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Old 02-20-2009, 09:51 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,404,187 times
Reputation: 8031

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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlaGrrrl View Post
my opinion=

I realize a lot of people support spanking.. everyone in my family supports spanking.. but I think it's a lousy way to teach your kids about which behaviors are appropriate and which aren't. You know so many opinions about how we raise kids and how we treat our spouses.. how women or gays or other minorities are treated or thought of.. have changed drastically in the past 50 years. I think spanking is a tradition that has been carried over from our past and I believe with time more and more people will understand that it's just a very destructive tool for teaching children about consequences. I'm a parent and I explain the rules so that it makes sense to my kid. She looks up to me.. she wants to please me and is disappointed in herself when she messes up. We talk a lot.. and maybe that's what's missing in many households that spank their children. I know when I was growing up.. I wasn't allowed to start a conversation and had to know my place. So a lot of resentment built up and I'm sure it escalated the problem. There was no rationalizing for me.. if something didn't make sense it didn't matter.. what mattered was that I obeyed. I don't parent that way.. the most important thing to me as her parent is that she understands everything. If she's made a mistake.. no matter what it is.. we talk it out. I ask her what she's thinking.. what she's feeling.. a lot of parents don't make the time to do this imo. And I think spanking ends up boiling down to control.. but (imo) kids don't need to be 'controlled' ..they need to be nurtured. But ya know what.. this isn't just 'my' world but yours too so I realize you have the right to do what you feel is best.. just contributing my opinion.

Take it easy.
:-)
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Old 02-21-2009, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,601,174 times
Reputation: 4140
Quote:
Originally Posted by cherry251 View Post
So if a kid is a 19 year old student still living at home it's ok to spank them? I don't think so!
At 19 they are free to leave if they don't like their parents' rules. I've not known any 19 year olds to get spanked, but I've known older kids than that who were 'grounded'. Your house, your rules.
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 14,208,858 times
Reputation: 4563
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
At 19 they are free to leave if they don't like their parents' rules. I've not known any 19 year olds to get spanked, but I've known older kids than that who were 'grounded'. Your house, your rules.
I DO believe in spanking. However, in my state at least, spanking a 19 year old is assault.
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,601,174 times
Reputation: 4140
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I DO believe in spanking. However, in my state at least, spanking a 19 year old is assault.
It would be, if it was against their will. If they are desiring to remain at home, they are presumably not going to be calling the police on their parents.
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Old 02-21-2009, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,784,763 times
Reputation: 9345
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post

I personally feel that spanking is ineffective at this age... quite honestly ineffective past kindregarden or first grade.
Speaking from experience, my last spanking was when I was 14 and let me tell you, it was very effective. When I got spanked at 13 for stealing it was very effective. I never stole again and every time I got tempted, I thought of that spanking. Now I think of temptations as tests and I fly through without thinking of spankings. LOL (temptations such as finding money and keeping it--I've turned it in every single time, up to $1,300.00)

I think it depends on the child as to how old is too old. If they're not responding to everything else, sometimes it's warranted. Right now, my nieces and nephew, ages 4 and 5, don't respond well to reason for long. It's like they don't get it sometimes. I've put them on time-out and 2 minutes after being let off, bam! the same thing they got put on time-out for happens and their reaction to doing it again instantly tells me there's something else going on--they sometimes stop in their tracks after doing it as if they just realized they did it again. But that happens so often I just wonder. My kids never did anything like this. Could it be b'c they were premies and are still behind in so many ways? Yes, I suppose. I rarely ever spank them. One bit the other yesterday so I spanked. Usually it's time-outs. It's a tough call--depends completely on the child.
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Old 02-22-2009, 05:23 AM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,248 posts, read 21,313,041 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I DO believe in spanking. However, in my state at least, spanking a 19 year old is assault.
Unless it is done with consent by her boyfriend
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Old 02-22-2009, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 5,503,598 times
Reputation: 1128
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
At 19 they are free to leave if they don't like their parents' rules. I've not known any 19 year olds to get spanked, but I've known older kids than that who were 'grounded'. Your house, your rules.
Ok, so during the month of December I was interviewing security guards at some of the local middle and high schools and we were discussing spanking and schools and that sort of stuff. Well, one of the security guards said that he spanked his 20 year old son in the local Wal-Mart, for not coming home when he was supposed to. Apparently, it was over winter break, of 07, and his son had returned home from college and at his parent's house there is still a curfew that had to be followed. So, one night, the son stayed out all night and then called the dad (the security guard) the next morning to see if he could come pick him up from a young lady's house. The dad drove 45 minutes to pick his son up and then took him to the local Wal-Mart to spank him with a boat paddle!!! I could not believe my hears when I was listening to this story!!! I was shocked and just beside myself when he was telling me this!!! Spanked his son, in Wal-Mart, with a boat paddle!!! And his son was 20 years old!!!
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Old 02-22-2009, 10:14 PM
 
Location: Nowhere
9,761 posts, read 3,030,377 times
Reputation: 2176
^I guess there's no shortage of crazy, lol.
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Old 02-22-2009, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 5,503,598 times
Reputation: 1128
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlaGrrrl View Post
^I guess there's no shortage of crazy, lol.
Right?!?! LOL!!! Crazy!!! I just listened and backed away slowly! LOL!!!
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Old 02-22-2009, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,690 posts, read 89,169,700 times
Reputation: 29451
Quote:
Originally Posted by dvcgal View Post
Ok, so during the month of December I was interviewing security guards at some of the local middle and high schools and we were discussing spanking and schools and that sort of stuff. Well, one of the security guards said that he spanked his 20 year old son in the local Wal-Mart, for not coming home when he was supposed to. Apparently, it was over winter break, of 07, and his son had returned home from college and at his parent's house there is still a curfew that had to be followed. So, one night, the son stayed out all night and then called the dad (the security guard) the next morning to see if he could come pick him up from a young lady's house. The dad drove 45 minutes to pick his son up and then took him to the local Wal-Mart to spank him with a boat paddle!!! I could not believe my hears when I was listening to this story!!! I was shocked and just beside myself when he was telling me this!!! Spanked his son, in Wal-Mart, with a boat paddle!!! And his son was 20 years old!!!
That's friggin' hilarious. I'd love to see footage on YouTube.
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