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My child has an axiety disorder ....I am sure of it. He just turned four. He starts out in his bed...and after an hour of getting out about 8 times he eventually falls asleep; HOWEVER, then he gets up about 15 times during the night. People say to put him back in his bed without talking but he does this over 15 times each night. (Yes, he may occasionally be sleep walking) This has been going on for 6 months (plus). He is terrified. Nothing but NOTHING is going to convince him to stay in his bed. Bribes don't work...rewards don't work. Punishing (removing priveledges) doesn't work. He will only sleep if he is next to someone...really touching them so that he knows they are there. If you get up...he will follow. If you move too far away from him in the bed...he will skoot closer. I am loosing it because my other child is Autistic. She has severe sleep problems, too but she takes medicine now. It knocks her out. I don't want to medicate him because I think he is fine (other than the sleep issue). I am desparate. Help!
The last week we tried letting him sleep in our bed DURING THE NIGHTIME scuffles (not the initial pre-sleeping stall tactics). But my husband and I aren't sleeping any better...my son snores too much and will have his head dug into your back.
Also, Can having tonsils removed really help some of these kids?
(They need to be removed because they are at a 4 or 4.5) but my husband is against that! I have heard some kids amazingly sleep once those things are gone...the apnea stops, too.
My child has an axiety disorder ....I am sure of it. He just turned four. He starts out in his bed...and after an hour of getting out about 8 times he eventually falls asleep; HOWEVER, then he gets up about 15 times during the night. People say to put him back in his bed without talking but he does this over 15 times each night. (Yes, he may occasionally be sleep walking) This has been going on for 6 months (plus). He is terrified. Nothing but NOTHING is going to convince him to stay in his bed. Bribes don't work...rewards don't work. Punishing (removing priveledges) doesn't work. He will only sleep if he is next to someone...really touching them so that he knows they are there. If you get up...he will follow. If you move too far away from him in the bed...he will skoot closer. I am loosing it because my other child is Autistic. She has severe sleep problems, too but she takes medicine now. It knocks her out. I don't want to medicate him because I think he is fine (other than the sleep issue). I am desparate. Help!
The last week we tried letting him sleep in our bed DURING THE NIGHTIME scuffles (not the initial pre-sleeping stall tactics). But my husband and I aren't sleeping any better...my son snores too much and will have his head dug into your back.
Also, Can having tonsils removed really help some of these kids?
(They need to be removed because they are at a 4 or 4.5) but my husband is against that! I have heard some kids amazingly sleep once those things are gone...the apnea stops, too.
The tonsils could be part of the problem. I am no expert, but young children usually do not snore. If your son snores loudly, maybe he is having brief episodes of apnea (a pause in his breathing) during the night. This could prevent him from getting into a deep sleep so he would not be getting the rest that he needs. It would seem to me this might contribute to the night time problems, having his sleep disrupted all night long may be very disorienting and cause him to panic.
I understand your husband's opposition to the tonsillectomy , no parent wants to think that their young child needs surgery. Would he consider talking with the pediatrician (or whoever recommended the tonsils be removed) and sharing his concerns? Also, does your pediatrician know about the sleep problems? Perhaps he or she could offer some advice. Six months is a long time to have both your sleep and your son's sleep disturbed all night long. Best of luck to you.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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This doesn't sound like a sleep disorder, it sounds like stress related. Does he go to daycare or anything where something stresses him out? Sounds like it's related to fear, but of what? I'd take him to the doctor and check it out. Must be very stressful for you, too. I hope you figure it out soon. Good luck to you.
I agree with andreabeth about the tonsils. My sister had tonsil troubles when she was around three. She had huge adnoids as well. She snored, she squirmed, she tossed and turned all night and occasionally would stop breathing (apnea) for a minute or so and wasn't getting really good sleep. She wasn't even doing a lot of growing at this time. Finally she had a T&A done and it was like night and day. She slept so much better, she had no more episodes of apnea and she actually started growing. She grew more in the three months that followed the T&A than she had in the year proceeding.
Your child is also possibly going through what my grandmother affectionately calls the "fearful" fours. She said that a lot of kids around this age seem to develop a fear of a lot of things and death is a main one. Even if the child has never really witnessed death in anyway, it still seems the thought of death starts to creep into their thoughts somehow, could be through something he saw on T.V. or heard from someone at school or elsewhere. Because kids this age can't process the meaning of death or the idea of we all go sometime it's more scary to them. Death is not the only thing that scares them. I think that kids this age are now realizing that the world is a huge place. Things that they never paid attention to at 2 and 3 are now being noticed and are now scary to someone so small. They are starting to see that mom and dad are much taller and bigger than they are, their house is more than one small room, buildings are enormous, cars are big and loud...etc. They feel so small and helpless against all of these things. They need assurances that they are safe and all is okay. Good news is, they do outgrow it and soon will be out exploring and braving their huge new world.
Maybe once you get his tonsils dealt with and he can sleep through the night more comfortably and much deeper, it will help as he won't be waking in the middle of the night feeling all alone and sacred in his newly discovered huge world. My husband is in his 40's and has sleep apnea and he has night terrors quite a bit. I think it is due to the lack of oxygen to his brian while he is sleeping. It may possibly be making his dreams more vivid and scarier.
Last edited by wyoquilter; 02-01-2009 at 09:11 AM..
Reason: Forgot to add the Good news aprt.
Thanks for the advice. My son's (and my autistic daughter's "anxiety" is a fear-type emotion. He is very fearful of being away from me. That is why I really need two hours to myself at night so that I can shower and do things without him right next to me. I think I may try him on some zoloft and see what happens. (My daughter takes that...she was always to afraid to go out in public or even ride in the car. All the sensory input was too much and she would freak out. The zoloft and her other med really helps.) So, I'll try him on it. I just hate to.
Thanks for your help!
Thank you so much for your response. I think we do need to tackle the tonsils and then see what happens. He does have apnea so I guess it would benefit him (if I can convince my hubby).
And, yes the fearful fours are Here. THanks for your input.
lhut
Please don't just start medicating your child with Zoloft (or any prescription drug) without a doctor's recommendation. First of all, if they are your daughter's prescription, you'll run out before you *should* and second of all, it may not be the proper dosage or medication for him.
Second, as others have suggested, please have him thoroughly checked out by his pediatrician and perhaps by a sleep specialist. In my opinion, it's always better to get some professional input rather than just guessing or speculating.
Please don't just start medicating your child with Zoloft (or any prescription drug) without a doctor's recommendation. First of all, if they are your daughter's prescription, you'll run out before you *should* and second of all, it may not be the proper dosage or medication for him.
Second, as others have suggested, please have him thoroughly checked out by his pediatrician and perhaps by a sleep specialist. In my opinion, it's always better to get some professional input rather than just guessing or speculating.
Ditto and you might want to consider an allergist/ENT. Sometimes asthma "shows up" as snoring.
Thank you so much for your response. I think we do need to tackle the tonsils and then see what happens. He does have apnea so I guess it would benefit him (if I can convince my hubby).
And, yes the fearful fours are Here. THanks for your input.
lhut
As someone else recommended, have your husband talk to the doctor who suggested doing the tonsilectomy. (sp?) Removing tonsils is an easy and safe surgery and has been done for so many years that doctors can probably do it with their eyes closed. (not that they would) Also have the subject of apnea brought up. Have him do research on it and let him see how apnea can be detrimental to a person. Some people have died due to apnea, some have to be on machines that set off alarms if they stop breathing. Tonsils may not be the only thing that needs to be removed. The adnoids may also need to be taken out as well. My sister's adnoids were so huge that they were closing her airway and were one of the reasons for her apnea.
If the tonsils have been infected and continue to become infected it is not doing the child any good and is only causing more potential health problems to the child. If the tonsils have not been infected, they may still need to be removed to help with the sleep disorder which is also a potential health problem. A person can live just fine without tonsils, but they can't if they are not getting enough air or are constantly sick with infections.
Your child is young and is more likely to recover from the surgery much quicker with no issues. The older someone is when tonsils are removed, the longer it takes to recover and more chance of complications. My sister bounced back in a day or two after surgery at age three. I was age 15 when I had mine removed and it took me almost two weeks and a lot of weight loss to recover. Same thing with a friend of mine who had her's removed around the same time I did.
Good Luck and I hope that your husband comes around to having the tonsils removed. If the doctor is recommending it needs to be done, then obviously there is a reason for it. Most doctors will not remove tonsils unless there is a real need for it.
What is a "day in the life" like for your son? Have you tried keeping him active so he is truly tired at night? Is he out running around getting fresh air? I suggest seeing an Ear Nose and Throat specialist.
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Best of luck to you.
