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Here's what I would do... I have two boys. If my son is straight, and just friends with a gay boy, I would allow it. If my son was gay, and the other boy is gay, I would not allow it. If my son was bi, and the other boy was gay, or vice versa, I would not allow it. Not that straight kids don't play around, but there seems to be less risk of it. Some sexual exploration is healthy, normal, and OK. Masturbating in private is totally normal and OK for kids to do. Some boys even talk about this with their friends, and that's normal and OK, too. But the kids need to know what lines they are not to cross. Parents need to establish these lines for them.
We have this book which shows pictures of things that can happen to your body from having unprotected sex - stuff that STD's give you. This book seems to have made quite an impression on our boys!
Also - anal and oral sex is something that needs to be discussed as well. Kids are having more anal and oral sex than ever right now because they think it's safer. It's NOT! They need to know this.
I hear you. I do. But encouraging it isn't something I'm willing to do. When it happens, it happens, but I'm not in my right mind if I encourage it.
And you're right, only your daughter isn't going to care one way or another what you think about it when she decides the time is right for her.
Ok. Still not what I said. And I think the opinion that your children are going to do what they want when they want is straight from the mouths of parents who had children who did so.
As I said before, If your children don't have the opportunity to have sex (being home alone, unsupervised sleepovers, parties and so on) not to mention having parents that talk openly about it and a father who stresses the importance of waiting and making them feel important, the chances of them doing so are slimMER!
And a CHILD is not ready. Most kids don't have sex when they are ready it is WAY before that.
I came from a large family. My mother waited til she she was 19, me and my sisters waited until marriage or after highschool. My brother waited until senior year and he had been dating the girl since freshman. My nieces all have rings from their fathers that are a promise to wait. They are all happy kids. We do ALOT of family FUN things that boyfriends and girlfriends are more that happy to join!
We had a party just last summer for all the teens in our family. It was all day and all night. A couple of us volunteered to do drive homes and some slept over. It helps when a parent is "in charge" AND a friend.
Here's what I would do... I have two boys. If my son is straight, and just friends with a gay boy, I would allow it. If my son was gay, and the other boy is gay, I would not allow it. If my son was bi, and the other boy was gay, or vice versa, I would not allow it. Not that straight kids don't play around, but there seems to be less risk of it. Some sexual exploration is healthy, normal, and OK. Masturbating in private is totally normal and OK for kids to do. Some boys even talk about this with their friends, and that's normal and OK, too. But the kids need to know what lines they are not to cross. Parents need to establish these lines for them.
We have this book which shows pictures of things that can happen to your body from having unprotected sex - stuff that STD's give you. This book seems to have made quite an impression on our boys!
Also - anal and oral sex is something that needs to be discussed as well. Kids are having more anal and oral sex than ever right now because they think it's safer. It's NOT! They need to know this.
Straight girls will "play around" more than straight boys.
Ok. Still not what I said. And I think the opinion that your children are going to do what they want when they want is straight from the mouths of parents who had children who did so.
As I said before, If your children don't have the opportunity to have sex (being home alone, unsupervised sleepovers, parties and so on) not to mention having parents that talk openly about it and a father who stresses the importance of waiting and making them feel important, the chances of them doing so are slimMER!
And a CHILD is not ready. Most kids don't have sex when they are ready it is WAY before that.
I came from a large family. My mother waited til she she was 19, me and my sisters waited until marriage or after highschool. My brother waited until senior year and he had been dating the girl since freshman. My nieces all have rings from their fathers that are a promise to wait. They are all happy kids. We do ALOT of family FUN things that boyfriends and girlfriends are more that happy to join!
We had a party just last summer for all the teens in our family. It was all day and all night. A couple of us volunteered to do drive homes and some slept over. It helps when a parent is "in charge" AND a friend.
Exactly! I waited until I was 20 and looking back I wish I had waited longer if anything. It is wrong to put teens in situations that enourage it, IMO.
Exactly! I waited until I was 20 and looking back I wish I had waited longer if anything. It is wrong to put teens in situations that enourage it, IMO.
I agree that some children will go ahead and do what they want anyhow but if you don't encourage it and don't set them up for it and support their other interests and personality and don't provide a place and time to do it, the chances are very slim.
I agree that some children will go ahead and do what they want anyhow but if you don't encourage it and don't set them up for it and support their other interests and personality and don't provide a place and time to do it, the chances are very slim.
Thanks for agreeing with something I said
I do agree that they shouldn't have sex. I also agree that parents should not provide a convenient time and place for it.
However, I don't agree that the chances are "very slim." Is the chance less? Yes. But the chance is still there no matter what.
Exactly! I waited until I was 20 and looking back I wish I had waited longer if anything. It is wrong to put teens in situations that enourage it, IMO.
I was 16 and am sorry I didn't get the chance sooner.
Ok. Still not what I said. And I think the opinion that your children are going to do what they want when they want is straight from the mouths of parents who had children who did so.
Not sure what this means.
Quote:
As I said before, If your children don't have the opportunity to have sex (being home alone, unsupervised sleepovers, parties and so on) not to mention having parents that talk openly about it and a father who stresses the importance of waiting and making them feel important, the chances of them doing so are slimMER!
And a CHILD is not ready. Most kids don't have sex when they are ready it is WAY before that.
I came from a large family. My mother waited til she she was 19, me and my sisters waited until marriage or after highschool. My brother waited until senior year and he had been dating the girl since freshman. My nieces all have rings from their fathers that are a promise to wait. They are all happy kids. We do ALOT of family FUN things that boyfriends and girlfriends are more that happy to join!
What's more, to monitor a teen 24/7 means you don't trust them. It isn't the teen who is not having sex, it's the parent not trusting the teen to use good judgement. There's a difference. If you choose to never trust your daughter to not have sex and watch her like a hawk 24/7, then it isn't her that is being 'good'. She never would have the oppotunity to use her own judgement.
You don't know as fact that no one in your family has not had sex as you believe they haven't. Do you actually think that they would cop to it in a family like that? Heck no. They would deny it so they aren't scorned. LOL
I am not for teen sex, but I am also not so naive that I believe I can stop it if a teen is determined.
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