Too Many Extracurricular Activities? (SAHM, games, parents, smart)

[brit3218]

I've seen alot of children become so overly involved in extra curricular activities that it puts a strain on the parents marriage because they have no time for each other and it also puts a strain on family time. Why do parents allow this? I understand that you want your children to become well rounded, social, athletic, etc but where do you draw the line at becoming too involved? HOw much is too much?

[brit3218]

Sorry I didn't mean to double post!

[joyBeing]

For most people, not all, it's called "Keeping up with the Joneses". Some kids really love activities, but many do not. I see parents pushing those kids, and it breaks my heart.

[stormy night]

Actually, I think it's for bragging rights. Fathers don't seem to be as pushy as mothers do trying to keep their kids in so much that there is no time for anything else, not even for the kids to be kids. The parent seems to believe that their kids aren't going to end up as smart, or as fast, or as talented as "the Joneses"(see above post by Joy) unless they are so over-scheduled there is nothing else that can be squeezed in.

I've heard women brag about how busy they are taking the kids here and there, how they're stretched to the limit, and how the kids love it all and they're thriving. On the other hand, I've heard kids say how tired they are, how they hate this sport or that lesson, etc..

Sad really. My daughter has a friend who is so over-booked by her mother, that she doesn't know what to do with herself if she has a half hour to herself. Her homework is scheduled in between numerous music lessons and sports activities. The kid is over-stressesed to the point that she can't think past the next activity that's scheduled. The mother thinks it's great.

The problem I see is kids don't seem any better off than they were back 20, 30, 100+ years ago when they went out to play and invented their own fun. Kids aren't any smarter than the likes of Gates, Einstein, Franklin, and everybody in between. Kids aren't any more athletic than Montana, Jordan, Chamberlain, Ruth, Mays, and everybody in between. Kids don't move ahead musically of Bach, Mozart, the Beatles, Elvis, Ellington, Gershwin, Mancini, etc., and everybody in between.

Exactly what does having them so stressed and over scheduled do for them? N O T H I N G.

But it D O E S rob them of imagination, spending time to themselves finding out what they REALLY like, discovering they're pretty good people being who they like being, learning how to manage THEIR OWN TIME.

Micromanaging kids does them no favors. None at all.

[Granny Sue]

My SIL THRIVES on being the martyr....drives me crazy.

I have one day that I stop by and take the kids to the ice rink....mine is grown and gone so it's not a big deal and I enjoy the time with them.

When I drop them off, all I hear about is how busy she is and she just doesn't have time to take these kids every where they want to go.

I've asked her many times just to have the kids drop some of the after school activities buy she won't hear of it.

Seriously, the kids don't really even care if they go. They care about the ice rink and Hebrew School.

[akck]

A lot of it is to give each child opportunities to excel at something they like.

For most parents, it lasts for a couple of years before the kids prune the activities with less interest. I remember the times we drove in different directions because games were at different fields. The best part is when they learn to drive. You no longer have to make two round trips for each activity.

[denverian]

I was thinking about this the other day. One of my friends is a SAHM with an 18 month old. I was shocked when she told me she has him in three activities -swim leesons and I forget the other to. For an 18 month old? Seriously??!!

I took music lessons starting in about the 6th grade and then band for 6 years, but that didn't involve my parents much. Oh, and I did take swimming lessons in about 3rd and 4th grade, but I walked myself down the street to the pool for that. Granted, I never was interested in any sports.

I think one per year would be plenty for my kids. I also hear neighbors w/young kids complaining about their cars being messy from their kids eating in the car. Maybe their cars have become their dining rooms while shuffling kids around every night. That's another thing I can't figure out - we never ate in the car as kids, and neither will my kids, unless we're on a long road trip.

[regarese]

I'm always amazed at the stamina of the moms that do this. I know I do not have it in me. LOL. My daughter is turning 4 at the end of the year and I'll be signing her up for dance classes, but I don't have plans for anything other than that right now. I like the idea of a PP-a sport and an intrument or an activity and an art when they are older. But I do feel bad for the kids that are always booked.

[akck]

Originally Posted by regarese

I'm always amazed at the stamina of the moms that do this. I know I do not have it in me. LOL. My daughter is turning 4 at the end of the year and I'll be signing her up for dance classes, but I don't have plans for anything other than that right now. I like the idea of a PP-a sport and an intrument or an activity and an art when they are older. But I do feel bad for the kids that are always booked.

You'll be surprised at what you're willing to do and will learn how you can juggle multiple activities. We introduced but never forced them to continue any activity. You'll meet parents whose kids participate in the same activities who will carpool with you. You'll also meet parents who will pawn their kids off on you for transportation.

I wouldn't feel too bad about kids that are always booked. Most are doing the activities because they want to or because they want to be with their friends.

[twins4lynn]

I hear a lot about kids overinvolved in activities, but I honestly don’t know any families like that...and exactly what is overinvolved? If you take part in any sport, you will be required to attend practice a few days a week, in particular when you are older. When kids are young, that’s the time to experiment with different activities/sports to see where their interest lies, and sometimes those activities can overlap for short periods when one activity is nearly over and and the other starting up. I remember one year when my son’s soccer team playoff games overlapped for a couple of weeks with his basketball workouts that just started, and he had swimming lessons once a week, too. But that was a rare thing for us and only lasted for a couple of weeks. And now, my son is 14 and narrowed it down to just being on a swim team, which, at his level, requires practice 4-5 days a week (in addition to attending swim meets). When he goes up to the next level they require practice 5-6 days a week. And he hopes to make the swim team next year in high school (in addition to being on a his current swim team). He loves it and misses it when swimming practice is cancelled. And then there is his twin sister with her own activities that she takes part in a couple of days a week. And she's commented on a club that she hopes to join next year in high school. Such is life .

I smiled when I read the comment from one of the previous posters about kids eating in the car. I leave the house with my son at 4:45 to drop off him off for swimming and pick him up again at 6:45. He’s starving when he's done swimming and still has homework to finish when he gets home. I fix a thermos with his dinner and bring it along when picking him up so he can eat on the way home. Doesn’t bother me a bit!