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Old 09-09-2011, 06:55 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,231,004 times
Reputation: 14654

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOMdotCOM2011 View Post
Somebody, I can't give you more rep points, but if I could I would. It says I have to "spread it around" rofl. Just know I agree with you.
I don't understand the rep points. This is new to me. Care to explain?

 
Old 09-09-2011, 08:51 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,967,663 times
Reputation: 5475
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
You got THAT right! Anyone who gets on here, puffing up their chest saying, "Anyone who spanks their kid is a BULLY and a control freak and is not a good parent", has a whole lot to learn about life and people, in general. Anyone who knows me personally, would tell you what a great mom I am, what a loving mom I am. I couldn't count the people who've come to me and told me how much my kids love and respect me.

By the way, for people to make such ignorant assumptions about whether "spankers" have or have not read damn near every book out there on child rearing is simply that.....an ignorant assumption. Some of us are p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n-i-s-t-s. We want to do things excellently. Why? Because that's the way we're hardwired. For some of us, that includes wanting to be the best parents in the world. In order to do that, we've bought into the gimick of every book, bent the ears and gleaned every last bit of every information from every "good" parent we knew, etc.

Here' where the trouble starts though....every child is different. For people to jump on their soapbox and accuse parents who have spanked their kids, of being (basically), stupid, redneck bullies, shows just how ignorant some people can be. Yeah, I got my a$$ paddled. So friggin' what? Big deal! I also came away from home knowing how to cook, sew, run a house, grow my own food (including meat), put up all of that food (canning & freezing), BY the age of 17 years old! My parents did a fantastic job of raising an ADULT...a person who knew how to work for a living, knew how to treat others and how to be a critical thinker.

Here's the ironic thing about critical thinking...you don't need a book to tell you how to do everything. Funny thing about critical thinkers too...they don't believe or fall for everything they read or hear. If it sounds too good to be true...it probably is. Either you are one or you're not. For those telling everyone else how to parent THEIR own children....do a little bit of "critical thinking"...cuz you might be completely wrong.
Can't rep you BeachMel, but my sentiments exactly!

These spanking threads go on and on forever, and all it boils down to is everyone has their own idea on what is best for their children. But it should remain THEIR children, and not everybody else's. I'm sorry, but nobody is going to tell me how I should raise my child and what works best for disciplining her. I have lived with this child every single day of her life since the day she came out the womb, and I'm supposed to listen to a stranger who's knows nothing about me or her telling me what works and what doesn't with her? Not happening.

Unless something falls under the LEGAL definition of abuse, and not your own personal beliefs, you don't have to like it, you don't have to agree, but you probably should mind your own business. It's a shame that parents have to be afraid to swat their own child's behind in public for fear of a child abuse charge. It is infuriating to be in a store chastising your child and have a stranger butting in. And it is equally annoying to have people preaching at you about what a horrible, bad parent you are for spanking your child. Like I said, my child, my family, my decision.

I do think using a belt or any object is crossing the line, but that's just me. Other people use them, that's their choice, and as long as they're not injuring their child my opinion or anyone else's does not matter. I know plenty of people who were spanked with belts as a child and grew up healthy, normal, law abiding people. There is a difference between a parent out of control, taking their anger and frustrations out on a child, and a parent who is spanking out of love and the desire to teach their child right from wrong in whatever way works for that child.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 09:26 PM
 
Location: State of INSANITY
183 posts, read 208,089 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I don't understand the rep points. This is new to me. Care to explain?
Sure you "rep" someone when you rate their post positively, on the bottom of the screen.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 10:41 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,944,751 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
If you TEACH kids what is right, why it is right, how to solve problems, how to think for themselves, you don't need to instill fear in them.
Here is my simple reply to this:
B.S. This is all there is in the ideology you ruminate up there.
BS. Nothing else.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 10:45 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,944,751 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
If your parents were able to instill obedience in you without raising their hands, why couldn't you do the same? After all, they modeled good parental behavior, yet you don't seem able to exude authority with your own children. Why not?
Because I do not live in my parents' times and I do not have the life and the social environment that my parents had. My kids live in a child-oriented society. Your making that comparison demonstrates how you spectacularly failed to understand the argument I made. In addition, my son is genetically much more rebellious than I ever was.
Again, you go with the one-size-fits-all argument. It is lame.
Some children will need a forceful hand. Even more children will need a forceful hand in a child-oriented society.

Last edited by syracusa; 09-09-2011 at 11:10 PM..
 
Old 09-09-2011, 11:09 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,944,751 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I can't believe missed this. Kids EXIST TO PLEASE ADULTS? I am kinda horrified by this. Kids exist because parents make a certain kind of family. A family exists to promote loving, satisfying interpersonal relationships.

If we want someone to *please* us, maybe we should go back to slavery. I sure did not have my kids so they can please me. Yet somehow they are among the best behaved kids we know. Weird.
As horrified as your egalitarian sensibilities may be (hopefully no aneurysm occurred), a child trying to please his parents, to listen to them, learn from them and trying to make them proud is a normal and healthy part of family life. That's the position of a disciple. If you think the only things children should do are those they are driven to from within by their own precious little selves, you are just plain misguided and too recent in your outlook to understand much about humanity.

I don't think I would have ever gotten the grades I got in school and would have achieved what I ended up achieving had I not had the desire to please my parents and make them proud when I was a child. Had I only acted based on my own interior drive, I don't think I would have had much to write home about in adulthood.

Yes, your run-of-the-mill genius will be self-driven to become an amazing human. Most kids are not. For many it takes "wanting to please the parent" to get them there. It is what explains the difference in academic success and often character between Asian children and American children.

You are entitled to raising your children however you see fit. However, you may want to leave alone those of us who'd rather not raise children whose only God is their own precious SELF.

Last edited by syracusa; 09-09-2011 at 11:51 PM..
 
Old 09-09-2011, 11:19 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,369,507 times
Reputation: 8956
Slaves were beaten with whips . . .does that still appeal to the people who love corporal punishment of people smaller, weaker or in positions of no power?
 
Old 09-09-2011, 11:31 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,944,751 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by MOMdotCOM2011 View Post
...AM I in their business, hell no, I don't want to be, but the matter is, the State of Washington made me mandated reporter----- if I see or hear of abuse, and I will do just that, report it.
My dear vigilante, most parents will make sure you and whoever mandated you will neither be able to see nor hear whatever your well-worked-on mind perceives as "abuse". I can only imagine how good it must feel to basque in so much certainty and self-righteousness - but I am thinking you might just have to get your PC kicks elsewhere. For severe withdrawals, there's medication out there.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 11:46 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,944,751 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Unless something falls under the LEGAL definition of abuse, and not your own personal beliefs, you don't have to like it, you don't have to agree, but you probably should mind your own business.
Thank you for a truly effective post. This is the ONLY thing some people will understand, regardless of how many reasonable arguments you bring.
Trouble is the same zealots would give an arm and a leg just to be able to bring the law where they think it SHOULD be - in the name of some maniacal ideology they now have in their bloodstream.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 11:50 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,944,751 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Slaves were beaten with whips . . .does that still appeal to the people who love corporal punishment of people smaller, weaker or in positions of no power?
Because when a parent corrects a child by spanking, it is usually because they want to get some kicks out of seeing a "person without power" getting it!

How ill-willed, how shameless or how dim-witted.
Or how all three in one.
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