropriate in this case. Maybe some money can be obtained from it to be held in trust for the kids' care? I have no idea.

The mother does sound unstable, but I don't know if that's enough for CPS. What if the grandmother wants custody of her grandchildren? My parents would die before seeing my kids sent to live with God knows who.

I've been in the midst of abortion debates before, and a common argument is that the foster care system is broken and overcrowded (thus, unwanted children are better off never being born). I wonder how many people who say that are now saying that these 14 kids should be added to the system.

Maybe the reason this rankles so is because of the experience of a friend of mine. During her pregnancy, she developed toxemia, and her baby was born very prematurely. I can't remember how far along she was--it's been several years--but her daughter weighed less than two pounds at birth. You just wouldn't believe how tiny this baby was. She spent four or five months in the NICU, which was paid for by Medicaid, because my friend's insurance dropped her shortly after the birth. Her daughter's birth and subsequent care cost well over a million dollars, paid for by yours and my taxes, and this little girl will need special services for the rest of her life, that we also pay for. My friend is married and white, and she was in her mid-20s when she was pregnant. Healthy. Good job. Money in the bank. Never saw it coming. To my knowledge, nobody ever begrudges her those tax dollars, probably because of all those things I mentioned.

This story is important merely because it was reported. If this woman only had twins instead of the eight, nobody would have cared.
the difference between your friend and this woman was she wasn't being irresponsible. The reason why the government has these programs is to help those who do find themselves in unfortunate positions, not those who put *themselves* in this position.

Even if it were twins, it's what she did and how she did it that is so careless and ill conceived (no pun intended) and causing such an uproar. whether it is 1 or 8 it is still irresponsible......
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:24 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,795 posts, read 18,045,442 times
Reputation: 29092
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoLoveLost View Post
the difference between your friend and this woman was she wasn't being irresponsible. The reason why the government has these programs is to help those who do find themselves in unfortunate positions, not those who put *themselves* in this position.

Even if it were twins, it's what she did and how she did it that is so careless and ill conceived (no pun intended) and causing such an uproar. whether it is 1 or 8 it is still irresponsible......
Of course it's irresponsible. I'm agog over the whole thing. But my friend did put herself in that position, in a way. She got pregnant, and such things do happen. They're rare, but they do happen, and every woman takes a small risk. My friend didn't have enough money saved up to cover the cost of what happened. Maybe she could have paid extra for private insurance that would have taken the burden off of Medicare. I know all this is a stretch, but I am just very wary of attitudes from people who think that some kids deserve help and others don't. Those 14 children didn't do anything wrong.
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
1,113 posts, read 1,590,349 times
Reputation: 423
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Of course it's irresponsible. I'm agog over the whole thing. But my friend did put herself in that position, in a way. She got pregnant, and such things do happen. They're rare, but they do happen, and every woman takes a small risk. My friend didn't have enough money saved up to cover the cost of what happened. Maybe she could have paid extra for private insurance that would have taken the burden off of Medicare. I know all this is a stretch, but I am just very wary of attitudes from people who think that some kids deserve help and others don't. Those 14 children didn't do anything wrong.
I doubt any of us have a million dollars saved for situations such as your friends. It wasn't her fault that she developed toxemia or that her insurance dropped her. Sounds like she did the best she could with what she had. I wouldn't mind my tax dollars going for someone like this but not the current situation that this mother of 14 finds herself in. I agree with everyone else.....she needs a psych evaluation.

I don't think anyone has brought up the fact that her poor parents can't retire in peace now that they have to help with her brood. How selfish on her part.
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:46 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 22,679,309 times
Reputation: 5787
Let us say a family of 2 parents wants to adopt or be foster parents. Said couple only live in a 3 bedroom home. How many children would the state and CPS allow said couple to have all at one time? I'm pretty sure the number is WELL BELOW 14. This woman could not even rent an apartment LEGALLY large enough for the entire family. I have not seen too many 6-8 bedroom apartments. Some cities even dictate how many family members can live in ONE residence. She almost breaks all of them. One family MIGHT be able to adobt 8 or 6 of them but I HIGHLY doubt that there is a judge out there that would allow a family to adopt all eight. This family would most likely be REQUIRED to have enough space for all of the children (8 or 6). And that is a family that would have a STABLE MOTHER AND FATHER! Is this 3 bedroom home even large enough to have one room large enough to hold ALL EIGHT bassinets and cribs? I highly doubt it.


BTW, in one article the grandmother said she told her daughter she would be GONE by the time she got out of the hospital. How on earth is this woman that is mentally unstable going to be able to care for EIGHT BABIES and 6 young children? She won't be able to.


I'm betting after all of this BAD press and most in the media seeing everyones reactions to this womans story are going to stay away. She might be able to get on something like Jerry Springer.
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:48 PM
 
733 posts, read 1,202,073 times
Reputation: 413
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Of course it's irresponsible. I'm agog over the whole thing. But my friend did put herself in that position, in a way. She got pregnant, and such things do happen. They're rare, but they do happen, and every woman takes a small risk. My friend didn't have enough money saved up to cover the cost of what happened. Maybe she could have paid extra for private insurance that would have taken the burden off of Medicare. I know all this is a stretch, but I am just very wary of attitudes from people who think that some kids deserve help and others don't. Those 14 children didn't do anything wrong.
playing a little devils advocate eh? lol......

I don't think it's that the kids don't deserve care, more than anything they are the ones who are "victims" in this case. I whole heartedly think they DO need care, and I also think it should come from someone other than their mother.

I guess I don't see it that way with your friend. See, I didn't want children. My DH and are were military when we first got married, and I went to the military doctors (where we were covered) and said I wanted my tubes tied. You know what they told me??? They wouldn't do it unless I HAD KIDS...wtf??? I told them that I didn't want kids hence, the need for a tubal. Duh. They refused to do it.

well guess what? about a month later, On birth control pills, I got pregnant.

Now we were (and are) in a stable relationship and yeah, we were then (as we are now) capable of taking care of our kids, (though back then it was a strain) but unknown to both of us was that I am a carrier of Fragile X.

Nobody knew, and even going thru genetic counciling, they didn't think that we had anything to worry about. Now I am a mom of twin boys with both Fragile X and Autism. Did I plan it, ....no. Should I be punished for it...well, I don't think so.

We struggled for a while when they were younger, and we got help. When you are paying in excess of $500 a month in diapers, you get help. The military doesn't pay beans...lol

The medical expenses we would have incurred if not for the fact we were military were in the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS for medical care for our kids. I am just thankful that we WERE military and that we did have access to the medical services we had.

People who aren't in the military aren't going to be as lucky and being on medicaide or medicare, is nothing to be ashamed of. It is VERY expensive when you have a child with a disorder and most people cannot afford to do it on their own. But I can pretty much tell you none of them plan to have kids with disorders, and it would be surprising for everyone to prepare for it.

You also mentioned her insurance dropped her. well, that also becomes a big problem because the next insurance isn't going to cover something that they consider a "pre-existing" condition. so what else can she do???

That is what medicade and medicare ARE for. It isn't for people like this woman. She deliberately put herself in this position. She not only risked her health, but the health of her kids, and I wouldn't be surprised if more than one has a disorder. She already has one who is Autistic.

The children deserve better than her........

Last edited by NoLoveLost; 02-01-2009 at 03:33 PM..
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:30 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,795 posts, read 18,045,442 times
Reputation: 29092
I don't know how to quote multiple posts, but to the person who said that the mother may be violating occupancy laws in California ... you're right. I didn't even think about that. In Orange County (isn't that family in Huntington Beach?), the law is two people per bedroom plus one. For instance, a 3-bedroom house cannot legally house more than seven people. 14 kids + mom + grandparents = 17 people, so they need an 8-bedroom house. Wow.

The next part is to NoLoveLost.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoLoveLost View Post
playing a little devils advocate eh? lol......
Yes, a bit.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NoLoveLost View Post
I don't think it's that the kids don't deserve care, more than anything they are the ones who are "victims" in this case. I whole heartedly think they DO need care, and I also think it should come from someone other than their mother.
Probably. It seems so sad to move all those children away from one another, though. It's not like one family is going to adopt the lot. Well, maybe. When we retire (not for 20+ years yet), my husband wants to buy a ranch or farm and foster or adopt a bunch of kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoLoveLost View Post
I guess I don't see it that way with your friend. See, I didn't want children. My DH and are were military when we first got married, and I went to the military doctors (where we were covered) and said I wanted my tubes tied. You know what they told me??? They wouldn't do it unless I HAD KIDS...wtf??? I told them that I didn't want kids hence, the need for a tubal. Duh. They refused to do it.
I don't like to overdo the emoticons, so let me just say x 10.

About the rest of your post, my heart goes out to you and your family. I have ONE child who is autistic, and I can't imagine what life would be like with two. WOW. I hope you are all OK, and I wish you the best.
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:41 PM
 
733 posts, read 1,202,073 times
Reputation: 413
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
It seems so sad to move all those children away from one another, though. It's not like one family is going to adopt the lot. Well, maybe. When we retire (not for 20+ years yet), my husband wants to buy a ranch or farm and foster or adopt a bunch of kids.
yes, it does. I think it is sad that those kids are in the situation they are in.
You are one brave woman! You and your husband like a challenge eh??? I think it is great when caring people take interest like this. My best to you both


[quote=JustJulia;7276605]I don't like to overdo the emoticons, so let me just say x 10.

yeah, I felt the same way, but I do love my kids to death and they have taught me more than I could ever have imagined....

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
About the rest of your post, my heart goes out to you and your family. I have ONE child who is autistic, and I can't imagine what life would be like with two. WOW. I hope you are all OK, and I wish you the best.
Well, you understand the difficulties of having a child who needs lots and lots of "extras"...lol For me, I guess when it is all you know, you don't really have anything to compare it too....It's just "my world".....

we are good, and I hope everything it good with you too....you're a very nice woman Julia, it's been a pleasure
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