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Old 04-28-2009, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,893 posts, read 3,423,170 times
Reputation: 2325

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I love all the speculation and overblown opinions on this topic. Show me a study that details how a non-spanked child is less likely to be a criminal or that a spanked child is more apt to be an abuser. Ridiculous! People even comparing spanking - not child abuse, spanking - to the evils of slavery.

Spanking is a form of discipline if it works for you, great. If you feel strongly against it, great.

Why is this thread still open anyhow??

 
Old 04-28-2009, 10:00 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,302 posts, read 3,755,085 times
Reputation: 2524
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Lack of hitting does not equal lack of discipline. The root word of discipline is teach, not hit. I do not hit my kids, but they are disciplined.



The object of discipline is not to control children, but rather to teach them to control themselves. Sure you can control kids by hitting them, but what happens when the threat of being hit is not there? Do they learn self control?

I have teenagers now and they do not skip school, cause trouble, or have social problems and I do not hit them. It is much more difficult to discipline children without hitting them, but lack of hitting does not equal lack of discipline. Most parents who hit are taking the easiest path.
I see it differentlly. Spanking a child shows that there are consequences when rules are broken. It is simply shaping behavior on a child.
Spanking is not the only method and usually to me is the last resort when a child is reaching a level that needs a more direct control and behavior development.
It worked with you? Great and good for you but it worked with you does not mean it cannot be necessary for other children.
I never used an object to spank my children. I had three girls and in all my years of parenting I cannot count the times I spanked with the fingers of one hand.
It was not the easier path for me. It was the level necessary. It was also not the easier path because in the privacy of our bedroom I cried when I spanked them.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
 
Old 04-29-2009, 02:35 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniyasmommy View Post
No you will be the parent posting asking why your kids are drug addicts and whores .
Well young men don't mind being whores when that time comes and they don't take any more medications than they need to be able to think straight. Ratilin isn't addicting (none of them are actually). They aren't sitting there begging to have more. More often than not they forget about it and need to be reminded even though its clear its worn off.

Hitting a kid with that condition or getting in their faces doesn't do any good. They aren't able to totally think straight and their memory spans are very short. Your pissing in the wind thinking that spanking the kid will do any good in this scenario. The meds help them think straight and make everyone's lives around them easier, as well.

Autistic kids DO act like fools. Their mental maturity is proven to be slower developing than a "normal" child's. They can't help it or do anything about how their brain develops. They are in their own little worlds most of the time. Its annoying, awkward, frustrating, yes, but its part of their disability and is who they are regardless of what you want them to do or what physical things you do to them. In fact, that's making it worse and will hinder their ability and likely make them very introverted and unsocial adults.

If you can't control them, you may as well support them and help them thru this difficult time. They are never going to behave like "normal" non-autistic kids, so your the one that needs to adjust too, not just her. Yes, the kids need to learn how to behave civilly to an extent, but the parents need to be the mature ones and know how to accept them for who they are and accept their limitations.

If your children were physically disabled and couldn't walk as fast, would you be kicking their butts to make them walk normal like everyone else when its beyond their ability to do so? Its the same concept except this is a disability of the brain. She'll never be able to conform to what you want from her. It isn't possible. You want a normal 4 yr old kid and she isn't one. She's a disabled little girl, so treat her like a disabled little girl.

4 is pretty early for a child to be diagnosed with autism.
 
Old 04-29-2009, 02:37 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
I see it differentlly. Spanking a child shows that there are consequences when rules are broken. It is simply shaping behavior on a child.
Spanking is not the only method and usually to me is the last resort when a child is reaching a level that needs a more direct control and behavior development.
It worked with you? Great and good for you but it worked with you does not mean it cannot be necessary for other children.
I never used an object to spank my children. I had three girls and in all my years of parenting I cannot count the times I spanked with the fingers of one hand.
It was not the easier path for me. It was the level necessary. It was also not the easier path because in the privacy of our bedroom I cried when I spanked them.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
So its ok for a policeman or your boss at work to hit us when things don't go right and as a last resort using that logic? Why is it only okay to hit kids? Because they are little and defenseless against us larger people? I notice no one tries to hit their teenagers. Is it because they hit back and it hurts when they do it? Its easy to be a bully and use rationalization when your bigger and can overpower the person your doing it to.
 
Old 04-29-2009, 02:49 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by quelinda View Post
Well no, she says she has to beat her kids all the time so obviously the beatings do not work or else they would be behaving better by now. One of her kids lies, which is probably a direct result of fear of beatings. Who wouldn't lie if they were about to be beat up if they gave the wrong answer.
because they are cowardly bullies that won't know what to do once their kids grow to be their own size and can look them right in the eyes and dare them to attempt hitting them again.

You guys gotta remember these little people your so readily overpowering DO grow up. What then? If your going to attempt to hit a 17 year old boy, I'd suggest working out and working on your reflexes as you may get a fight on your hands when that boy turns on you. OR make sure your child is totally out of shape and never exercises so you may have a chance lol

Are these parents that spank and hit any better behaved because their parents did it to them? How do they see their parents? With geniune respect and love or respect borne out of fear? Spanking teaches them nothing.

If you think it does then your kids have outsmarted you into thinking it does. They just want you to stop hitting them and are telling you whatever you wanna hear or see to make sure you do stop. So you did teach them something...to lie to get yourself out of a potentially unpleasant situation.
 
Old 04-29-2009, 02:57 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Spanking gets repeated because it gets results. Your other "various parenting techniques", pardon me, suck. Or at least, they are no more guaranteed to yield results than a spanking. And spanking is not to be confused with "abuse" no matter how many times you repeat it. By the way, I have a CJ degree, and I've seen some actually abused children, so I don't need your two cents on that score.
Do you have kids, DJ? (I don't remember)

The other methods do work, btw. Every person reacts differently to various stimuli. No one method works for every person. If spanking works for you, fine, but that doesn't necessarily follow that it works for every one else. Each their own. No one is stupid because they don't mimic you.
 
Old 04-29-2009, 05:12 AM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,711,659 times
Reputation: 12046
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
I see it differentlly. Spanking a child shows that there are consequences when rules are broken. It is simply shaping behavior on a child.
Spanking is not the only method and usually to me is the last resort when a child is reaching a level that needs a more direct control and behavior development.
It worked with you? Great and good for you but it worked with you does not mean it cannot be necessary for other children.
I never used an object to spank my children. I had three girls and in all my years of parenting I cannot count the times I spanked with the fingers of one hand.
It was not the easier path for me. It was the level necessary. It was also not the easier path because in the privacy of our bedroom I cried when I spanked them.

You have a great day.
El Amigo
Spanking does show there are consequences, but there are usually better ways (IMO) of doing that. Again, lack of spanking does not equate to lack of discipline. The biggest problem with spanking is that it does nothing to connect the behavior you are trying to extinguish with the consequences of the behavior.

I concede that there are some situation where a swat on the bottom or a smack is appropriate. However, I think that parents who just resort to spanking right off the bat are taking the easy way out. After all, how much thought does it take for a large adult to hit a small child? It's much more difficult to think of punishments that actually have something to do with the child's transgression.
 
Old 04-29-2009, 05:33 AM
 
Location: Norwood, MN
1,828 posts, read 3,279,635 times
Reputation: 871
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
I am in my early 50s and remember the days when parents were not your friends but in many cases your worst nightmare. I remember parents of some of my friends were really scary and if you crossed them they would come at you hard.

One parent liked to use his belt on the kids and when they did wrong he had a system where they pulled down their pants and the belt was used to give them a real whooping. I can still remember the yells and screams of the kids as the belt hit their buts!

So, do parents use a belt anymore on their kids?
The main problem is about 80% of the people who have children in this country have no business doing so.
 
Old 04-29-2009, 11:10 AM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
6,571 posts, read 17,949,017 times
Reputation: 5919
Reading all of these posters and the opinions is one thing...regarding the number of children each poster has and the experience they had is another thing.

Unfortunatly when there are more then one or two...the spanking one receives is a deterrent to the others to toe the line.

I raised seven and had to use the switch and belt (VERY CAREFULLY) when they were young.

Today they are parents and grandparent (1) so they turned out real fine and I'm proud of them.

They never hated me but understood the reasoning and recall the experiences.

When I was in a military unit of 100 men...because of one person...99 were punished inorder to punish that one individual. Was that fair? Maybe! I did not think so at the time as did 98 others. We never found who the guity person was. A wallet was stolen and returned after the punishment.

Words sometimes work well and other times a kick in the rear is needed.

Steve
 
Old 04-29-2009, 11:29 AM
 
Location: i liv in a town, on the world..lol.. wat about evry1 else?? hehe
42 posts, read 70,818 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura707 View Post
Now day you go to jail for that. The kids have all the power now and everybody wonders what is wrong with the kids today. I use to work at a school and one mother told me her son use to tell her that if she didn't let him do what she wanted, he would call her and report her for child abuse and he was going wild, refusing to follow any rules.

Now they medicate them to get them to behave because they can't spank them anymore and everybody has a lable that needs medication.

I am not saying everybody needs to spank their kids. I had some that spanking is the only thing that worked and others that just a good scolding worked on. Spanking never harmed me, I have no after effects from it except that I knew I better behave and have respect!

my mom just a year ago stopped spanking the "if you don't quit... I'm going to spank you" thing but i think it worked better than "oh, now you're grounded" (even with being a teen that hasn't graduated)!!!

i will admit that getting spanked was one thing i absolutely hated but it worked!!

these days any kid (seems) walks all over their parents and HELLO, WAKE-UP PEOPLE, KIDS NEED DISCIPLINE... AND APPARENTLY WHAT PARENTS DO NOW IS NOT WORKING!!!!

i hope some kids of that do things wrong and get nothing for it (by their parents or the police), realize that this isn't the way to live and straighten out!!!

because other-wise this world is in some deep, deep trouble!!
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