U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 05-01-2009, 02:19 PM
 
833 posts, read 4,369,988 times
Reputation: 969

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelly Nomad View Post
Totally uncalled for, and unless I'm mistaken, a violation of C-D's ToS (personal attacks are not permitted). I'm not a mod so I have no authority here, but as a fellow C-D user, I'm politely requesting that you tone down the abrasiveness of your posts.

Disagree with people all you want, but please do it civilly.
I agree. It sounds like you certainly would NOT be a good candidate to discipline children with using words. You can't even hold a civil conversation with adults.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 02:26 PM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 7,817,526 times
Reputation: 1596
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
You are correct, not necessarily so. That also means that it can be. Also, a long line of no spankers is not enough to prove the other point wrong.
Also, you also made an all inclusive statement that does not apply to me. It is a common reaction to disagreement, to lump everybody and label everybody that see something different than you do. In this case you stated "I know it's hard for those of you who use corporal punishment to understand how some of us don't see the need for spankings." That does not apply to me. I am speaking for me even though it does seem to me does not apply to others though. It is not hard for me to understand and yet you state it as you know that for a fact. I never stated such thing. Making assumptions as facts may be an indicator of simply making an assessment on the individuals for not agreeing with you. That has nothing to do that addresses the point to be either right or wrong or correct or incorrect. I do not make any comments on you due to your views differing from mine.
Also, you if you read my statement closely I wrote and I paste it again. I wrote "I do believe part of the 'no spanking' mentality is due ..." Notice I said "part". It means that it does not apply to everybody. Also if you re-read my message I have never stated spanking is a requirement. I have repeated it is an option and a last resort when necessary. Did you read that part?
Also "We are not raising brats, we just find other ways to deal with misbehavior." Why state this? I never said that if people do not spank will raise brats. To me it is a statement that may be an indicator you took at personal that was not need to be that way because I never made a personal assesment of you. Again, re-read what I stated above and I used the word "part". It seems you may have taken my statement personaly as I just wrote. That usually happens when people do not agree with others and take things as personal attacks when in this case I am talking about not spanking as part of something bigger. Just as I wrote that spanking can be done under the caring and loving environment it can work, not spanking under the improper environment can give the wrong signal to kids also.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
Nope, didn't take it personally. I've never felt the necessity to defend my position on spanking. I know there are many ways to raise a child, I simply don't see the value in inflicting pain.

You have a great day (and weekend) too
 
Old 05-01-2009, 02:38 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by colleeng47 View Post
Nope, didn't take it personally. I've never felt the necessity to defend my position on spanking. I know there are many ways to raise a child, I simply don't see the value in inflicting pain.

You have a great day (and weekend) too
Thanks for the reply. Thank God it is Friday!!

You also have a great weekend. Let us put the "fight" off for the weekend. LOL

El Amigo
 
Old 05-01-2009, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Baywood Park
1,634 posts, read 5,898,866 times
Reputation: 684
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
I do not agree it is the easy way out. In some instances it is by some parents but it is not an all inclusive situation.
We should never paint with a broad brush. Yes, I agree.

Spanking did not traumatize me, nor do I hate my parent's because of it. It was easy for them because they did not put much effort into parenting. I'm speaking from personal life experiences, from being a child, to having children, to observing family members with their children. Spanking has always been either; the bible says so, I'm angry and can't handle the situation,or I want this to stop and spanking ends it immediately. I can't tell you how manyy times I've stopped myself from spanking, because I was MAD. Never did I think I was going to teach them to be a better citizen. It was all out of anger. That's being lazy. How many times has a kid been spanked because the parents couldn't hear the T.V.? That's all Im saying.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 03:21 PM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
6,571 posts, read 17,949,017 times
Reputation: 5919
To the younger generation;

During WW11 and Korea...men were required to (police) clean the area around the barracks every day.

We were required to form a line and walk from point A to point B bending over and picking up anything that was small or miniscule to the eye leaving behind a clean area. Thus the term A-**** and Elbows.

Standing behind a bunch of guys you can get the picture. Saw many of those days during both wars.

Steve
 
Old 05-01-2009, 03:42 PM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Bagu View Post
To the younger generation;

During WW11 and Korea...men were required to (police) clean the area around the barracks every day.

We were required to form a line and walk from point A to point B bending over and picking up anything that was small or miniscule to the eye leaving behind a clean area. Thus the term A-**** and Elbows.

Standing behind a bunch of guys you can get the picture. Saw many of those days during both wars.

Steve
They were still doing that during the Cold War in the 1980s-1992.

I always got the impression that they hadn't changed many of their habits or sayings since WW2.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 03:58 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by CA central coast View Post
We should never paint with a broad brush. Yes, I agree.

Spanking did not traumatize me, nor do I hate my parent's because of it. It was easy for them because they did not put much effort into parenting. I'm speaking from personal life experiences, from being a child, to having children, to observing family members with their children. Spanking has always been either; the bible says so, I'm angry and can't handle the situation,or I want this to stop and spanking ends it immediately. I can't tell you how manyy times I've stopped myself from spanking, because I was MAD. Never did I think I was going to teach them to be a better citizen. It was all out of anger. That's being lazy. How many times has a kid been spanked because the parents couldn't hear the T.V.? That's all Im saying.
I agree with the examples you named. I just say that I never spanked them out of anger. I thought how the spanking was a disciplinary and learning tool and if I thought it had value I went ahead. That is why in my own experience as a parent for about 30 years I cannot count the number of times being more than five I guess.

I will share humorous discipline ocassion. It did not involve spanking. I had the two oldest daughters in front of me. I do not remember what they did. I made a stern voice, made a mad face and I was talking to them. I looked at their scared faces and I just could not take it anymore because inside I was not really mad as I made them think I was. I was just making a mad face. Well, suddenly I just busted and started laughing at how they looked at me. They just looked at each other so confused wondering what was going on because a second earlier I had the face of a monster. They started to laughed with me but with a confused face still, I just hugged them and we stayed hugged for a little bit. I then told them they did wrong and they said they knew they did.
To this day they say they remember that incident and tell me they realized I was not really mad after that incident. It did take away the efficiency of that tactic. It did not work much anymore to make an angry face.
Now, another instance similar to this was when I was the First Sergeant in Korea. It was after 9/11. It was a very stressful time I must say. We ended up we had long hours of guard duty 24/7. My Soldiers were stretched to the limit but we had no choice. They started to get a little lax on their duty after a while. One time they started to loose the bullets they signed for their shift.
One morning I had a formation, all 180 of them. I practically never curse. As in spanking I felt this was an ocassion to curse. When I used that first curse word, their eyes openned wide and their jaws just dropped. They could not believe I was cursing as I was addressing the security issue and the safety violations. It worked! They immediately got back into a serious mode of safety and security. I wanted to laugh so hard when I saw their faces like I did with my girls but I had to control myself. I knew they were tired but I could not allow them to go too far in getting too relaxed on their duty. It caused such an impression that for day it was the talk of the company "The First Sergeant cursed!" My supply sergeant was on leave when that happened. When she was back she heard the story. She went to my office and asked me if it was true because she did not want to believe what she heard. I said yes and that I was very mad. She said "Well First Sergeant, they said they are very scared to ever make you mad and they do not want to take a chance with you anymore so they will not mess up with their guard duty responsibilities". Of course when she left my office I laughed on my owne. Discipline was back to where it was supposed to be.

You have a great day
El Amigo
 
Old 05-01-2009, 04:01 PM
 
2,549 posts, read 2,329,385 times
Reputation: 898
I carry a taser and pepper spray on my belt. My children rarely, if ever, act up.
 
Old 05-01-2009, 04:11 PM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Floyd View Post
I carry a taser and pepper spray on my belt. My children rarely, if ever, act up.
Until they learn to use it on you and classmates
 
Old 05-01-2009, 04:12 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
They were still doing that during the Cold War in the 1980s-1992.

I always got the impression that they hadn't changed many of their habits or sayings since WW2.
As harsh as those times seem to be, I missed those days. Discipline was high in those days. Nowhere close is it today. Soldiers get so depressed to even hear someone raise a voice. They run to the chaplain or write their congressman on the cruelty they face for someone screaming around.

I think now they are learning the importance of that 'harsh' treatment as they are now facing the horrors of war and realize what we have been trying to teach them to prepare them for war.

I did receive calls from parents complaining how come we treat their sons and/or daughters so harshly. Well, I have my conscience clean because I know that hard discipline has kept a lot of them alive. Some NCOs do not care and push them hard and scream at them and curse them regardless of what others say. They are the ones that keep many more Soldiers alive. We are accountable to moms and dads for their sons and daughters lives. So when I received Soldiers that I could tell had not discipline they got a rude awakening. Some did say later that they wished mom or dad or both took the time to give them a good whipping. Many to this day keep in touch and call me. Some saw me as the older brother and in some cases like the dad that did take the time to teach them discipline. Some did tell me mom and dad never gave them some true tough discipline. To many of them I had to build their character and learn to take pressure and harsh disicpline. Some of what people may even deem cruel. However, many of them are still alive for that same reason. We did not baby sat them. They had to much of that at home. Now it is life and death.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top