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Old 02-18-2009, 02:06 PM
 
516 posts, read 1,752,002 times
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I was going to say "birth" also but I see it's already been mentioned. I know you didn't want to debate the whole issue but it's hard not to when the two philosophies are so very different.
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:14 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 2,652,158 times
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I have spanked and will spank my children if necessary. Having said that since they are 11 and 15 it is not necessary to spank them anymore. They are punished by having privileges taken away, being sent to their room (once without dinner since she didn't like what I cooked ). Last Monday my girls were out of school and bored and fighting with each other. My oldest was very angry and borderline out of control and informed me she didn't give a F*** what I said or thought.... She no longer has TV privileges, computer privileges, nor did she get to go on the field trip whose permission slip I had laying on my desk for signature and $20 to go to it. She can sit in the classroom that day and think about my opinion. Maybe it will change how she thinks about it. Probably it will just make her more angry.

On the other hand, the youngest works very hard to please and I rarely have to do more than look at her and she is apologizing and trying to fix whatever the problem is. That makes her sister even angrier because she says "She is just your baby angel". In all reality, the older one is probably moreso than the younger one.
I don't know. I do know about 7 or so is when we stopped spankings.
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:36 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,556,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pitt_transplant View Post
8 is way too old...She could be starting her period next year for heavens sakes...I think that says it all.
At nine girls start periods??? Maybe 11, but never heard at nine.

Those who say 'at birth', funny. Does that mean you would beat a kid up in the womb? Don't be ridiculous.

Spanking goes back to the beginning of time. It's a useful tool for parents. Kids can't handle anything anymore because they are talked to death. Give a swift swat on the bottom, and it redirects the brain. Works for us.
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:43 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
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In our little town we have had 2-3 girls that have started at school at 8. That I KNow of. We have had 6 that started at 9. Many more at 10 and lots at 11. Yes it does happen. Scarey as h_ll but yes it happens.
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:51 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 35,303,872 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
At nine girls start periods??? Maybe 11, but never heard at nine.

Those who say 'at birth', funny. Does that mean you would beat a kid up in the womb? Don't be ridiculous.

Spanking goes back to the beginning of time. It's a useful tool for parents. Kids can't handle anything anymore because they are talked to death. Give a swift swat on the bottom, and it redirects the brain. Works for us.
Puberty, Periods and Girls

You have kids and you don't know this?
"Most girls will have their first period between the ages of 11 and 14. But some girls will start as early as 8, whilst others may be as late as 17."
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:58 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,820 posts, read 18,775,199 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okpondlady View Post
I have spanked and will spank my children if necessary. Having said that since they are 11 and 15 it is not necessary to spank them anymore. They are punished by having privileges taken away, being sent to their room (once without dinner since she didn't like what I cooked ). Last Monday my girls were out of school and bored and fighting with each other. My oldest was very angry and borderline out of control and informed me she didn't give a F*** what I said or thought.... She no longer has TV privileges, computer privileges, nor did she get to go on the field trip whose permission slip I had laying on my desk for signature and $20 to go to it. She can sit in the classroom that day and think about my opinion. Maybe it will change how she thinks about it. Probably it will just make her more angry.

On the other hand, the youngest works very hard to please and I rarely have to do more than look at her and she is apologizing and trying to fix whatever the problem is. That makes her sister even angrier because she says "She is just your baby angel". In all reality, the older one is probably moreso than the younger one.
I don't know. I do know about 7 or so is when we stopped spankings.
Amen to that and the whole point to spanking is to teach boundaries and what is and is not acceptable behavior . No spanking does not feel good and that is the whole point to spanking .
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:03 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,622,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
Those who say 'at birth', funny. Does that mean you would beat a kid up in the womb? Don't be ridiculous.
No, it means that even a newborn is too old to be spanked.
(answering the OP's question: "how old is too old for spanking?"

Beating up a kid in the womb is what's ridiculous....
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:16 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,427,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denverian View Post

Seems to me that I often see parents who not only won't spank their kids (toddler to about 5) but seem afraid to even touch them. For instance, I recently witnessed a little girl around 3 years old in front of the gym, on the ground, screaming and kicking in a tantrum. The mother just stood there, calmly saying things like, "Then what would you like to do? What are you feeling right now? Would you like to go home and talk about it". Blah, blah, blah. You can't reason with a kid at that age. I felt like saying to the woman, "pick up your damn kid and get her out of the way of the door and put her butt in the car!" Seriously, what are people thinking?
What are they thinking? That they want their kids to like them and never have a moment that they consider could scar them until they are 85yrs old like a spanking does.... They've read lots of books & watched lots of Oprah....They listen to all the "doctors" on one side of the fence or the other but have never just put it all down, put it all away, tuned into their intuition and been a parent.

And that 3yr old turns into a 5yr old who turns into a 8yr old who turns into a teenager who has been raised by passive parents. Hence, one of the reasons why teenagers struggle in ways that are unimaginable these days. Their self-esteem is low b/c of the chemical changes, etc...but also b/c of the lack of guidance & discipline from the constant in their life...their parents...

My dh was raised by passive parents. And he struggles with some major things as a husband and father and just in life in general. I have a tendency to go the other extreme. So, thankfully, we balance each other out. The other day I heard him ask our 3yr old as our 3yr old STOMPED away from him "Why are you angry at daddy?" I bit my lip so hard....but we talked about it later....and together we talked to our son. Was a spanking necessary, not here...but discipline for stomping away from a parent b/c you are angry at them...definitely & it was not "Tell us what you were feeling" either...

Again, the OPs issue is very personal but very real. At the same time, how many different messages is this 8yr old being sent by every authority figure in her life? One spanks, one doesn't; one isn't a parent in one's opinion; this that that this, blah blah blah..." I feel sorry for this little girl.

The OP and the adults involved need to grow up, set aside their feelings of the other, sit down & talk.

Parent how you must. But parent.

Last edited by 121804; 02-18-2009 at 03:31 PM..
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:17 PM
 
Location: On the Ohio River in Western, KY
3,388 posts, read 5,741,315 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okpondlady View Post
In our little town we have had 2-3 girls that have started at school at 8. That I KNow of. We have had 6 that started at 9. Many more at 10 and lots at 11. Yes it does happen. Scarey as h_ll but yes it happens.
Puberty is happening earlier and earlier due to all the crap chemical and hormones in all our food, and it's disgusting IMO.

That's why we don't eat much but organic or locally grown or hunted foods, since they are actually better for you.
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:21 PM
 
Location: On the Ohio River in Western, KY
3,388 posts, read 5,741,315 times
Reputation: 3343
I am going to go with my dear Mom's (RIP) answer for this question. Never too old, I brought you into this world, I can take you out and make another one that looks just like ya.

I can tell you this right now, if my Mom were still alive, and I did something bad, she would bust my ass, and I would probably deserve it.
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