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Old 03-30-2007, 02:03 PM
 
4,781 posts, read 1,930,782 times
Reputation: 4017

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My Oldest son is 15.
I snooped on his my space. I found out a couple interesting things.

1) There were two different girls (age 15) talking very dirty to him.
The girls wanted to meet up after school.


2) Last weekend my son went to a sleep over. I have always felt comfortable with my son spending the night there .
We know the parents and they are both school teachers.
We'll the school teachers son stole a bottle of booze and all the boys (the 5 boys my son has hung out with since grade school) got drunk, except for my son.
I know this because the boys (on my space were calling my son a chicken for not drinking).

I feel like pulling my son out of school, turning off the phone and internet and locking my son in his room .

Do you have any other suggestions?
Should I call the boys and girls parents?
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
22,679 posts, read 16,768,161 times
Reputation: 17523
Not having been a parent, I'm not sure how to advise you on this one. However, I will congratulate you on a son who has enough smarts and courage to stand up to his friends and not drink.
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Miami. Florida
942 posts, read 2,328,998 times
Reputation: 892
Default Lessons learned

Quote:
Originally Posted by DBNN View Post
My Oldest son is 15.
I snooped on his my space. I found out a couple interesting things.

1) There were two different girls (age 15) talking very dirty to him.
The girls wanted to meet up after school.


2) Last weekend my son went to a sleep over. I have always felt comfortable with my son spending the night there .
We know the parents and they are both school teachers.
We'll the school teachers son stole a bottle of booze and all the boys (the 5 boys my son has hung out with since grade school) got drunk, except for my son.
I know this because the boys (on my space were calling my son a chicken for not drinking).

I feel like pulling my son out of school, turning off the phone and internet and locking my son in his room .

Do you have any other suggestions?

Should I call the boys and girls parents?

Having three teenage boys I could tell you been there done that. I would talk to the parents to make them aware of what happened in there home. I would not however pull him out of schoo, turn off ht ephone or unplug the internet. You son could've of chosen to drink with the other boys he didn't. You taught him well...peer presure is terriable....he made a wise decision. Applaud him for that. I would continue to monitor him, without him realizing (this is when we become private eyes). Always check his room without his knowledge and double check with who, what, where and why. Our children have big obstacles ahead of them in this day and age and you would perfer him comming to you than keeping things from you. If you punish him what would you punish him for??? Not drinking?? He was not going to rat out his friends to you or there parents however as a parent we have the responsibility of letting the other parent know what happened in there home. You son will not like you for that one but he will get over it. Hope that helped.

By the way my sons are 18, 17 and the youngest will be 16 on June 2nd.
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Johns Island, SC
797 posts, read 2,695,809 times
Reputation: 1090
You are in a very typical situation for todays teens. My advice, stop take a breath and pray. Your son has been convicted enough to say no to the drinking thing, but it is your responsibility to protect and guide him as the chosen steward of his life. You are his parent and you know what is best for him. Do NOT over react, but you must act. Your son may be a light to his friends in an otherwise very dark place, talk to him and get his perspective on the situation. He may already have the wisdom to know what to do.
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:19 PM
 
Location: N.Y.C.
658 posts, read 2,186,485 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by DBNN View Post
My Oldest son is 15.
I snooped on his my space. I found out a couple interesting things.

1) There were two different girls (age 15) talking very dirty to him.
The girls wanted to meet up after school.


2) Last weekend my son went to a sleep over. I have always felt comfortable with my son spending the night there .
We know the parents and they are both school teachers.
We'll the school teachers son stole a bottle of booze and all the boys (the 5 boys my son has hung out with since grade school) got drunk, except for my son.
I know this because the boys (on my space were calling my son a chicken for not drinking).



I feel like pulling my son out of school, turning off the phone and internet and locking my son in his room .

Do you have any other suggestions?
Should I call the boys and girls parents?
if you dont want him to have the myspace page you can always have it taken down it tells you how to do that in the help section
as for the parents unless they have a lock on there alcohol and there son picked it thats pretty careless to just leave alcohol lying around when they know theres gonna be a group of teenagers home alone if it was me i would be so mad about that
and yes i would tell the other parents about it they have a right to know
just dont tell him he cant hang around with those kids anymore cause then he would really hate you cause after all he didnt drink
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:20 PM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,628,123 times
Reputation: 2236
Quote:
Originally Posted by DBNN View Post
My Oldest son is 15.
I snooped on his my space. I found out a couple interesting things.

1) There were two different girls (age 15) talking very dirty to him.
The girls wanted to meet up after school.


2) Last weekend my son went to a sleep over. I have always felt comfortable with my son spending the night there .
We know the parents and they are both school teachers.
We'll the school teachers son stole a bottle of booze and all the boys (the 5 boys my son has hung out with since grade school) got drunk, except for my son.
I know this because the boys (on my space were calling my son a chicken for not drinking).

I feel like pulling my son out of school, turning off the phone and internet and locking my son in his room .

Do you have any other suggestions?
Should I call the boys and girls parents?
I am a parent too (and school teacher!) and here is what I would do:

Obviously your son made the right choices, despite peer pressure and didn't give in. I wouldn't at ALL punish him. In fact, I would reward him-honestly.I would do something special for him because that took more courage to resist, than it did to drink, and I would want him to know that respected him for that...it is building up trust, and I would want him to keep on making the right choices in the future. So I wouldn't punish him.

I also wouldn't let him sleep over one of their houses. AND, I also wouldn't tell on the boys. They could hate your son. Now yes, if my son was doing this, I would want to be told. I would tell your son to tell the boys that his mother found out, he doesn't know how she did (so he won't be on the sh&t list with them), is NOT telling on them...but the next time she ever finds out ANYTHING, then she will. This is a warning.

I remember being 15, and I too remember stealing alcohol from my parents, I remember my friends doing it...I remember getting "runners" (adults) to go buy us beer. I am admitting it is wrong, but unfortunately most teenages do these things. Luckily your son did not.
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Where the real happy cows reside!
4,281 posts, read 9,278,761 times
Reputation: 10414
Kudos to your 15 year old son for having the sense not to be pressured into thinking that drinking was the cool thing to do. Just shows that your parenting skills are up there ... so kudos to you!

If you have a good relationship with your teen (and it sounds like you do), step it up a notch. Get more involved without being too intrusive. He already knows the boundaries by the sounds of it.

Good luck!
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Where the real happy cows reside!
4,281 posts, read 9,278,761 times
Reputation: 10414
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrshvo View Post
I am a parent too (and school teacher!) and here is what I would do:

Obviously your son made the right choices, despite peer pressure and didn't give in. I wouldn't at ALL punish him. In fact, I would reward him-honestly.I would do something special for him because that took more courage to resist, than it did to drink, and I would want him to know that respected him for that...it is building up trust, and I would want him to keep on making the right choices in the future. So I wouldn't punish him.

I also wouldn't let him sleep over one of their houses. AND, I also wouldn't tell on the boys. They could hate your son. Now yes, if my son was doing this, I would want to be told. I would tell your son to tell the boys that his mother found out, he doesn't know how she did (so he won't be on the sh&t list with them), is NOT telling on them...but the next time she ever finds out ANYTHING, then she will. This is a warning.

I remember being 15, and I too remember stealing alcohol from my parents, I remember my friends doing it...I remember getting "runners" (adults) to go buy us beer. I am admitting it is wrong, but unfortunately most teenages do these things. Luckily your son did not.
I hope to "God" my son has such a good role model as you in a teacher when he is in his late teens. Awesome advice IMO.
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:31 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
985 posts, read 2,550,843 times
Reputation: 812
My son is now 28, this is bringing back alot of memories. You need to be all over them like a cheap suit!!! Do alot of praying!!! I think you are getting alot of good advice frm everyone here!!! Good luck
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Old 03-30-2007, 02:47 PM
 
7,047 posts, read 15,990,548 times
Reputation: 4408
Monitor his computer use and, if you have to, GET RID of that My Space website. Those girls could (didn't say would) get him into trouble. Also, remember that some websites can/are monitored by law enforcement......don't let your boy get into trouble with them.
You sound like you have a "good boy" with a "good head" on his shoulders, but, depending on what he is thinking about when he reads those girls statements, that "good boy, good head" could go "bad" and you don't need that.
Talk with you boy and see what he says to you. If he does get mad at you for looking on his computer, just say "this is my house and I make the rules, PERIOD". "If I choose to look on your computer or anywhere else in your room, that is just the way things will be. I want to trust you in what you are looking at on the computer, but "My Space" is not a trustworthy website.
Any parent can/should be nice and loving to their kids, but there are times when that "nice loving parent" thing must change some for certain situations.
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