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I'm sure there has been a thread on this, but here we go........
OK, I'll start - beware, my kids are at the "tween" stage, so this may be PG-13!
My ds went to his second sixth grade dance. When I picked him up, this is what he told me "I have learned that the sixth grade girls are too shy to dance, and the eight grade girls want nothing to do with us. So, you have to ask the seventh grade girls to dance, because they feel sorry for you!"
I thought, WOW, watch out for this kid, he's got it all figured out!
Now, on to my dd (who is ten) - We were in the store one day looking at the younger girls bra & panty sets, and she brings this set over to me that has an owl on the bra. She holds it up and says "Look mom, these hold your hooters!" as she points to the owl! I can't believe she put all that together! It got me thinking, did anyone that was making or boxing these put it together and have a laugh? By the way, I'm not sure where she got the term "hooters", but leave it to her to use it in such a way!
My two year old is still learning to fall asleep by himself. To make it easier on myself while my husband is gone this week, I have taken him and my 6 year-old for car rides to put him to sleep--with the benficial outcome of both of them usually falling asleep. Last night as I carried my older son into the house, he started talking, "Did I get my bedtime snack? Did you read stories to me?" I assured him "yes" on both accounts while wishing to myself that he had stayed sleeping. We get to his room and then he says "I'm thirsty, I need some water." I put him in bed and went to tell him I will get him some when I look down and he is sleeping--he had been the whole time! Leave it to a 6-year-old to make up bedtime excuses WHILE sleeping!
When my son was about four , He heard my dad say Jesus H. Christ !!! really loud . He turns to me and says mom did you know that jesus has a middle name ? and I asked him what it was and he said it is H. and I immediately knew where he heard it from . I think my son was more like five not four . I could not believe that he said that .
My three year old niece has been learning about shapes in daycare.One day she was playing in the living room. She was spinning around in circles and making herself dizzy. My mom then said "Peyton stop spinning in circles" and my niece stopped and looked at her with a serious look on her face and said "Ok grandma, do you want me to run in squares?" My mom and I were cracking up! Children rule!
crazyme - How funny, he knows the bedtime prolonging rituals so well he can recite them in his sleep!!
phonelady - How cute!! I wonder how many other kids heard about Jesus middle name?! Weird thing, I think both myself and my dd's first repeated not nice word was Son of a #$%&*! It must be some kind of family tradition passed down from our fathers!
brit - WOW, picking that up at three, she is a smart cookie! That's one of those things that you just pause for a moment - - and then crack up!
My daughter had a "duh" moment last night, it was pretty funny! She is in the kitchen and asks me "Mom, when is the 4th of July?" I looked at her very seriously and said "It's in July - - on the 4th!" We both had a good laugh!
My 4 year old daughter bumped her head on the table the other day, and when I asked her if she was okay, she told me her brain hurt! I cracked up! The next day I asked her how her head felt and she imformed me that her brain didn't hurt anymore.
My 15 almost 16 year old daughter has been in Girl Scouts for YEARS..like 10 years this year. She has been to camp and this year is going to be a Counselor in Training at camp. She has done MANY MANY Flag ceremonies.
We were driving by the Odd Fellows Home in town and she looked across their yard and says to me.. "MOM, how did they get that flag up there???" While pointing up the flag pole. I looked at her and says...... Audery how long have you been in GIRL SCOUTS??? YOU KNOW THIS answer. She blushed and said never mind. She knew, just had a blond moment. You know after 13 or so they lose their minds and have quite a few of those blond moments.
When my son was about four , He heard my dad say Jesus H. Christ !!! really loud . He turns to me and says mom did you know that jesus has a middle name ? and I asked him what it was and he said it is H. and I immediately knew where he heard it from . I think my son was more like five not four . I could not believe that he said that .
We had a little (maybe 2 or 3 maybe) kid at church one day see some dog poo on the ground and he pointed to it and at the top of his little voice yelled "Holy S**t". And then proceeded to explain about the church being holy ground and poo being S***.
Well since I am blissfully childfree, I don't have any first-hand stories to tell, but I would love to tell you one that I read somewhere.
It seems that after a long marriage "grandpaw" (or "pee paw" as the 4 year old would call him), divorced his wife of many, many years to remarry a much MUCH younger woman.
The woman was begrudgingly accepted into the family and one day she was babysitting the 4 year old and there was a war of wills. When the woman told the 4 year old to do something the 4 year old looked up and said.....
"You're not my MEE MAW. You're just my Pee Paw's ****".
Two quick things that I guess you would have to know my 2yr old daughter to laugh.
This morning before we left out of the house I called my DD to the kitchen. I asked her if she wanted a banana. She replied, "No thank you. I don't like nanas no more" I was like daaang girl, "no thank you" you little respectful person. That made me smile and off to a good start.
Now to something funny.
My wife got up from the table. I like to eat the little fries that are crispy and she doesn't. I reached over to grab the few that my wife set aside for me. DD says, "no no no, thats not right, ask momma first". I guess this $700 a month in daycare isn't going to waste after all.
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! I can't believe she put all that together! It got me thinking, did anyone that was making or boxing these put it together and have a laugh? By the way, I'm not sure where she got the term "hooters", but leave it to her to use it in such a way
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She blushed and said never mind. 
She knew, just had a blond moment. You know after 13 or so they lose their minds and have quite a few of those blond moments. 
