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Very interesting topic. My problem is the opposite I dress like a bum. I have no style whatsoever. I pray my dd inherits some style from her dad's side of the family. I will follow her lead when she get older within reason. It is going to tough to pay for brand name clothes though. They just seem like such a ripoff.
A 3yo foster daughter once came home from pre-school saying other little girls said her clothes were not pretty. I was shocked. Next day I sent her to school with her best dress.
You can buy her pretty clothes at Wal Mart and Target without spending a ton of money.
I don't think clothes are that important but I do enjoy dressing up and looking nice. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I do think there's a danger in focusing to much attention on it, especially for little girls.
I think that if your daughter is bothered by having clothes that are not "pretty" you can get her some pretty things that don't cost a bundle. Just don't make a big deal over it.
You can buy her pretty clothes at Wal Mart and Target without spending a ton of money.
I don't think clothes are that important but I do enjoy dressing up and looking nice. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I do think there's a danger in focusing to much attention on it, especially for little girls.
I think that if your daughter is bothered by having clothes that are not "pretty" you can get her some pretty things that don't cost a bundle. Just don't make a big deal over it.
That happened to me years ago when I was a foster mom.
My dd doesn't really care about clothes yet. Up to now I have bought her clothes at Target or other department stores at the end of the season for the following year.
I just wish I myself cared a little bit more about my appearance. I do not want it to affect her social life.
My family is definetely not hung up on the name brand thing! Everyone has a couple things that may be name brand, but that's about it. I will say that you can find amazing sales on some of those name brand items and end up paying less for them than the cheap stuff (I love it when that happens)!!!
I think some parents may have stood out as kids because they were poor and didn't have nice clothes, so they want to make sure that doesn't happen to their kids. The problem is, they don't realize that they are making them stand out anyways, just in a different direction! Or, some are just rich and want to make sure everyone knows it (the second one really drives me crazy)!
I used to have a friend that was "dirt poor" as a kid, but he grew up and ended up doing very well financially. He was the most annoying, arrogant person on earth!!! He had to make sure in his every word that everyone around him knew about all his accomplishments and that they were better than everyone else's. Needless to say, I think he had more friends when he was poor!
Interesting story. I had the opposite. My parents made me feel (or at least I did feel) like we were poor, and couldn't afford name brand clothes. I went to school with a lot of kids who had a lot more than we did, and did dress the way you described. At the time, I wanted more. But it was a character builder, and I now understand that it it is what's inside that counts. I don't have a daughter, but I always thought that I'd buy her a couple name brand items, and buy the rest at Target, or somewhere. A happy medium.
My son goes to preschool with a daughter dressed way overboard everyday. Leopard print, and all. Her mom dresses like that too. I never see the mom socializing with the other moms. I think people may shy away from her because she does look so different than the rest of us in out jeans, t-shirts, and work out clothes. Maybe we don't ever outgrow that.
I knew my family was poor, well at least poorer than the average kids at school and so my clothes were anything but "in" with everyone elses. I wore a lot of home made clothes throughout grade school and then K-mart, Yellow Front and Woolworth's clothes from jr. high on up. I was in 8th grade before I owned my first pair of Levi 501s. I wore them things almost daily clear up through 10th grade when they finally wore out. I still have that pair somewhere in storage as I had friends sign them before I retired them.
I too wanted more, but have since come to realize that clothes don't make who you are, we make ourselves who we are. I may not have been "in style" with the rest of my fellow students, but at least I was dressed and I was loved. Which I have also come to learn that some of the kids who were dressed to the nines in school didn't have as close of a relationship with their parents as I did. The clothes that they wore were mainly "I'm sorry" gifts from their parents who were to busy working and socializing to spend quality time with their kids.
I have 4 daughters, and I do try and at least afford one or two outfits apiece that are name brands, but the rest of their wardrobe comes from Target, Wal-mart, K-mart, Ross, T.J. Max, and ShopKo. For my oldest daughter though, I couldn't outright afford to go in and buy Ambercrombe, (which was huge a few years ago) So I purchased a few pairs of jeans off of ebay. They were slightly used and in great shape, nobody at school knew that they were used, for all they knew they were brand new.
I think that way to many parents go overboard buying expensive clothes for their kids. Most of the time they outgrow them so fast that parents can't keep up. I have found the lesser expensive clothes, now have adjustable waistbands in their jeans so kids can wear them much longer. I have been able to get almost two years out of my girl's jeans. I couldn't do that with Ambercrombie or Levis.
This other woman I'm talking about, her daughter in pre-school got an award for the best dressed kid in the class. I really think she was trying to make a point. But it surely didn't register.
Who has a best-dressed competition in school? That's just so wrong.
Interesting - I was picked on for not having the 'right clothing'...that started in Kindergarten and didn't end until highschool. Wasn't till college that I found my difference to be acceptable.
I see proper dressing as honing the environmentally appropriate...going out to dinner or some fancy shin-dig? Leopard, silk, velvet - absolutely...if it fits the atmosphere.
Who has a best-dressed competition in school? That's just so wrong.
Interesting - I was picked on for not having the 'right clothing'...that started in Kindergarten and didn't end until highschool. Wasn't till college that I found my difference to be acceptable.
I see proper dressing as honing the environmentally appropriate...going out to dinner or some fancy shin-dig? Leopard, silk, velvet - absolutely...if it fits the atmosphere.
Who has a best-dressed competition in school? That's just so wrong.
I was thinking the same thing.
I control what my kids wear to a certain extent. Let's just call it loosely preppy. Jeans without holes. Maybe khakis or cargos. Nice t-shirts, polos, or rugbys. Not to stand out, but not to look scrubby either. My daughter would wear fancy dresses every day if I let her. Like was said above me, the right clothes for the right occasion. She has learned that school is pants and shirts, and they can still look cute.
If I could afford to shop out of LL Bean and Lands End for them, I would, but I stick to a few items from there and round it out with other items from Target and WM, and maybe some secondhand or clearance gymboree clothes (the mix and match function of Gymboree stuff is great for my daughter, who likes to put together her outfits).
rkb0305;7715710] My son goes to preschool with a daughter dressed way overboard everyday. Leopard print, and all. Her mom dresses like that too. I never see the mom socializing with the other moms. I think people may shy away from her because she does look so different than the rest of us in out jeans, t-shirts, and work out clothes. Maybe we don't ever outgrow that.
The woman I'm talking about is the same way, I cannot imagine how much she spends on clothes a month, and she looks stunning, but, a lot of young women her age, stay away, b/c they are intimidated by her. There is, a time and place...and when you outdress your kids, the other kids will not accept them.
Back in junior high, there was a sorta tough girl at our school. Steered clear of her as I was afraid of getting beat up. Remember the burnout years? Well she ALWAYS wore the faded jeans and rock t-shirts. And then, one day, she came to school in a full out frilly DRESS! Through the hallways we all heard her parents had gotten really mad about something she did and cut up all her jeans and T-shirts, and she had to wear dresses the rest of the school year. As mean as she was, we all felt really bad for her.
I'm glad you showed me the other side creme because I was the kid that had to wear handmedowns and homemade clothes.
I was always belittled because of it. Kids with the better newer clothes always acted like they were better than those others like me.
As a result? I have three closets full of clothes and none of them are "just right". I don't go into debt for my clothes but I have way too many of them.
I think if we all made sure that our kids at least learn the quality of what they are wearing isn't as important as the quality of themselves, every kid would have it easier in school.
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