Parent's role (parents, girls, son, girlfriend)

[nezlie]

Do you think parent's have a role in influencing the child's choice of boyfriend or girlfriend?

Or do you think that's something that should be left up to the child?

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by nezlie

Do you think parent's have a role in influencing the child's choice of boyfriend or girlfriend?

Or do you think that's something that should be left up to the child?

My mother learned from experience that reverse psychology worked the best for this issue.

The more she expressed displeasure in boyfriends, the more we wanted to be with them.

If she kept quiet, we ended the relationships faster.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by nezlie

Do you think parent's have a role in influencing the child's choice of boyfriend or girlfriend?

Or do you think that's something that should be left up to the child?

Both. A parent might have influence, but ultimately it is up to the child to choose.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by nezlie

Do you think parent's have a role in influencing the child's choice of boyfriend or girlfriend?

Or do you think that's something that should be left up to the child?

At what age? 16-yes. 40-no.

[Mattie]

Hands off until an issue arises. If one should during the high school years, I might make my feelings known, but it never did.
Once they leave for college, I was just happy to be invited to meet the girls.

I say this, because there haven't been any problems with the girls they dated. I quite possibly would have something to say if they were dating somebody who I had a serious problem with. I just don't know what exactly those words of wisdom would be.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

At what age? 16-yes. 40-no.

Yes, it depends a lot on age and if they're still in your home and under your care. One girl my son dated had a curfew of 9 pm on week nights and 9:30 pm on weekends so that would have influenced her dating choices.

It's also one of those areas where you choose your battles, but also you have to be careful how you address what you think might be issues. If for example, you feel someone is mistreating your child, you would do everything to help your child see it, but you have to approach it carefully.

[Natsku]

Should be left up to the child unless some serious issues arise (though not sure what can be done if issues do arise)

[Pinkmani]

I like my dad, so I'll probably end up dating someone like him.

[Kaleetan]

Up to the kid, up to the kid, up to the kid.
It is THEIR boyfriend/girlfriend, so why should their PARENTS be choosing it!
You NEVER see kids choosing their PARENTS friends!!! (But if parents are going to be choosing their kids friends, maybe kids SHOULD choose their parents friends! )
Now, lets just say it's up to the KID!
This is overprotective society getting in the way AGAIN!!!!

[Billy_J]

Originally Posted by nezlie

Do you think parent's have a role in influencing the child's choice of boyfriend or girlfriend?

Indirectly - by what type of personality the parent has. I think they will choose a boyfriend or girlfriend with a similar personality of their parent.

That is if they are from a non-dysfunctional family. If from a dysfunctional family, then they might prefer to choose a mate who is quite different from their dysfunctional parent.

So if a son has a mom who is a good person to talk to about people problems, is patient, has a good sense of humor, and is a good cook... then he is not going to be very happy with someone without those traits!