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How do you have any more of a clue about this than any of the rest of us? Just curious?
A Criminal Justice degree (having done my undergraduate research on Megan's Law), for starters. A lack of unwarranted faith in common American cultural assumptions about power and sexuality and right and wrong, for another. A very high IQ, for a third.
djacques isn't saying it's ok, just pointing out that kids at the age of 16 are likely to have sex anyway. Boys that age are hot machines and some will have sex with anybody who will allow. Girls that age are coming into their own sexually and will solicit (not as in prostitution in most cases) sex with men they find attractive and agreeable whether he is 18 or 30.
Sorry, I have to clarify again: at 16 I do think it's ok, as long as they are safe and responsible. When I denied thinking it was "ok" I was still thinking of pedophilia, not teen sex. I think it's blatantly false to label pedophiles psychopaths or violent attackers or fiends, but acting on pedophilic impulses is not ok.
djacques isn't saying it's ok, just pointing out that kids at the age of 16 are likely to have sex anyway. Boys that age are hot machines and some will have sex with anybody who will allow. Girls that age are coming into their own sexually and will solicit (not as in prostitution in most cases) sex with men they find attractive and agreeable whether he is 18 or 30.
I agree that 16 year olds are likely to have sex anyway. My point is simply that the maturity difference between 16 and 30 makes it not OK and that most 16 year olds will not choose the 30 year old over someone their own age. A 30 year old should know better IMO.
The 18 year old is a different story because they are more at the same level as the 16 year old. There's not a significant power difference.
The 16 year old may be doing the soliciting but if they become involved with a 30 year old are MUCH more likely to be taken advantage of and coerced than with the 18 year old.
I'm not changing what I said about the paranoia/obsession and the fact that a CHILD being sexually abused is more likely to be a family member (for this, I'm not counting a 16 yo as a child). Personally, if we have to have a "sex offender list", even though I think statutory rape cases (like 16 and 30) should be crimes, we should NOT include those on the list and limit it to pedophiles/violent offenders. But, something needs to be available to protect 16 year olds from being taken advantage of like that. A pedophile and someone who is attracted to a 16 year old are very different...but a 16 year old is still not an adult.
Sorry, I have to clarify again: at 16 I do think it's ok, as long as they are safe and responsible. When I denied thinking it was "ok" I was still thinking of pedophilia, not teen sex. I think it's blatantly false to label pedophiles psychopaths or violent attackers or fiends, but acting on pedophilic impulses is not ok.
16 year old kids shouldn't have sex. Period. An adult attracted to a 16 yo isn't a pedophile...but it's still wrong for them to act on that attraction for the reasons I've stated. And a 16 yo shouldn't even have sex with others their own age.
Sorry, I have to clarify again: at 16 I do think it's ok, as long as they are safe and responsible. When I denied thinking it was "ok" I was still thinking of pedophilia, not teen sex. I think it's blatantly false to label pedophiles psychopaths or violent attackers or fiends, but acting on pedophilic impulses is not ok.
I understand, but don't agree with it being ok for a 16 year old to have sex. It changes the emotional stability of a girl that age and changes the way she looks at the world and relationships within that world.
Boys are a different story, impulse usually over-rides sense at a time like that. But the fear of becoming a father at that age is more than I could take.
16 year old kids shouldn't have sex. Period. An adult attracted to a 16 yo isn't a pedophile...but it's still wrong for them to act on that attraction for the reasons I've stated. And a 16 yo shouldn't even have sex with others their own age.
OK, we'll agree to disagree on that. We still agree 97%.
I understand, but don't agree with it being ok for a 16 year old to have sex. It changes the emotional stability of a girl that age and changes the way she looks at the world and relationships within that world.
Changes it? Yes, although I don't for a moment believe the change must be for the worse. It might be disillusioning, it might lower expectations, but that's a part and parcel of becoming mature.
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Boys are a different story, impulse usually over-rides sense at a time like that. But the fear of becoming a father at that age is more than I could take.
Note that I qualified it with "safe and responsible"...we're not talking about rainbow parties here (although those would at least rule out the risk of fatherhood)
Changes it? Yes, although I don't for a moment believe the change must be for the worse. It might be disillusioning, it might lower expectations, but that's a part and parcel of becoming mature.
Note that I qualified it with "safe and responsible"...we're not talking about rainbow parties here (although those would at least rule out the risk of fatherhood)
Ummmmm.....the change could have a significant impact on a kid as young as 16 who is too young to know better. The point is that the manipulation possible by someone older is too great.
As far as why they shouldn't have sex with others their own age, it's because there ARE risks. They are not ready to handle the potential consequences of sex and protection is not 100% effective. There's also the emotional issues. A 16 year old who is in a sexual relationship is more likely to become obsessed/too attached with his/her partner and not be able to handle a break up well. A 16 year old is also not mature enough to really know when to end a relationship.
There are endless reasons and I could go on and on but....hey why don't you just wait until you have a 16 year old daughter and she brings home her 30 year old boyfriend and see how you feel then?
I'm going to restate clearly that I do NOT feel that people should be paranoid or obsessive about "sex offenders." That said I do NOT approve of people committing sex offenses, including those involving 16 year olds.
Last edited by afoigrokerkok; 02-09-2009 at 07:44 AM..
Ummmmm.....the change could have a significant impact on a kid as young as 16 who is too young to know better. The point is that the manipulation possible by someone older is too great.
As far as why they shouldn't have sex with others their own age, it's because there ARE risks. They are not ready to handle the potential consequences of sex and protection is not 100% effective. There's also the emotional issues. A 16 year old who is in a sexual relationship is more likely to become obsessed/too attached with his/her partner and not be able to handle a break up well. A 16 year old is also not mature enough to really know when to end a relationship.
There are endless reasons and I could go on and on but....hey why don't you just wait until you have a 16 year old daughter and she brings home her 30 year old boyfriend and see how you feel then?
I'm going to restate clearly that I do NOT feel that people should be paranoid or obsessive about "sex offenders." That said I do NOT approve of people committing sex offenses, including those involving 16 year olds.
I agree with almost all of your points and posts. There are reasons for statutory rape laws. I would go CRAZY if my 16 yr old daughter came home with a boy much older than her. An 18y/o boyfriend? That would be ok as long as he is a decent guy. A 30y/o would be run out of the house and scared for his life!!
I also agree that the S.O. registry should be much more specific. The one in my area gives the age range of the child and whether the "attack" was violent, a weapon was used, ect. So I can see if the S.O. was a threat or just got caught with his girlfriend who was underage.
I DO NOT think it is ok for 16 year old to be having sex, but the fact is that most of them are these days.
I also think parents need to use the information from these lists, but keep things in perspective, just like everything else. Your child can get hurt riding a bike, but you shouldn't ban them from riding one, you just make them be careful and wear a helmet. There are dangers everywhere for children, but we have to let them enjoy their childhood.
I agree with almost all of your points and posts. There are reasons for statutory rape laws. I would go CRAZY if my 16 yr old daughter came home with a boy much older than her. An 18y/o boyfriend? That would be ok as long as he is a decent guy. A 30y/o would be run out of the house and scared for his life!!
I also agree that the S.O. registry should be much more specific. The one in my area gives the age range of the child and whether the "attack" was violent, a weapon was used, ect. So I can see if the S.O. was a threat or just got caught with his girlfriend who was underage.
I DO NOT think it is ok for 16 year old to be having sex, but the fact is that most of them are these days.
I also think parents need to use the information from these lists, but keep things in perspective, just like everything else. Your child can get hurt riding a bike, but you shouldn't ban them from riding one, you just make them be careful and wear a helmet. There are dangers everywhere for children, but we have to let them enjoy their childhood.
Yes my points exactly.
As far as the 18 yo and 30 yo being different, that's very true. Many 18 year olds are still in high school (and would therefore still live with their parents and basically be "kids") and almost all would be no more than one year out of high school....which is where the 16 year old and 18 year old would have most likely met. That's drastically different than the 30 year old. Also, in my state (and I'm sure in many others), it is a serious crime for a 30 year old to have sex with a 16 year old but not a crime at all for an 18 year old to have sex with a 16 year old.
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