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Old 04-30-2009, 08:20 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelly Nomad View Post
I'd be delighted to tell you how!

If you look at the bottom of most posts, you'll see 3 buttons on the right-hand side (if you're looking at your own posts, you'll see a 4th button, marked Edit as well). The biggest one says "Quote" and is the one with which you're already familiar . The middle one looks like a page with big quotation marks and a little plus sign on it. That's the one you need to use to make multi-part quotes.

Simply click that middle button on as many different posts as you're interested in quoting from. When you have enough, press the regular Reply button. That will open up a Reply box with all the quotes you tagged, ready for you to add your comments.

Hope that helps!

Oh, and by the way, that third bottom button? It allows you to do a Quick Reply. A Quick Reply a short Reply box right then and there (without taking you to a separate page). I don't think you can do as many edits on a Quick Reply as you can with a regular, full-blown Reply.
Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it.
Now, let's keep arguing. LOL Just kidding

You have a great day.
El Amigo

 
Old 04-30-2009, 08:45 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by colleeng47 View Post
Not necessarily so. I come from a long line of "no spankers" going back to my mom who was born in the 1930s, and who was never hit by her parents. I doubt her mother knew what self esteem even meant. We just don't hit; never felt the need to.

I know it's hard for those of you who use corporal punishment to understand how some of us don't see the need for spankings. We are not raising brats, we just find other ways to deal with misbehavior.
You are correct, not necessarily so. That also means that it can be. Also, a long line of no spankers is not enough to prove the other point wrong.
Also, you also made an all inclusive statement that does not apply to me. It is a common reaction to disagreement, to lump everybody and label everybody that see something different than you do. In this case you stated "I know it's hard for those of you who use corporal punishment to understand how some of us don't see the need for spankings." That does not apply to me. I am speaking for me even though it does seem to me does not apply to others though. It is not hard for me to understand and yet you state it as you know that for a fact. I never stated such thing. Making assumptions as facts may be an indicator of simply making an assessment on the individuals for not agreeing with you. That has nothing to do that addresses the point to be either right or wrong or correct or incorrect. I do not make any comments on you due to your views differing from mine.
Also, you if you read my statement closely I wrote and I paste it again. I wrote "I do believe part of the 'no spanking' mentality is due ..." Notice I said "part". It means that it does not apply to everybody. Also if you re-read my message I have never stated spanking is a requirement. I have repeated it is an option and a last resort when necessary. Did you read that part?
Also "We are not raising brats, we just find other ways to deal with misbehavior." Why state this? I never said that if people do not spank will raise brats. To me it is a statement that may be an indicator you took at personal that was not need to be that way because I never made a personal assesment of you. Again, re-read what I stated above and I used the word "part". It seems you may have taken my statement personaly as I just wrote. That usually happens when people do not agree with others and take things as personal attacks when in this case I am talking about not spanking as part of something bigger. Just as I wrote that spanking can be done under the caring and loving environment it can work, not spanking under the improper environment can give the wrong signal to kids also.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
 
Old 05-01-2009, 02:01 AM
 
Location: NC
484 posts, read 1,175,953 times
Reputation: 400
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
Because I loved my child and even though I felt I was doing her a the right type of dicipline I hurt spanking a girl I loved so much. It is kind of interesting because now that you asked and I am now writing this I felt the emotion coming back again, no I am not crying but I have the same feeling in my eyes.

I guess when they call it tough love it applies to both the child and the parent. That is as best as I can describe it.
Well, maybe another example may help. I do not know your children's ages but if you ever had to deny them something and they cried or hurt, you did feel something, right? At least I did even though I knew I was making the right decision. That is as best as I can describe it.
It is possible that if I had sons I probably did not feel the emotion as much as with a girl. Those girls are my world and my life.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
if your crying about spanking your kids like that, than maybe there is something wrong and deep down inside you know your doing something wrong. i dont feel any guilt when i discipline my child. i use words.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 02:11 AM
 
Location: NC
484 posts, read 1,175,953 times
Reputation: 400
i guess i find it odd that we teach our kids to do unto others as you would like them to do unto you, and how you should not be violent to others. but yet some parents are beating their children to try to get them to listen to them out of fear. we also teach them.. at least i do, that nobody should violate their personal space, but yet they are getting their pants pulled down by their own parents to hit them with belts?

there are people that say they hit their kids when they are calm, and not feeling irrational to punish them. i dont know anyone who has ever acted in a violent way when they were feeling rational, do you?
 
Old 05-01-2009, 05:52 AM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,191,291 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamsncharms View Post
i dont know anyone who has ever acted in a violent way when they were feeling rational, do you?
I don't classify moderate corporal punishment as "violent." But apart from that, unless one is a total pacifist, one accepts that there are times when even some use of violence is "rational"--and what you are feeling internally at the time you are doing it is irrelevant.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 06:20 AM
 
Location: Here... for now
1,747 posts, read 2,618,878 times
Reputation: 1208
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
...Just as I wrote that spanking can be done under the caring and loving environment it can work (this is the basic point on which we are at complete opposites, El Amigo), not spanking under the improper environment can give the wrong signal to kids also (and on this one, I agree -- believe it or not, El Amigo have found common ground! Yay!)
I believe many parents who spank consider themselves to be caring, compassionate people, and I'd suspect most are. I'd imagine most truly want to do right by their children. It's just, in my opinion, they are misguided in their choice of discipline method. To me, there is simply no justification whatsoever for hitting a child. Ever. They don't "deserve" it, they don't "earn" it, they don't "need" it.

By the same token, in my opinion, being a non-spanker does not give a parent a free pass to not teach discipline. Helping a child learn self-discipline is a vital role of parents. Those who throw up their hands and do nothing (no spanking, no time out, no restriction, no groundings, denial, no correction or guidance whatsoever) do just about as much disservice to the child as those who spank.

Responsible, caring non-spanking families do not shirk their duty to discipline. They do not feel as if hitting can co-exist with a nurturing, caring environment. In short, they use other, non-violent techniques to help their children grow and develop.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Ohio
2,178 posts, read 7,797,556 times
Reputation: 3890
My Dad was very patriotic.
He laid on the stripes and I saw stars.

I'm 62 yrs old now and remember times I hated him for doing what he thought was right to correct me. That was the way it was back then.
Now I see kids with no respect, no discipline, no manners, and no reason to expect any punishment for any actions they know is wrong.

I wish there were more patriotic parents.
I never got any broken bones, stitches, or scars.
But I got discipline. And I got it after the first time I didn't do what I was told, not after 3 or 4, or counting to 10, or any other artificial threats that I knew he didn't mean.
I'm glad I was raised when parents were still the boss. Although I didn't know it at the time, it eventually made me a better person and now I thank them for being parents instead of wishy washy people that let some little dumb kid take control of them instead of them taking control of me to teach me right from wrong in such a way that left a lasting impression to do whats right.
Yes, they were strict and punishment was instant. But they were fair and I can't say I ever got a whooping I didn't deserve. I have no regrets and today I'm glad I was raised that way. Too many of todays kids are pampered, coddled, and protected to the point of never having to learn responsibility for bad behavior.
That is not a good thing. Thankfully, there are still some who have been taught respect, honor, discipline, without the need of the old ways of discipline. But there are still some who need a little more persuasion and parents who have enough back bone to carry out some needed discipline.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,098,007 times
Reputation: 1646
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
I am in my early 50s and remember the days when parents were not your friends but in many cases your worst nightmare. I remember parents of some of my friends were really scary and if you crossed them they would come at you hard. One parent liked to use his belt on the kids and when they did wrong he had a system where they pulled down their pants and the belt was used to give them a real whooping. I can still remember the yells and screams of the kids as the belt hit their buts!So, do parents use a belt anymore on their kids?
Gheese Louise, I hope that no parent out there uses a belt on their kid. I am a product of a brutal father who used a belt, his hands, his fists, his feet to kick me and more. I can feel the sting to this day on my backside or across my legs from him beating on me. I can still see me curled up in a fetal position trying to deflect the blows...it was miserable. I never not ever laid a hand on my son because of all this and he grew up just fine...I truly hope that no parent ever feels the need to beat on their kid not ever!
 
Old 05-01-2009, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,098,007 times
Reputation: 1646
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
I don't classify moderate corporal punishment as "violent." But apart from that, unless one is a total pacifist, one accepts that there are times when even some use of violence is "rational"--and what you are feeling internally at the time you are doing it is irrelevant.
Corporal punishment whether mild or severe does not belong within the family environment...I am sorry...it is called Corporal punishment because its origin is MILITARY. A sure fired way to get your kids to hate you is to lay your hands on them while in the midst of a rage whether it be a mild adult tantrum on your part or a full blown hissy fit...walk away from your kids. There are better ways to discipline a child than hitting them. I was beaten as a child...it was Corporal punishment beyond any reasonable doubt.

There were 5 of us, all girls and our Dad use to line us up in the yard military style and make us pick up every little piece of paper, hunk of gum, stick or stone that didn't belong there. Do you know how embarrassing that was??? He had issues beyond any issue you could possibly come up with and I was the first to tell him to his face that I truly hated what he was doing and hated him....

Look, my case is severe to say the least. Kids can and will push every button you have and then look for more....take away their IPods, cell phones, ground them, make them do extra chores but keep your hands to yourself....it only makes things worse for everyone if you do hit them.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 07:23 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,973,454 times
Reputation: 42369
I don't disagree with what you say above, Pam, but I just want to point out that "corporal" just means "bodily." It has the same roots as "corpse." So corporal punishment just means physical punishment, punishment of the body.

Carry on!
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