U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 04-28-2009, 05:01 PM
 
101 posts, read 484,019 times
Reputation: 91

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamsncharms View Post
i was beaten as a belt with a child by my mother regularly when i did not listen or i misbehaved, i have memories to this day of huddling in a corner trying to hide. i could not ever imagine doing that to my child. my mother even gave others permission to beat me too. my grand parents would let lose and have a go with the belt with me too if i did something wrong. these were her parents and i guess that is where she learned it from. throughout my life, the time i spent with her anyways.. the abuse went on and on clumps of my hair on the floor bloody lip black eyes and welts from the belt that were really awful looking so she would keep me home from school and claim i had the flu. its no wonder i grew up hating her guts really and became the "rebellious child" i spent most of my childhood years in placements and foster homes. i thought that i was taken away because i was a bad child. come to find out many many years later, when my sister's (who also got such lovely treatment from mom) psychiatrist petitioned records of the company that had the placement and foster care for us, that we ere in fact taken away. i had no idea. i thought i was such a horrible kid really.

anyways.. i could not ever imagine my child huddled in a corner screaming and begging not to be beaten.

there is no excuse as far as i am concerned for anyone to beat their children with a belt. raising kids is a tough job. it takes lots of love, understanding, time and patience, not abuse.


the above is my experience and my opinion.
Im sorry you were abused .That sounds like abuse because it left welts and bruises. However many parents still spank thier kids with belts,shoes, brooms whatever they can get thier hands on and they turn out fine. It depends on the child. Im just saying that taking away spankings totally is not the answer. Some kids need thier asses beat. My mom spanked the hell out of me. I would cower into a corner as well and even pull sheets comforters off the bed to protect my body which she would fling off. I think I deserved the spankings. My mom did cross the line though. She contuinued spanking me well into my teen years when I was just too damn grown to be getting beatings. I told my highschool's psychiatrist and I was taken away and put into a group home for like 2 weeks...Interesting experience .

My cousin years later said what I did was stupid and that she suffered REAL abuse and she wished she lived with my mother. I think my cousin definetly was abused .

Im black BTW and in the black community these things are much more common. Ive seen children get BEAT in public all the time .I was in the dr office last week and one of the parents told her daughter " You know I dont play I will slap your face and wear you out like you a grown woman " What was the reason for that statement? She was bickering with her sister. It wasnt even THAT bad and the girl was soooooooo embarassed.

I live in NYC btw and I was in the shelter system with my kiddos and alot of the women at the headquarters were very very angry and frusterated and the kids were suffering anytime they did anything they got very brutal beatings. I was flinching at some of them! No one even blinked an eye!

 
Old 04-28-2009, 05:08 PM
 
101 posts, read 484,019 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
Ever think these kids are so rude BECAUSE they are spanked? Again, LET ME BE CLEAR, I dont take sh*t from kids or ANYONE for that matter. Just cuz you dont hit your own flesh and blood does NOT mean that you put up with BS. There are many other ways to get a kid to behave. SORRY but you sound like an ass hitting an autistic kid. What is wrong with you??
There is nothing wrong with me . I just simply wont use autism as an excuse to act a fool. My daughter knows when we go out what behavior I expect. This is why I can take her out to eat ,the movies etc . Im not on a messageboard whining about how my autistic child cant behave and how I cant go anywhere...Nope we go EVERYWHERE. Also the bible says spare the rod spoil the child. She's 4 years old I understand that. I dont spank her for every little thing but she is also sneaky and she is mouthy and talks back and she's not running nothing in my house I am. I spank out of love
 
Old 04-28-2009, 05:11 PM
 
101 posts, read 484,019 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsySoul22 View Post
Most 'bad ass' kids are the result of POOR PARENTING.
I keep asking the question, do you want the schools to use physical force? I taught many a four year old (and younger) and did not put my hands on them.
I cant agree ...I know alot of good parents that dont spank and they have some rotten little kids on thier hands.
 
Old 04-28-2009, 05:13 PM
 
101 posts, read 484,019 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
This'll be the parent that posts on here in a few years wondering why her teenagers are such a-holes.
No you will be the parent posting asking why your kids are drug addicts and whores .
 
Old 04-28-2009, 05:23 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,282,457 times
Reputation: 4664
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniyasmommy View Post
I cant agree ...I know alot of good parents that dont spank and they have some rotten little kids on thier hands.
So, it's the spanking the makes the kids 'good' and 'well behaved??'
 
Old 04-28-2009, 06:07 PM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,598,380 times
Reputation: 589
Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsySoul22 View Post
So, it's the spanking the makes the kids 'good' and 'well behaved??'
Well no, she says she has to beat her kids all the time so obviously the beatings do not work or else they would be behaving better by now. One of her kids lies, which is probably a direct result of fear of beatings. Who wouldn't lie if they were about to be beat up if they gave the wrong answer.
 
Old 04-28-2009, 08:10 PM
 
833 posts, read 4,369,988 times
Reputation: 969
This thread has gotten out of hand.

All I can say is thank goodness I was born into the family I was born into. There are some out of control, angry, parents on this forum.

I am relieved to see that some people who were abused as children do not carry that legacy into their new families with their own children.

My gosh, people! Do you NOT educate yourselves on various parenting techniques? You just keep repeating, generation after generation, physical intimidation, spanking, abuse. Whatever you want to call it to justify your 'effective' parenting style. It really is scary, indeed.
 
Old 04-28-2009, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,191,291 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by summers19 View Post
My gosh, people! Do you NOT educate yourselves on various parenting techniques? You just keep repeating, generation after generation, physical intimidation, spanking, abuse.
Spanking gets repeated because it gets results. Your other "various parenting techniques", pardon me, suck. Or at least, they are no more guaranteed to yield results than a spanking. And spanking is not to be confused with "abuse" no matter how many times you repeat it. By the way, I have a CJ degree, and I've seen some actually abused children, so I don't need your two cents on that score.
 
Old 04-28-2009, 09:06 PM
 
833 posts, read 4,369,988 times
Reputation: 969
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Spanking gets repeated because it gets results. Your other "various parenting techniques", pardon me, suck. Or at least, they are no more guaranteed to yield results than a spanking. And spanking is not to be confused with "abuse" no matter how many times you repeat it. By the way, I have a CJ degree, and I've seen some actually abused children, so I don't need your two cents on that score.
Just because you have a college degree does not make you an informed and effective parent.

"So I don't need your two cents on that score". You are not the sole reader of this forum, sir. I will give my two cents on this forum regardless of who "djacques" is.
 
Old 04-28-2009, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,191,291 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by summers19 View Post
"So I don't need your two cents on that score". You are not the sole reader of this forum, sir. I will give my two cents on this forum regardless of who "djacques" is.
Feel free, but people who've seen or experienced real child abuse aren't impressed.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top