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I just wanted to know if you cannot afford children why do you have them. Why do you have them if you do not have time or room or energy for them? Maybe this is a stupid question of me since I don't have children I would like ten more dogs but since I don't have the energy room or what not for them I won't be getting ten more dogs...just curious
Most people are not that smart. They think with emotions not brains. It is one of those "God Given Right" things.
I stopped at two when I knew that was all I could afford..and sometimes that is a stretch.
I just wanted to know if you cannot afford children why do you have them. Why do you have them if you do not have time or room or energy for them? Maybe this is a stupid question of me since I don't have children I would like ten more dogs but since I don't have the energy room or what not for them I won't be getting ten more dogs...just curious
I would like a bigger house & bigger car, but we can't afford it. We could get a car loan & we could get a larger mortgage...but over LONG term, we just don't have a forecast of how strong our finances will be, so we make due with what we have & appreciate even having what we do.
I would love to have a 3rd child, but emotional, mentally, and financially...we are just not in the position at this time to take on the responsibility nor is it fair to that baby.
Just like dogs, humans have sex & become pregnant without that being the "intention" per se. Instant gratification without thought or preparation for the consequences. Happens every day. Thousands of babies are born without their parents being completely prepared in MANY areas....
A few, like Naydia Suleman, have mental issues & having babies is how she is dealing with the issues.
Having all your ducks in perfect order prior to childbirth is impossible.
The current situation with Ms Suleman is extremely rare yet speaks very loudly of the concerns over IVF regulation & mental health concerns.
To purposely continue to bring children into this world without any income, any support, any employment, no plan whatsoever...and to keep up this cycle for years knowing full well what you are doing? It's not right. But it's a free country. She did it. And the children will pay the ultimate price. But, THEY can make it if the right people enter their lives & their mother gets help.
There are millions of babies born into this world with a silver spoon who become rapists, killers, drug addicts, social dropouts, the list can continue...
There are millions of babies born into this world in the worst possible situation and become world reknown & reach levels of incredible success.
It costs money to raise a child but it is not the only thing that raises a child.
Those who have "surprise" pregnancies or even get pregnant to keep a relationship going or to fill a personal need and have no means of supporting the children..they have to figure it out. And many of them, like the woman in CA, rely on the government, family, friends, church & donations.
It is impossible to plan for 100% perfection prior to birth. Doesn't happen. Life doesn't work that way.
And most healthy, normal woman stop having children not b/c they don't want to have more, but b/c they don't have the money or time or emotional level necessary to take on another child & know that it is not fair to the child.
That is the difference with Nayda Suleman and healthy woman. She was not thinking about the children...she was thinking about herself...she is not alone...issue was she brought into this world 8 babies through a method that could have killed her or premantently damaged her children. And she went on tv expecting everyone to bow down to her... Had she kept a low profile, showed some respect, responsibility & appreciation...she would have been received differently. But woman like her don't care what you or I think...
There would be more children than people if everyone had enough money, time and emotion.
Last edited by 121804; 02-15-2009 at 03:08 PM..
Reason: complete post
Well, just like dogs, humans have sex & become pregnant without that being the "intention" per se.
MOST people have common sense.
A few, like Naydia Suleman, have mental issues & having babies is how she is dealing with the issues.
Having all your ducks in perfect order prior to childbirth is impossible.
Purposely bringing children into this world without ANY means of support is quite different than many surprise pregnancies.
What's a "surprise" pregnancy? I mean really, you have sex, you might get pregnant or impregnate someone. We are not dogs, we have intelligence to know what consequences are and the technology to prevent (almost) the consequences.
Pregnancy should almost NEVER be a surprise.
I think for many people the need to have children is something that comes from within. Not logic driven.
There is a huge difference in opinion regarding how much it costs to raise a child, and what "afford" a child means.
I think for many people, they just underestimate how much a child will cost them.
Or they underestimate how much other things in life will cost them.
Good question. I had a friend recently announce she is expecting her 3rd baby. I wasn't even excited for her. They are in debt and just lost their house. As far as I know it was planned. I guess people think with their hearts, and not their brains, sometimes.
If everyone waited until they could "afford" to have children, then close to 3/4th of this planet's population would be nonexistant.
True that parents should wait to become parents when they have some finacial stability, but there is no guarantee that parents will always be finacially stable after their children are born. No-one knows from one day to the next if their job is still going to be there when they go to work, no-one knows if they or a loved one will be in an accident that will put them in a finacial bind, also no-one knows if they or one of their family members will end up with some terminal illness that will put a major strain on finances.
We all can't live our lives on what ifs, what mights and when we cans. If we did then it would be more than 3/4 of this planet that would be nonexistant, there is a good chance that we all would be nonexistant.
A surprise preganancy is being told that your only hope of having children is IVF due to medical disadvantages your husband has. After 10 years of no birth control and 2 IVF's....surprise you are pregnant.
My neice had a baby less than a year ago.... and she just announced she is pregnant again. She lives with her mother and husband, who isn't the father of the first baby. Her 1/2 sister is 10 years older than her and she got pregant again within about the same amount of time BUT she is married..her and her husband both have GREAT jobs and own their own home. The oldest's baby is 5 months older than the younger ones baby. And the oldest one is preg again and they are very close to 5 months apart. again.
They act like it is a big game. "You know there is a pattern here. Christie's first was a boy, my first was a boy, hers now is a girl, so that means I should be having a girl." I am glad..and I hope it is healthy and all....but they can't afford RENT. WHY WOULD THEY WANT ANOTHER BABY???? To keep up with sister?? I guess so. I have no clue.
A surprise preganancy is being told that your only hope of having children is IVF due to medical disadvantages your husband has. After 10 years of no birth control and 2 IVF's....surprise you are pregnant.
Yes that would be a surprise. ( A wonderful surprise if you ask me)
But I don't think that is the type of "surprise" pregnancy the poster I responded to was referring to, I think......
Yes that would be a surprise. ( A wonderful surprise if you ask me)
But I don't think that is the type of "surprise" pregnancy the poster I responded to was referring to, I think......
I hadn't finished the post when I posted it, so it has been "adjusted"
As for the "surprise" aspect, what I am referring to is those who had sex without thinking about the consequence or not caring about the consequence...and suprise, surprise.
Also, there are women who have been told they are not able to get pregnant; women who think they have entered menopause; women who really have no timeline but do want a family...and surprise, surprise...they are pregnant.
It's a shame that some take advantage of medical advancements and others around them to meet a need that is quite unhealthy...therefore, NO amount of money or support really makes a difference.
Most woman don't have enough money or time or emotional resources to plan perfectly...but they have the capacity to take care of these things when the baby is born.
What is being so debated right now about Nayda Suleman is that she had none of this, was struggling to even handle the 6 she had, had no LOGICAL OR REASONALBE plans in place to take care of 8 babies (going back to school in 5 months with 14 children under the age of 7 is not reasonable), and still took the chance of multiple birth saying that it was, to a large extent, for her needs....
Thus, why what we are seeing on the news as of current is so upsetting to many.
Suprise pregnancie, to most, are wonderful, even if they do have some obstacle to overcome. But to what the OP is referring to, this was not the norm nor should it be tolerated & turned into the norm.
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I would like ten more dogs but since I don't have the energy room or what not for them I won't be getting ten more dogs...just curious
