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It's good practice. Kids need to learn about a bullying world. When they grow up, they will be bullied by employers, police, landlords, cable companies, the media.
It's good practice. Kids need to learn about a bullying world. When they grow up, they will be bullied by employers, police, landlords, cable companies, the media.
Only the cable company....that's why I no longer have cable...
Politically correct America + ignorant, arrogant, blind parents who think their kids can do no wrong: the stuff we see here.
Maybe that's why some traditional societies might just be better in this aspect: they let kids fight it out and let the parents get involved, sometimes against the bully him/herself. Oh no, a father can't avenge his beaten/abused son/daughter.
Again: stupid, ignorant, blind, so-called "civilized" American society.
MichaelBC: I hope it all works out for your son. Good luck.
And why don't you go to the family of the kid and have a "chat" with the boy? I think he'll crap in his pants if you only glare at him.
not being a wise ass - I feel for you and your son. It must be frustrating because your instincts as a father and as a man probably make you want to beat up that bully yourself.
His family is sure doing a great job of raising their kid.
It's good practice. Kids need to learn about a bullying world. When they grow up, they will be bullied by employers, police, landlords, cable companies, the media.
'As a man thinketh'.
Fortunately, there are some, hopefully many who are civilized/cooperative. In good conscious I could not, would not keep this from my child. No, you will not get 'far' or be effective/successful with those ideas. Certainly, know the laws, know your own responsibilities and then comes the 'hard' part--I don't have a good answer. Try to keep your life at the molehill level.
'Fight Club', 'Mean Girls' and all the rest. The Amish may have the right ideas.
Gosh, I hate school bullying. My son is all grown up but when he was in High School, he had a bullying situation going on that we talked about non stop it seemed. My son in his freshman year was 6'1" and 225 pounds, so size has no meaning when it comes to bullying. The kid who was bullying him? 5'7" and maybe 140 lbs if that. This kid was a running back on the school football team and my son was an offensive tackle..go figure!! My son kept telling me that he didn't want to hurt this kid so he was trying to walk away, trying to talk to the coach..nothing worked. One day, this little guy comes up to my son and starts his crap again...my son said to him, "Are you insane? Look at me!" Then he said to this kid..."I have put up with you bullying me this whole year and know what, I am done." He then took this kid by his collar, pushed him inside of a gym locker and shut the door!! I was not happy it got physical and it is a shame it had to come to this point. My son sat the rest of the class in the coaches office, this kid...he never bothered my son again. Oh, eventually someone let the little Nit out of the locker...sigh.
Whether a kid has a Dad or not doesn't make a difference in how he treats other people. I raised my son without his Dad from the time he was 11 years old. I had double duty. Had to teach him to take care of himself plus had to instill in him how to treat other people. It was tough but thank God he ended up learning both. In a broken marriage whichever parent is left with the responsibility of raising the children, they have to care more about the children then they do their own personal issues..it can be tough but not impossible.
What can you do? It seems to me you have done everything you should have, talked to everyone you should have and if this stuff continues...try the legal route. This child is just not going to stop. Does the bully's parent know what he is doing? Do you know what kind of a "story" the bully is telling his parent? Personally, I would want a meeting with the bully and his parent and you and your son...all of you face to face and have the teacher and superintendent in on it as well.
I really hope that everything is working out for your son and like another poster said I feel for you too because as a parent its very difficult to take someone hurting your child....
If i were in your situation in the very first incident I would of course start with counselor, teachers, parents and principal... if that didnt settle it then i would go the route that I believe Pondlady suggested.... (I would definiatly tell my child that they have the right to defend themselves I dont care if they get in trouble at school demand that the school call me... he might have to be suspended at school but at home he'll be having a party.. I dont advocate violence I advocate defending yourself) right letters and go to the Board of Education. I would also document every single incident, call, letter whatever it is so in case something does happend to my child it will be clear that is due to the negligence of the school....
Is this bully also picking on other kids? If the bully is also picking on other kids, do you maybe know their folks so that you all could talk and go in together to the principal's office? If you all went in as one large group to complain it could be a bit more effective as the principal can see that this bully is effecting more than one student.
When I suggested documenting every altercation, I also hope that your son can give you names of any other kids who were standing near by or might have witnessed it. Also, I would suggest that your son possibly carry some sort of recording device, like a small pocket recorder that he can turn on when he sees the bully aproaching. This will also be valuable as well, whether it can leagally be used in a courtroom I do not know, but it can be listened to by the principal or any other school personnel.
I would normally suggest the letting your child defend himself, like others have suggested. 10-20 years ago, that would have worked and that would be that. But in today's times I would be more concerned about legal ramifications if your son did so. In other words your son could get into more trouble than the bully and your family could get sued.
That is why, I suggested that you take it the next step up above the principal and if that doesn't resolve the issue take it to the authorities. Maybe this bully and his mother could use a does of reality that can come from having an officer knocking on their door.
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School Bullying
