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Old 02-08-2009, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,975 posts, read 16,430,439 times
Reputation: 4586

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric04 View Post
Loved your quote Miasmommy, "once an offender, always an offender".How very true! I recently talked with an RSO, who is in his 50's. He molested a girl who is only 7 yrs old, and he is a level 3 offender. He got very beligerant with me, using the cop-out that everyone makes mistakes, and we should forget what he did. Even tho he started molesting when he was in his young teens. The only mistake he made was touching a girl, that was brave enough to step foward, otherwise he would still be doing this. I am positive his name will be in the paper again for molesting, and maybe this time they will put him away for good.
I'm not sure if there's any cure. But I'd think if there's any hope at all of one...it would need to be done EARLY. If he started in his young teens, maybe something could have been done to help him so that the future offenses would be prevented.

I'm 98% sure though that he knew this girl/her family more personally or that she was a family member and that she was not a random stranger.

 
Old 02-08-2009, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,975 posts, read 16,430,439 times
Reputation: 4586
Quote:
Originally Posted by miasmommy View Post
Then why must they register???? If they are thought to do no harm why register? Why let everyone know that they are living in your neighborhoods? BECAUSE THEY ARE PROBABLY UNSAFE!!!!

Even if it was a 18 year old sleeping with a 16 year old it is against the law somewhere! Even if some believe the law to be wrong, you have to follow them.
I wouldn't want my 16 year old (or my 18 year old for that matter) to be having sex with ANYONE...but I wouldn't be more concerned about my 16 yo having sex with an 18 yo than if it was with another 16 yo. In MOST states though....18 and 16 is not a crime...contrary to what many people believe.

Also...your theory about they have to register because it's against the law...well speeding, running red lights, etc. is against the law too. Would you like to see a "traffic offender's list"?

Last edited by afoigrokerkok; 02-08-2009 at 10:16 AM..
 
Old 02-08-2009, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Chicago 'burbs'
1,022 posts, read 3,366,570 times
Reputation: 763
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I'm against paranoia...but I think DO parents need to be aware of who the bad guys are. The points are:

1. Some "sex offenders" on your coveted list are not the type you should really be so afraid of.

2. The statistics speak for themselves...it's rarely a stranger who does these terrible things to a child.

3. There are MANY things to worry about other than just sex offenses.

4. The risk of harming your children by being paranoid and overprotective is much greater than the risk of them actually being hurt by one of these people.
These are all good points. I agree with all of them. My children live a very full life of bike riding, going to the park, playing in the neighborhood, ect. I am not following them around waiting for someone to "get" them, but I am a somewhat protective parent. My kids live and enjoy life, but I am not oblivious to the world around us and I teach them to be aware, too. Mostly to TRUST THEIR GUT and when something doesn't seem right they need to tell me about it.

Also, I think that there are people other than sex offenders we need to be aware of. If you choose, you can go to the courthouse and look up the criminal record of anyone. I personally don't do this, but I might in the future if I felt there was a reason to! The information is there if you feel the need to know if your neighbor ever had a DUI, beat his wife, or even has had speeding tickets..... How far do you want to go??
 
Old 02-08-2009, 10:31 AM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 4,223,320 times
Reputation: 1077
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I wouldn't want my 16 year old (or my 18 year old for that matter) to be having sex with ANYONE...but I wouldn't be more concerned about my 16 yo having sex with an 18 yo than if it was with another 16 yo. In MOST states though....18 and 16 is not a crime...contrary to what many people believe.

Also...your theory about they have to register because it's against the law...well speeding, running red lights, etc. is against the law too. Would you like to see a "traffic offender's list"?

What are you talking about????
I NEVER said I wanted anyone to have sex. Comprehension is such an issue around here!! Geeez.

I mean that whether or not a law is "worthy" it is a law and must be followed. I NEVER said that the 16/18 law existed MANY places only that it DOES exist in some states. And if it is a law and you break it, you have to suffer the consequences. The person makes the choice to not wait the one year to have sex until the other person is "legal."

And what theory did I mention???

No one is talking about traffic laws. Stick to the subject. This is to protect people against preditors and people that can't keep the pants on until the other person is "legal." Right or wrong, laws exist.
 
Old 02-08-2009, 10:34 AM
 
Location: chicagoland
1,636 posts, read 4,223,320 times
Reputation: 1077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cav Scout wife View Post
Not everyone that is on the list is a child molester!!!!!

Should a teenage boy be harassed for LIFE cause he F'ed his 16yr old girlfriend!? HELL no!!!

Should someone be harassed for life cause they were drunk and mooned someone or pee'd in public?! HELL no!!!

Should someone be harassed for life cause they worked in a strip club and their club got raided (even if they did NOTHING legally wrong!)?! Hell no!!!

Not all sexual offender cases are cut and dry.
You are right. But they DO put on the register what kind of crime it was. They DO mention if it had to do with children or not and what the age of the victim was AND the offender.
 
Old 02-08-2009, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,975 posts, read 16,430,439 times
Reputation: 4586
Quote:
Originally Posted by miasmommy View Post
What are you talking about????
I NEVER said I wanted anyone to have sex. Comprehension is such an issue around here!! Geeez.
No but you implied that an 18 year old having sex with a 16 year old is a "predator" when you said they should be on the sex offender list. I was simply pointing out that I don't know why that's worse than a 16 yo having sex with another 16 yo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miasmommy View Post
I mean that whether or not a law is "worthy" it is a law and must be followed. I NEVER said that the 16/18 law existed MANY places only that it DOES exist in some states. And if it is a law and you break it, you have to suffer the consequences. The person makes the choice to not wait the one year to have sex until the other person is "legal."

And what theory did I mention???

No one is talking about traffic laws. Stick to the subject. This is to protect people against preditors and people that can't keep the pants on until the other person is "legal." Right or wrong, laws exist.
I wasn't talking about the LAW....I was talking about the SEX OFFENDER'S LIST. You even said yourself "to protect people against people that can't keep the pants on until the other person is legal." You said "predators" right next to that. The point of the registry is to protect against predators. There is a BIG difference between a predator and someone who "can't keep the pants on until the other person is legal." Your statement is that if they both belong on the registry....EVEN THOUGH YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

The reason I mentioned traffic laws is....again.....YOU said they belong on the registry simply because it's illegal when an 18 year old with a 16 year old is NOT predatory....there's a VERY different psychological issue there than with a child molestor. 1st one is a normal teenager, 2nd one is a predator. That's why I brought up the point that if you think they should be on there JUST because it's illegal, then you should think that ANYONE who does ANYTHING illegal should be on some registry and be branded with a scarlet letter and obsessed over by everyone who thinks it will help keep their children "safe."

I realize that my post may be harsh and I'm NOT trying to disrespect you. But consider your logic...
 
Old 02-08-2009, 11:20 AM
 
2,027 posts, read 4,202,217 times
Reputation: 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by miasmommy View Post
You are right. But they DO put on the register what kind of crime it was. They DO mention if it had to do with children or not and what the age of the victim was AND the offender.
Not in all cases. When I searched in my hometown in California, a majority of the offenders didn't have a listing next to the exact nature of the crime, what age the victim was, and what age they were. So it would be almost impossible to know until the database is updated.
 
Old 02-08-2009, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,975 posts, read 16,430,439 times
Reputation: 4586
Quote:
Originally Posted by treeg26 View Post
These are all good points. I agree with all of them. My children live a very full life of bike riding, going to the park, playing in the neighborhood, ect. I am not following them around waiting for someone to "get" them, but I am a somewhat protective parent. My kids live and enjoy life, but I am not oblivious to the world around us and I teach them to be aware, too. Mostly to TRUST THEIR GUT and when something doesn't seem right they need to tell me about it.
I'm glad that your kids get to go outside and be kids. Many parents nowadays think that's too "dangerous." Good for you for allowing that!

I never said being somewhat protective is a bad thing....it is a parent's responsibility in fact to be protective. I said being paranoid and overprotective is a bad thing. I also said that reading the list is OK and being aware is a GOOD thing...you just shouldn't let it run your life.

I'm very glad that you're trying to teach your kids to be aware and protect themselves.
 
Old 02-08-2009, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Chicago 'burbs'
1,022 posts, read 3,366,570 times
Reputation: 763
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I'm glad that your kids get to go outside and be kids. Many parents nowadays think that's too "dangerous." Good for you for allowing that!

I never said being somewhat protective is a bad thing....it is a parent's responsibility in fact to be protective. I said being paranoid and overprotective is a bad thing. I also said that reading the list is OK and being aware is a GOOD thing...you just shouldn't let it run your life.
I think we understand eachother. I do know a woman that doesn't allow her children to play in the front yard (ages 11,9,7) to even play in the front yard unless she is out with them because she is too worried about what "could" happen to them. I think this is a little overboard, but they are her kids, so she can do what she feels is best. I do worry about my kids, but I also realize that I need to allow them to be kids and enjoy their childhood. That is why I teach them the rules and give them tools to keep themselves safe.
 
Old 02-08-2009, 12:03 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 4,059,543 times
Reputation: 1343
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I'd also STRONGLY support changing the sex offender "list" to include only offenders who molested or kidnapped children under the age of say 13 or 14 or who forcibly raped a person of any age. No public indecency, public urination, statutory rape, etc. I don't necessarily have a problem with the list include people with public indecency offenses that involved them exposing themselves to CHILDREN. I also wouldn't have a problem really if the list only included statutory rape offenders if they were say a minimum 6 or 7 years older than the child. (I'm not saying that statutory rape shouldn't be a crime at all..just saying that we need to determine who is the worst of the worst and limit the "list" to those)

I also don't understand WHY we have "sex offender lists" but not "murderer lists" or "drug dealer lists" or "child abuse lists" (I mean physical abuse that isn't sexual). I get the fact that sex offenses are viewed differently than these offenses and I understand that it's just different and the "perversion" factor exists that doesn't exist with other crimes. But you HAVE to realize there are TONS of other bad things that can happen too. People also have to realize that even with ALL the bad things that can happen...it is not worth letting it run your life. The consequences of that can be VERY severe too.
These are good thoughts. The highlighted sentence puzzles me as well. Would people rather live near a convicted murderer or drug dealer? Would they rather allow their kids to play with kids whose parent has been convicted of child abuse?

I think the reason people focus so intently on sex offenders is that the registries DO exist. That just plain makes them (SOs) more evil.

Drug offenses are what scare the crap out of me. There is a young man in our area. He was a senior last year and a star on the local high school basketball team. He sold drugs to kids at parties for a long time before he was caught. He went to court, the judge slapped his hand and he was allowed to continue to play basketball. He was caught AGAIN and again, they slapped his hand and released him to the custody of HIS GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS to live with them. He offended AGAIN and is now looking at jail time.

My point: How many lives did he touch in the time between his first conviction and his last? Who picked up his 'torch' when he was finally forced to lay it down?

You see, with sex offenders, the offensive behavior is contained in that person, but with a drug dealer, there are many, many people involved from very powerful down to the seller on the street. What makes drugs more frightful is the fact that there are millions of dollars involved, not just a fettish; GREED, guns, death.

Be as paranoid as you want, but there a lot of other things I would worry about more.
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