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Is there an actual parenting question here somewhere? You know, a question or comment that has to do with parenting - that thing that most of us in this forum, regardless of our race, do? How most of us would react if our spouse/partner/other family member were found to be molesting our children has been addressed quite eloquently by several posters. I'm guessing that those responses pretty much cover how a majority of us feel - regardless of the race of the poster, the offender or the victim.
First of all, I am white a woman and a mother. My ex-husband and sperm donor to my two oldest children was abusive to me, though he never laid a hand on my children. I left him when I found out I was pregnant with #2. Boy, am I glad I did. He ended up hooking up with his cousin's ex-wife, and was caring for her son. There were some very ugly, very violent allegatrions and some nasty felony charges that came out of that relationship, and the acts were against the two-year-old boy. The son that resulted from that second pregnancy was the same age as his victim. I was so against him being around the kids, that at one point, I was arrested and ended up in the county clink for a while for withholding visitation. I'd do it all again. He never hurt my children, because I never gave him the chance. He finally gave up after being required to have supervised visits (after being released from prison on unrelated charges). Seems he didn't like other people chaperoning him, so he just disappeared. We actually lived in the same town for years before we moved when my DH got transferred. He avoided me an dthe lids like the plague. I think he knew better. So yes, to answer the question, I'd do whatever necessary, breadwinner or not, to keep my children away from someone, ever their "father" (term used loosely), who I was well aware had that kind of capability lurking within them.
As to stereotypes: Actually, I think most pedophiles I've been aware of were white males. Stereotypes are silly to make, yes, but they generally start somewhere. I am not a racist by any means. I think OJ did it, I think Michael Vick is, to some extent, a victim of the way he was raised, and does seem to be trying to making up for wrongs he has perpetrated, now that he knows he's wrong, and I don't believe that the mystery man," who is black, had anything to do wtih Hayleigh Cummings' disapperance, just so you all know where I'm coming from. Here's a frightening stereotype that I do tend to believe in: Blacks commit dumb crimes, whites commit crazy crimes. That means that generally speaking, if a crime that is obviously just a stupid, didn't think before I did it thing (ie momentary lapse in judgement), vandalism, petty theft, mob action, etc, I'd be looking for a teenager(s)--any color--or a black perpetrator. Profiling? Maybe. Speaking from experience? Definitely. People that do these things are not necessarily bad people, but maybe even got caught up in the excitement of the moment, or maybe just didn't stop to think before they acted. That doesn't make them evil, just impulsive. Now, if we're talking about a mass-murder, serial killings, a serial rapist, or, yes, pedophilia/molestation, then I'd be looking for a white male first. These are crimes that are not commited by mentally stable people. That's not usually a spur of the moment decision... these things are generally planned and executed with a great deal of thought. Those people are evil.
Just my humble point of view.
Oh, and I think xeno is really just trying to find another person that agrees with their viewpoint. I don't think they're really trying to cause trouble, or there wouldn't be so many passionate replies from them. It's an open forum. Isn't that what it's here for?
(Now that that's said, lets al enjoy the weekend! LOL )
If I found out my DH was a pediphile or had touched my kids in anyway sexual, I'd nail his nuts to the floor of and old wood shack and set the thing on fire and only give him a butter knife to escape with.
I have really serious doubts about the mental health of anybody who could even make up a scenario about torturing a human being like that. I think your kids ought to be protected from YOU.
I have really serious doubts about the mental health of anybody who could even make up a scenario about torturing a human being like that. I think your kids ought to be protected from YOU.
I have taken a couple of mental eveluations and none of the physcatrists felt there was anything wrong with my mental health Thank-you very much. I didn't take them because I had too, I took them as a way to protect myself and my son from my abusive ex husband who was trying to get custody of my son any way he could which including a lot of lying about my me and my mental health. He on the other hand didn't do so well with his mental evaluations.
If you think that what I would do to a sicko who touched my children is torture, then you have no idea what torture is. Don't think for one moment that what a sicko does to a child isn't torture.
I have really serious doubts about the mental health of anybody who could even make up a scenario about torturing a human being like that. I think your kids ought to be protected from YOU.
Came back and talk to us once you have been sexually abused and then maybe you will have something to say that deserves notice.
Until then:
I would rather shoot their nuts off myself.
That being said, the night my ex took off with my then 14-month old daughter, mostly because I was naieve enough to meet him alone in the first place, a good friend of mine actually did take a loaded gun away from my mother, who was headed out the door to get her granddaughter back. Occasionally, I wonder if we shouldn't just have let her go do it... But instead, I HAD to go have someone "do the right thing..." WWJD? I think he's have stopped her, too. People like this guy are just not worth the jail time it would cost to take care of them. I did what I needed to do to take care of my own, and went no further.
Maybe I should have. It wasn't until a couple years later he hurt that little boy.
~D
Last edited by jtjmom; 04-18-2009 at 02:26 PM..
Reason: additional information
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
1,851 posts, read 2,144,796 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by xenourtv
Most of you if you are walking down the street by yourself or with children would probably cling onto your handbag, purse, or your child's hand if you see black man walking through your path because of how the media negatively stereotypes black man.
Oh yes, black people are so scarey
"Well lookey there Bubba, there's on of them there black folk. Lets hold onto our wallets"
That's interesting, because I walk by black folks all the time not only with my kids by my side, but also by myself. Not once have I ever felt fear.
Even though when I lived in New Jersey I was held-up at gunpoint, by two black punks (guys). Fortunately, I'm well aware that not all black people are thugs and punks. Just the ones that listen to "Gansta' Rap and Thug Hip-Hop"
I cling to my little sons hands wherever I go with them, for several reasons. One, so they don't go running off into the street and into traffic.
Two, so they don't get lost in a crowd.
I think you're living in a fantasy world where you think white people are deathly afraid of black people.
Maybe I should take a page from your book of silliness and ask stupid questions.....
" Geee xenourtv, why is it so many black men, black women and black teenagers are arrested every day for violent crimes? Why are black people committing 80% of the crimes? "
" Hey xenourtv, maybe if black men didn't abandon their children, wives and girlfriends all the time; maybe you'd be around to molest your children. Instead of running off to knock-up the next 13 or 14 year old girl you come across"
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
1,851 posts, read 2,144,796 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by xenourtv
The FBI had a statistic that 80% of the pedophiles they convict are Non -Hispanic white men.
That's not proof. That's you claiming it's a fact.
Where's the link to this study and statistical results?
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