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Old 03-27-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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I have two children ages 5 and (almost) 2. I was struggling with whether to be done or not a lot lately. I have this feeling inside that makes me miss my little baby boy (whom is now 5) who is growing so fast. I miss when he was a baby and needed me so much, I miss all the cute things he did and said.
But now i realize what i thought was "yearning for another baby" Was really just a feeling of not wanting my children to grow up.
So I've decided to be done and look towards the future and all the new excitement the school ages will bring.

When and how did YOU know you were done having children?
I am interested to know.
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:25 PM
 
1,312 posts, read 4,184,124 times
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I was done the second I found out my second child was a girl. My first was a boy, so I figured God gave me one of each so that was it. I had also had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy before my son was born, so I felt I had been pregnant and suffered enough in order to get my two babies. I most likely would have been done even if it had been another boy....

I remember the same feelings as my kids grew less dependent...mine are only 4 and 5 now, but it seems so much longer ago than it really was!
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:28 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,402,860 times
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when the paralegal handed me the clip board in front of the house gave me a nasty smile and said sign her for the divorce hearing.
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:39 PM
 
Location: St. Louis Metro East
515 posts, read 1,362,521 times
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I knew I was done when I got the devastating news that my son, who was diagnosed deaf at 8 months, was diagnosed with autism at age 3. He's 15 now, and doing very well.

It was reaffirmed when my husband and I agreed in 2001 that his two and my two were indeed enough.

My youngest is 7, boen in 2002. Sometimes, God knows what he's doing, even if I don't have a clue!

~D
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:53 PM
 
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I'm 95% sure we're "done." I do sometimes have baby-pangs, but my kids now are 8 and 6. I'm so far out of the nursing/diapers phase that I can't imagine going back to it. When we want to go somewhere, I say "go put on your shoes!" and we're out the door. We can go for a hike in the woods, or to spend the day at the beach without packing a whole extra bag for a baby. I nursed for over 3 1/2 years, and I do'nt want to do it again. I like not having to buy diapers (or soak/wash cloth diapers, which I did for 18 months). I've had two miscarriages, one of them physically severe, and I'm content with the two healthy children (one boy, one girl) that we have.

That said, I would not be devastated if we were surprised by a new little one. God works in mysterious ways.
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Old 03-27-2009, 02:03 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,240,900 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post
I have two children ages 5 and (almost) 2. I was struggling with whether to be done or not a lot lately. I have this feeling inside that makes me miss my little baby boy (whom is now 5) who is growing so fast. I miss when he was a baby and needed me so much, I miss all the cute things he did and said.
But now i realize what i thought was "yearning for another baby" Was really just a feeling of not wanting my children to grow up.
So I've decided to be done and look towards the future and all the new excitement the school ages will bring.

When and how did YOU know you were done having children?
I am interested to know.
Going through the same thing now...have a 3 1/2 yr old & 1 yr old...

Honestly, right now...two things: my age & the economy.

I would be in my upper 30s if we had #3. And while I never gave a second thought to my age or the statistics with the first two....37/38yrs old for #3...and one of my preggo friends has placentia previa (spelling?) right now....I was blessed & blessed & blessed some more to have not only healthy & easy pregnancies, but healthy children.

#3 on my part would be more of a "want" than something for the family.

The cost factor also concerns me a little. We would need a larger car. Our children will attend parochial school, so we would have to budget for a third in schooling, sports, extracurriculars, & so.

While we don't believe in giving our children every bell & whistle, we also want them to have opportunities. And that does, to an extent, cost money. Be it $25 or $250...it still costs money...and right now, $25 is a ton of money in our family.

I know that there is never enough money when you have kids, but the reality is that children do cost money. And we are not in the economic situation to bring a third children into our family. We are a one income family who lives in our means. A third would test that very much.

I've been putting away #2's winter clothes...6-12 month clothes..and getting out 18 month & even seeing 2Ts mixed in....it's incredibly bittersweet.

I think all moms go through these feelings. My SIL went through the same thing for about a year last year. It really tugs at ya...

We were playing outside this morning...and it was great...both can walk & play & have fun...last year I was holding #2 while #1 wanted me to help him down the slide...this year, they both have an element of independence that is really fun.

Emotionally & financially...we are probably at our peak...and, when I REALLY think about #3...it's for ME...and in my opinion...that's not the right reason.
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Old 03-27-2009, 02:49 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,332,656 times
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I think you KNOW when you are done. I would recommend no one be steralized until it is decided by both members of the couple. Many times you have a child and feel you do not want another (mostly because you just had one) and then 2 or 3 years later you really want another baby. Of course many times the choice cannot be left to deciding that way. Many times a couple could never afford another child, maybe there is a serious medical issue or genetic issue where a couple should not have another child etc.
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Old 03-27-2009, 03:26 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
546 posts, read 1,463,516 times
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I was done when my family felt complete. I can not offer anymore on this as it's just a personal feeling. But it just felt right. My husband got the same vibe so we were happy with 2 and thought that was the end of it.

I also hate hate hate being pregnant. I love the outcome, I adore the final masterpiece, but I just can't stand being pregnant. After #2 I swore up and down I didnt want to have to go through it again.

of course things didnt work out that way, and while waiting for the Mrs vasectemy appointment, we got an unexpected anniversary gift . Baby #3 is due in less than 3 months. We're very excited about #3 joining our family, but know even more so we are soooo done. Going from 2 to 3 throws a lot out at you you dont even think about until you're in that position: minivan, bigger house or trying to figure out how to bunk 2 siblings together without them staying up until the wee hours of the morning, etc.
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Old 03-27-2009, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 6,160,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post

When and how did YOU know you were done having children?
I am interested to know.

After the second set of twins.
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Old 03-27-2009, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Clayton, NC
502 posts, read 1,430,307 times
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We had a good feeling when the ultrasound revealed we were having a boy. Our first child is a girl.

The feeling got stronger about five months into the pregnancy when the sciatic nerve pains began. I had them almost everyday.

Now I'm nine months pregnant. We've been told our son will be here "any day now" for the past two weeks. Even my doctors are surprised that I haven't delivered. My back hurts, the slightest bit of salt forces me to wear bedroom slippers, and I feel like I'm carrying a bowling ball. I'm really not liking the guy that discovered Braxton Hicks contractions right now . I didn't experience anything like this with our daughter. This pregnancy has definitely been more physical. So we're almost 100% sure our family is complete. I don't know if I could do this again with two little ones in tow.
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