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Old 07-12-2017, 04:47 PM
 
30 posts, read 28,075 times
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Hopefully someone can help with a problem that our school district has been unwilling to address. It involves our 11 year old son.

We live on a peninsula at the edge of our school district in a suburban area. It's a union high school district where several little communities like ours go to the same schools. The lower school is K-3, then middle is 4-8.

Last year was my son's first year in the middle school, in grade 4. On the first day of this new school, the bus that showed up at the end of the driveway, was not a regular full-sized school bus, but a short mini-type school bus. I greeted the driver, who, to my surprise, told me that my son was the ONLY child on this entire route! I was thrilled at the thought, since my son is on the quieter side and doesn't like rowdy children, so he could ride in peace and quiet!

Well my version wasn't the same as his. From what I learned, in this district, all the buses are full sized buses. Except for the developmentally slow kids who are put on the smaller buses so they aren't bullied by kids on the regular routes. So on the first day of school when my son showed up on the short bus, he was called a retard! My son, was devastated. One little bully told my son he was even "extra retarded" because he had to ride alone on his own bus. Not just retarded, but extra retarded!

Now I know that kids can be mean, but the extra retarded comment, was below the belt. It got even worse than that. Our son stopped being invited to events with other children. Why? Because the children told their parents that he was "special" and he got his own bus. So now the parents think that something's wrong with him too, even parents we knew before. And it's because of this g-d bus! Why are kids so mean and why are parents so stupid?

We asked the district to change the bus, but they refused to send a full sized bus, or to send the bus from an adjacent route. The most they offered was for us to drive him to school (like we never thought of that). But that's not possible most of the time.

The whole thing came to the boiling point last May, at the school's open house. I was having a conversation with another parent, and a different parent (who I know from local social circles and she is a meddling little b....), came over and politely interrupted our conversation, then with a fake smile, pretended to be concerned about my son.

She said, "I was really worried because [her son's name] and [my son's name] used to play together. Then I heard that something had... happened to him." That's just how she said it. Something had... happened.

I asked what the heck gave her that idea, and she came back with another fake smile and said, "Well [her son] said that he has to take his own bus to school this year. I heard that he had some... problems. I know it must be difficult for you." I walked away instead of telling her what I really thought, but found out from other people in the community, that she told them the same thing!

I resisted my urge to let her have it, but that was it for me! Because, this little witch is the town crier, so she had told other parents the same thing!!! I still haven't figured out what to do with that rancid little b---- but when I do, she'll know it!

But back to my son. For the upcoming year, we demanded that the district either sent a full sized bus or sent a private car. They said they could not send a car because of FMSS or CMVSS-something and that they were permitted to send any vehicle from the bus service to pick him up! So my son is going to have to endure another year riding a minibus and getting bullied for it. On top of that the kids spread the rumor to the parents who make it worse! My son isn't invited to anything, he hardly has any friends, and we are sure that it's because the school wrecked his reputation by making him ride on the "slow" bus that carries a certain stigma!

Am I just out of line here or is my frustration at this situation justified? We don't want to threaten legal action, but this has been a terrible experience for all of us, and my DS is depressed to start the new school year. What would you do? Driving him every day is out of the question.

 
Old 07-12-2017, 04:53 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,733,345 times
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If driving him every day is out of the question, learn to ignore the gossips and tell your son to laugh at the bullies. Otherwise, rearrange your schedule and drive him to school, or let him ride a bicycle to school if the route is safe enough, and just drive him on bad weather days.
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:06 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,817,888 times
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Hummmm....welcome to CD
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:14 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,032,822 times
Reputation: 32726
Ya, welcome....

It would be ridiculous for the district to send a large bus for 1 child. I think I might let the teacher know what's going on, and have her talk to the class, and send an-e-mail to the parents explaining. I would probably also put it out there on social media. You know how that stuff spreads.

PS, be glad they even send a bus for your son. my district would probably cancel it or make you pay for it.
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,168 posts, read 8,461,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schoolbus123 View Post
Hopefully someone can help with a problem that our school district has been unwilling to address. It involves our 11 year old son.
<>
I am so sad to hear this story. My kids rode "the short bus" for years because we lived far out of town and they attended the downtown parochial school. There were about 10 riders altogether. We used the term as a joke and I never realized it could be hurtful.
"I feel stupid now"
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:45 PM
 
30 posts, read 28,075 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashj007 View Post
I am so sad to hear this story. My kids rode "the short bus" for years because we lived far out of town and they attended the downtown parochial school. There were about 10 riders altogether. We used the term as a joke and I never realized it could be hurtful.
"I feel stupid now"
I don't think that's hurtful. The thing that makes this a special situation, is that there is only one Rider on this bus, and in combination with that, it's also the short bus. So in this case, there are no other kids, so it makes him an easy Target. If there were 10 other kids, or even two others, then they could make fun of their business together and everyone would think it was a joke and move on. But with one rider... Big trouble. Plus that one mom has a bully of a kid and she's a loudmouthed b---- so she fuels the fire. And my son is quieter, so he's an easier Target.
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:46 PM
 
6,293 posts, read 10,536,542 times
Reputation: 7504
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Ya, welcome....

It would be ridiculous for the district to send a large bus for 1 child. I think I might let the teacher know what's going on, and have her talk to the class, and send an-e-mail to the parents explaining. I would probably also put it out there on social media. You know how that stuff spreads.

PS, be glad they even send a bus for your son. my district would probably cancel it or make you pay for it.
I agree, it would be ridiculous to send a large bus for 1 child. Maybe the mom could drive him to another bus stop if not all the way to school. I, however, wouldn't ask the teacher to send out an email. It's not the teacher's job and it could cause larger issues. Best bet is to teach the child to stand up and advocate for himself.
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:48 PM
 
30 posts, read 28,075 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
If driving him every day is out of the question, learn to ignore the gossips and tell your son to laugh at the bullies. Otherwise, rearrange your schedule and drive him to school, or let him ride a bicycle to school if the route is safe enough, and just drive him on bad weather days.
Thank you. We're working on the bullying, but it's really slow going. Plus, my son is of the quieter type, so it makes him a lot easier of a Target than kids who would stand up for themselves more easily.

I did want to thank you, for the good suggestions about transportation. Unfortunately, the school is 7 miles away because of the way the land goes around the water here, and it makes it pretty much impossible for him to ride his bike.
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:50 PM
 
772 posts, read 1,052,573 times
Reputation: 985
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Ya, welcome....

It would be ridiculous for the district to send a large bus for 1 child. I think I might let the teacher know what's going on, and have her talk to the class, and send an-e-mail to the parents explaining. I would probably also put it out there on social media. You know how that stuff spreads.

PS, be glad they even send a bus for your son. my district would probably cancel it or make you pay for it.
Sad for the child but why would the school district take on extra expenses just to make you could feel better. I'm also not sure why you as the mother didn't speak up especially when the had the opportunity. You could have explained to the woman at the open house the actual situation instead of walking away as you said and playing the victim. Fight for your child. And then if you can't handle the school bus, find a way to get your child to school.

By the way, you must live in a very weird place that even the people that knew you guys before, even the kids that your child went to elementary school with are suddenly ignoring him just because of a bus. Sorry, something just doesn't sound right to me about this.
 
Old 07-12-2017, 05:51 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,032,822 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spazkat9696 View Post
I agree, it would be ridiculous to send a large bus for 1 child. Maybe the mom could drive him to another bus stop if not all the way to school. I, however, wouldn't ask the teacher to send out an email. It's not the teacher's job and it could cause larger issues. Best bet is to teach the child to stand up and advocate for himself.
If the kid is getting bullied at school, it is absolutely the school's job (probably the principal) to do something about it. It is a perfect teachable moment about not making assumptions, and not bullying someone who is perceived as different. It is the perfect opportunity to show how assumptions can be wrong.
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