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Old 02-18-2009, 10:47 AM
 
1,425 posts, read 3,641,441 times
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I am not trying to debate the whole spanking/not spanking delima. I am a parent that has spanked my son. He is 15 now and I haven"t popped his bottom since he was in early elementry school. The only time I ever spanked him was when he was when he was past the point of reason. IE: having a smart mouth after being warned he was working on getting a spanking, sitting on the edge of the road playing. I can count on one hand the number of times I've spanked him... always with my bare hand and two or three swats on the behind.

Here is my question: At what age should spanking stop?

My DSD who is 8 and isn't a behavior issue is being spanked in public by her momma. Her father hasn't popped her bottom in years, as she is one that responds to reason and other forms of dicipline ( loss of priviliges). I do not know the reason for the spanking. DSD is a very sensitive person who strives to please others (even to the point she gives up her own joys). It was just two years ago when the momma asked us how to dicipline the kids. We are the primary home and apparently she had no reason to dicipline (apparently of any kind... not even restricting playthings or early bedtimes) the kids until they were 6 and 10.

I personally feel that spanking is ineffective at this age... quite honestly ineffective past kindregarden or first grade.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:07 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,470,794 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post

Here is my question: At what age should spanking stop?
at birth
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:09 AM
 
1,788 posts, read 4,246,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
at birth
That's what I came in here to say.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:13 AM
 
2,785 posts, read 9,084,506 times
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It's never appropriate, and only teaches a child physical violence is acceptable.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:45 AM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,715,578 times
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Add another for 'at birth.'

There are far better ways to 'deal with' children...spanking...sorry, not an option.

Like I said before, teachers have kids in their classes and are not allowed to spank or touch them but must guide and teach them...why should parents get to???
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:52 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,413,361 times
Reputation: 3189
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
I am not trying to debate the whole spanking/not spanking delima. I am a parent that has spanked my son. He is 15 now and I haven"t popped his bottom since he was in early elementry school. The only time I ever spanked him was when he was when he was past the point of reason. IE: having a smart mouth after being warned he was working on getting a spanking, sitting on the edge of the road playing. I can count on one hand the number of times I've spanked him... always with my bare hand and two or three swats on the behind.

Here is my question: At what age should spanking stop?

My DSD who is 8 and isn't a behavior issue is being spanked in public by her momma. Her father hasn't popped her bottom in years, as she is one that responds to reason and other forms of dicipline ( loss of priviliges). I do not know the reason for the spanking. DSD is a very sensitive person who strives to please others (even to the point she gives up her own joys). It was just two years ago when the momma asked us how to dicipline the kids. We are the primary home and apparently she had no reason to dicipline (apparently of any kind... not even restricting playthings or early bedtimes) the kids until they were 6 and 10.

I personally feel that spanking is ineffective at this age... quite honestly ineffective past kindregarden or first grade.
And it sounds like you have a personal issue with the bio mom and she struggles with parenting.

This is a random internet forum. You are going to get the answer of those who spank are worse than mass murderers or the hole in the wallers will come out & say to spank the child in public & than laugh....

Sit down with bio mom, yourself, and husband.

It's personal and private and an 8yr old is involved.

This doesn't need to be hashed out here into a ridiculous debate that it will become.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:56 AM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,427,523 times
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I think 8 is too old too, especially if she responds to the other forms of discipline. Can you and dad talk to the mom about why she is spanking now? Don't know how that conversation would go, but it doesn't seem unreasonable that her father would ask, "So how come she needed to be punished?"
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:09 PM
 
1,425 posts, read 3,641,441 times
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I wasn't trying to make this a debate. I was trying to get input with other points of view before this is brought up to the biomomma by my husband. I know that each parent has their own style and while my style is similar to my friends, I was wondering if it is normal for other parents (who spank) to spank at 8 yo? I know how to look at the median responses from those who do spank. Those who do not's answers are irrelivant to my question and will be discarded.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:22 PM
 
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8 is way too old...She could be starting her period next year for heavens sakes...I think that says it all.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 23,211,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
I wasn't trying to make this a debate. I was trying to get input with other points of view before this is brought up to the biomomma by my husband. I know that each parent has their own style and while my style is similar to my friends, I was wondering if it is normal for other parents (who spank) to spank at 8 yo? I know how to look at the median responses from those who do spank. Those who do not's answers are irrelivant to my question and will be discarded.
I agree with your age cut-off and think 8 is too old. I was appropriately spanked up until about 1st grade when they could reason with me and take away priviledges. We will do the same with our kids.

Seems to me that I often see parents who not only won't spank their kids (toddler to about 5) but seem afraid to even touch them. For instance, I recently witnessed a little girl around 3 years old in front of the gym, on the ground, screaming and kicking in a tantrum. The mother just stood there, calmly saying things like, "Then what would you like to do? What are you feeling right now? Would you like to go home and talk about it". Blah, blah, blah. You can't reason with a kid at that age. I felt like saying to the woman, "pick up your damn kid and get her out of the way of the door and put her butt in the car!" Seriously, what are people thinking?
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