inappropriate adoption (teenagers, weigh, support, parents)

[babypeaches]

I have a friend and he and his wife have adopted 5 children The couple is white and the children are all black. They are very loving and attentive parents, yet they have caught a lot of flack for the adoptions, both from whites and blacks.

Do you think that children should only be adopted by people from the same ethinic group? Why?

[TouchOfWhimsy]

No. Children need good parents, and the color of one's skin is not a criteria.

I assume that one reason that so many black and biracial children are adopted by white parents is because maybe there are not enough black adoptive parents to take them? If that is the case, then what would the nay-sayers say should happen to the black children? Should they be denied adoptive familes because the adoption agency cannot find suitable parents who have the same skin color?

[okpondlady]

I think they should butt out.. it is none of their business. As long as they love and care for them it is better for a child to be adopted.

[Inthesierras]

You have to ask yourself what is better for the child. Is being bounced around in foster care with no love and stability the best option or being adopted by a couple that is a different ethnic background? For me it is simple, a loving family that lasts forever is priceless. If people have a problem with it, that is just what it is, their problem.

[LisaMc46]

I live in a Northern state where it's very common for white families to adopt black children. My understanding is that there aren't enough black families here to adopt all of the children that need homes.

While I believe that it would be easier for a child to have parents that are of the same racial background, I think that it's better for a child to be raised by parents of a different race than to spend years in the foster care system.

That being said, I think it's important for white parents to keep their black children connected to their cultural heritage. I know one couple who does this by exposing their children to other black children and adults, black history, trips to cities with strong African American infuences, etc. The children seem happy and well adjusted. I know another couple that hasn't done this at all. Their children are now teenagers and will sometimes accuse them of being ignorant or racist.

There is a great fiction book about interracial adoption called the "Buffalo Soldiers." It was written by Vermont author Chris Bojahlian who did extensive research on the subject. It's a good read for anyone who is contemplating interracial adoption.

[NYMD67]

As a caucasian parent of 2 Chinese Children I would also say that the people making those statements should mind their own business.
The color of someone's skin or their ethnic background should not matter...
That is horrible.

[cherry251]

I think it is fine. There's nothing wrong with a family being of a mixed race.

[happeemommee]

Of course it's best for them to be adopted by a loving and caring parents, regardless of their color! I don't understand how anyone could think it would be better for kids to be in a foster home or a group home just because those adopting aren't the same color as the children they are adopting.

[colleeng47]

My family is Irish. Among myself and my siblings we have married/adopted: Phillipino, Italian, German, Polish, Canadian Indian, Middle Eastern Indian, Marshall Islandese, African American and (now waiting for) Chinese.

When we get together it's like the United Nations. Every child is relatively happy and well adjusted. The color of a child's skin is my last consideration in adoption.

[flik_becky]

In my home town, when I was a young child, there was white family who had close friends who were black up from their home for a visit. They knew each other well and where very close, like family. On their way back home, there was a tragic accident that took the lives of the parents. The white family, knowing the children better than most, adopted them.

I'm sure they got some slack because of it but imagine if these children were forced to be adopted by strangers just cause they didn't "match" those two people who loved them so much and were able to directly relate to the loss they would feel for the rest of their lives. Who would be best to cope with these challenges and be able to truly speak for the parents who were no longer there to do it?

They may get some slack, but when you weigh that slack, which is usually a short term reaction mixed with an occasion outsiders shock through the years, against the thanks yous and I love you from children who grow up happy and appreciate the sacrifices made for them, do you really think it will be a long term issue? Especially if these children are in any way siblings from the same family. If it was a pair of white parents willing to make a much bigger sacrifice knowing that the children would be better kept together, that would make me even more proud of them.

They need your support, not just the parents but the children too. Reach out to them or, as everyone else here is saying, butt out. They don't need any more challenges right now.