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Never, ever go back when you tell a child NO. All it takes is one time reversing a decision with them and they have GOT YOU...they are smart and know how to work it with you with only one encounter like this. I had to raise a boy all by myself from age 11 until adulthood and we had our battles. One absolutely frightful moment with him was when he was only 12 years old. He had been giving me some backtalk and I had warned him several times. The last time he spoke back during this episode, he was standing on a little rise as you go into a room and he was already close to six fee tall and near 200 pounds...big boy. For one split second, I felt fear and my heart pounding and knew if I let this big boy get the best of me now then it would be thus so for the rest of his growing up years...his size was a big factor in me "parenting up" and getting control of him. I think that day he lost all his rights in one feel swoop so to speak...no tv, no friends for a week, no nintendo (my son is 40 now) and lord only knows what all else he lost. I was never afraid again.
What I am saying is no matter how hard they cry, stay firm...put the irritating, crying, red-faced child in their room. They will stop. Don't continuously warn them that you are going to take action...DO IT. AND..the best news here is that kids do grow up, I promise you!!
It must be something in the air! I took ALL my kids favorite electronics (DS, ipod) this weekend, and most of the stuff from their room! They can EARN it back once they shape up. They asked how long I was going to keep it, thinking I'd say 1 week or something. Nope! When they can act right they will get it back, so it's up to them. Last night they got sent to bed early, too! I think we all have cabin fever, but that is no excuse for being disrespectful!
Never go back on the discipline but also never say a discipline that you can't actually do.
About a month ago I took away my 13 year old daughters electronic devices for a week-I'm letting her know she better shape up or they will be gone again.
Funny how kids think their lives will end if they lose things like their electronics and games, but the truth is, after they're gone, the kids eventually start taking interest in other things, like going outside or reading or board games, or lots of other stuff. It's really kind of cool to see them lose that dependency, see their eyes clear and actually interact with the rest of the family.
The DS came back today.... but I must say, it was a most pleasant two days without it (after the crying stopped). I think we'll have a bedtime discussion reiterating the reasons the DS went bye-bye the other day and, hopefully, the attitude will stay in check.
Funny how kids think their lives will end if they lose things like their electronics and games, but the truth is, after they're gone, the kids eventually start taking interest in other things, like going outside or reading or board games, or lots of other stuff. It's really kind of cool to see them lose that dependency, see their eyes clear and actually interact with the rest of the family.
This is so true! Since I took my kids electronics away their imaginations have returned! They are being nicer to eachother and they actually hear me when I am talking to them because they are not sooo wrapped up in some game!! I really don't want to give them back ever, but I know I have to hold up my end and return them when the kids are behaving better.
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Discipline Almost Undermined
