Registry for child's first birthday? (party, meal, baby, weigh)

[miasmommy]

Everyone (husband and I both have HUGE families, 100 people invited to party) has asked what to get my daugher for her birthday. We have a VERY small house, and I mean SMALL!!!! I'm very particular what my child plays with for that reason. Plus, I'd rather educational toys than mindless crapola! Quality over quanitity/size is my motto (and probably alot of parents)

I also thought to add to the "possible list" a pass to the local zoo or gift certificates to the gymboree, since she enjoys it so much but I can't afford it.

What are your thoughts on whether or not it is appropriate to register somewhere or make a list and send to the grandparents, especially since everyone has asked?

[cabolissa]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

Everyone (husband and I both have HUGE families, 100 people invited to party) has asked what to get my daugher for her birthday. We have a VERY small house, and I mean SMALL!!!! I'm very particular what my child plays with for that reason. Plus, I'd rather educational toys than mindless crapola! Quality over quanitity/size is my motto (and probably alot of parents)

I also thought to add to the "possible list" a pass to the local zoo or gift certificates to the gymboree, since she enjoys it so much but I can't afford it.

What are your thoughts on whether or not it is appropriate to register somewhere or make a list and send to the grandparents, especially since everyone has asked?

Personally, I'm not a fan of registries - it's presumptive. People have them for weddings, and baby showers, but other than that I find them very tacky - especially in this economy. If people ask, you can mention the space problem and say you LOVE a gift card to Target or your favorite store. If it's your parents, you can feel a little more open to discuss a pricey item such as an annual pass (can be hundreds of dollars). But if you receive "crapola" you should smile gratiously, thank them, and then exchange the item for more "quality" if you wish.

We took my parents on a family vacation with us to Mexico for my son's 1st birthday!

[JC JC Mom]

I never done a registry for a kid but I'm not entirely opposed to it.. what I have done in the past in to tell a couple of people what would be nice when they ask and give them lots of options... its good for you and them and in my family there is a "go-to" person know as my mom - LOL - I tell her and tell her to advertise... in such a way as "I know my daughter wanted to get her kid that - or I know the kid just loves going to gymboree" and in that way the word is being spread.

[stormy night]

Funny. It's all for the adults anyway, the kid won't even remember his first birthday. Why such a big deal? Say 'no gifts' and everybody have cake, ice cream and a good time.

[KH02]

Good point. On the invitation you could write something simple such as Join us for cake and ice cream, no need to bring gifts, and help us celebrate our sons first year of life.

Gifts aren't really necessary if you honestly don't need anything. Or maybe just have each person bring a favorite storybook from their childhood and build up your child's library...

[cabolissa]

Originally Posted by KH02

Good point. On the invitation you could write something simple such as Join us for cake and ice cream, no need to bring gifts, and help us celebrate our sons first year of life.

Gifts aren't really necessary if you honestly don't need anything. Or maybe just have each person bring a favorite storybook from their childhood and build up your child's library...

Problem is that the OP wants pricey quality gifts that she can't afford to gift herself. Maybe if she forwent the 100 person party, she could get the pass to the zoo?

[Marlow]

Glad you asked. I think registries for children are the epitome of bad manners and sets an awful precedent. Parties are celebrations--not gift grabs. I suggest you say either "no gifts" or "please bring a book which we will donate to the children's library in honor of dd's first birthday."

[121804]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

What are your thoughts on whether or not it is appropriate to register somewhere or make a list and send to the grandparents, especially since everyone has asked?

My SIL personally asked us for a 42" LCD tv for her wedding since she couldn't afford it....out of spite I sent her a $25 gift card to Target & no $$ was in the wedding card....she was being serious when she asked. I was being serious when I sent the gift card to her. It's a wedding, not a charity event. I appreciate the meal just as I appreciate pizza & birthday cake. Doesn't mean I should feel obligated to spend $100 on a person. (for the record, I have issues with my SIL Can you tell? Felt good to vent!)

I've absolutely never heard of registering a 1yr old for a bday party. I think that is completely outlandish, even if you have a family of 1,000 & every single person is coming & every single person asked what to bring.

Of course they are going to ask. It's out of politeness.

How many of them are asking to be polite when they may be in the very same economic situation you are?

I've always asked regardless if we have $1 or $100 in the checkbook.

If you have certain toys that you prefer & would prefer not to get certain thing, than I would be VERY specific on the invite such as above posters mentioned.

If you are having a very large party, I would even go as far as just telling everyone to forgo the gifts & just come celebrate the big day.

Your daughter is #1) never going to remember the party #2) 75% of the gifts she will outgrow in the next 24-36 months.

If you want her to get some gifts b/c of economic concerns on your end, then you just have to be open to getting what you get.

I've returned duplicate gifts & gifts that just are not used in our home (the Incredible Hulk punching hands for a 2yr old....) & used the gifts cards for diapers. It's appreciated.

I've asked my parents for very specific gifts for my sons that I would not feel comfortable asking relatives or friends. If you really think your daughter would enjoy something like Gymboree or Little Gym, maybe ask your parents. Asking such a large monetary gifts from other relatives is sort of rude.

[Pitt Chick]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

What are your thoughts on whether or not it is appropriate to register somewhere or make a list and send to the grandparents, especially since everyone has asked?

List is fine; registry is not.

Seriously, a party that large for a 1 year old is nuts. Don't be surprised of the child either sleeps through it all, or decides it is too much and melts down...

And if you ARE really picky, defer on all gifts. The child doesn't need much at that age. Zoo passes and the like can be done next year.

[colleeng47]

I'm going to have to weigh in with the majority on this issue. I've always made my kids BD parties a "no gifts please" affair. I know other parents appreciated not having to buy ANOTHER gift for their child's friends. I explained to my kids that having the BD party is their gift because they got to spend a fun time with their friends. We, of course, always got them something they really wanted, but otherwise, no presents. My immediate family would usually give them a card with money, which mom took to buy something worthwhile (clothes, books, a trip, etc.)