Shy child with stomach aches-What do I do?

[haggardhouseelf]

Have you talked to his doctor/pediatrician about this? That would be my first step. A behavioral therapist would be a good next step.

[haggardhouseelf]

Oh - also - bananas. My oldest son started getting stomach aches all the time a few years ago. We couldn't figure out what it was. We took him to the doctor and had tests done, we were just about to meet with the behavioral therapist to see if it was stress or anxiety related.... when he realized that it happened every time he ate a banana. He stays away from bananas now and he's been fine since.

[FiveHorses]

Originally Posted by boilrmkr

I do ask him what is wrong but he is the "nothing/I don't know" type.

Here I am at home today after the phone call feeling so bad and wondering if I should have gone to pick him up and is he still crying etc. and of course when I picked him up from school at the end of the day he was happy as a clam!

This must be so very hard for you, not to mention confusing.

But in asking a nine year old "what's wrong" you have to realise that a nine year may very well NOT be able to identify it or even have the vocabulary to express it. His "muddle" of emotions may very well be just that - a muddle that he can't put into words or even be able to identify as being there. After all, if you think about it, how would a nine year old be able to explain, for example, a panic attack?

Is there anyone you can talk to that could help you find a way of being able to communicate more effectively with him? Check your medical insurance - a lot of times they'll provide telephone counseling or something similar that you could avail of.

The fact that it is a constant see-saw leaves you not knowing what to do, how to tackle it - I appreciate that. That's why I think that it's really important that in the first instance you get advice for you. If nothing else, it should help with the "do I go get him or not" side of the equation.

[boilrmkr]

Originally Posted by yodi

He sounds like a sensitive little boy. I found this article, and book to be very insightful into "shy" or "sensitive" kids.

Parenting A Highly Sensitive Child
The Highly Sensitive Child

Again, are the stomach aches new or has he always complained about them?

I think I am going to go to the bookstore today and get some shy child books. He isn't so shy he can't function or isn't social but he is very sensitive and cries easily. I asked if anything bad happened at school and the only thing he said was that his friend that he sits next to at lunch went home in the morning so at lunch there was a space between him and the other kids and he didn't have anyone to talk to. There was a girl across from him so that isn't good either.
I asked if there was anything he was sad about and he said he didn't want his Grandparents to leave last weekend and the previous weekend his other grandparents and an aunt and cousins were here and he didn't want them to leave either.

I think he also just gets tired of going to school. The kids are there 7 hours a day. He likes the school, teacher and kids but it is just such a long day. I hate hearing the government talking about making the school day longer. I think it is too long as it is.

He was really happy the rest of the day. He had a great time at soccer practice.

He has complained of stomach aches since the beginning of the school year and I think he did that last year too. He went to a school he didn't like last year, we moved to a new state in July, we moved into an apartment while our house was on the market, we just moved into a new house 2 months ago, he will be going to a new school next year. That's a lot going on.

I really think he is just tired of being at school all of the time and he really likes to be at home.

[Dorthy]

Good luck to you! I was a shy, senstitve kid and am now a parent of a shy sensitive kid. I found the book "The Highly Sensitive Child" to be enlightening. It focuses on the positive aspects of being sensitive and gives some good ideas on how to handle it from a parent's perspective.