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Old 04-28-2009, 08:20 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,242,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EEEPNJ View Post
How many of you out there are completely exhausted. I don't mean a little tired. I don't mean temporarily, I'm talking barely sleep anymore trying to keep it all together exhausted. And if you are, how is this effecting your parenting?
I joined a mom's support group. Two of them, actually. Best thing I've done for myself, my marriage & my children. With toddler boys running around & a dh who pulls in some serious work hours, there have been many moments & I was starting to feel beyond lost, fatigue & completely unappreciated. I also knew this wasn't fair to put on the dh but I was & that was taking a toll. The 1yr old throws his plate of spaghetti on the floor which goes everywhere & the 3yr old keeps repeating "Why did he do that?" "Can I have some ice cream?" I say (actually very loudly) "Stop talking!!!" And my 3yr old responds "Why?" "Why do I need to stop talking" "Mommy, I'm talking to you. Why do I need to stop talking" "Because I need quiet" And he says "Why?" And the 1yr old is still throwing the remaining noodles on the ground......

It doesn't "solve" the issues in the home, but it gives me an outlet & to be surrounded by women who are going through the same thing. It's therapy mixed with tons of laughing & great stories.

I'm also starting to get to bed earlier, eat better & drink more water. I stay away from email/facebook & watching rerun news that only makes me more anxious.

NO MATTER HOW BAD THE DAY, I NEVER put my children to bed without them knowing that I love them & that they are worthy & safe.

One thing I think a lot of moms don't get enough of is down time. Maybe see if you can get a few hours on the weekend or some time during the week that just allows you to get away...grocery shopping is my outlet right now

If things are going on & you recognize they are affecting parenting...you need to sit down with your dh or good friend or someone you trust & figure out what can be done to break the cycle.
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:10 PM
 
5,340 posts, read 12,344,123 times
Reputation: 1159
Yeah, motherhood is NOT for whimps is it?

I am overwhelmed for many reasons. DH's business fell apart with the economy, that left us in bad shape financially. Now he got a job with great pay - 2 hours away - each way. WITH very long hours. While I'm very happy he got that, I was not expecting to have everything put on my plate along with my FT job. Although - the time issue may be eliminated - I was laid off today. While it will be tougher financially, I will get unemployment and I will have some time to recoup.... I have a feeling finding another job will be harder, but I'm going to see what changes can be made so I can maybe work PT in the future, that may help.

Thanks for all your great advise and support!
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,140 posts, read 22,112,687 times
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Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Best of luck and hope it all works out for the best.
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:56 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,202,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EEEPNJ View Post
Yeah, motherhood is NOT for whimps is it?

I am overwhelmed for many reasons. DH's business fell apart with the economy, that left us in bad shape financially. Now he got a job with great pay - 2 hours away - each way. WITH very long hours. While I'm very happy he got that, I was not expecting to have everything put on my plate along with my FT job. Although - the time issue may be eliminated - I was laid off today. While it will be tougher financially, I will get unemployment and I will have some time to recoup.... I have a feeling finding another job will be harder, but I'm going to see what changes can be made so I can maybe work PT in the future, that may help.

Thanks for all your great advise and support!
No motherhood is not for whimps. But even the strongest of parents needs a little help and support every now and then.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation finacially. I know that, that can take it's toll on a lot of people. But just be thankful for what you have and don't worry so much about what you don't have. I know it sounds easier said than done, but it really does help if you can focus on the positives and less on the negatives.

Just don't let yourself get to far down, as it can be very hard to pull yourself back up. Get out and take some long walks with the kid/s. Go nature exploring and get some excercise, get plenty of rest and eat right. All of these things will help keep the chemicals in balance in your brain which will help you from feeling overwhelmed, stressed and most of all depressed.

I wish you all the best and I hope that your situation improves soon. You are not alone as I'm sure that many others are going through much of the same thing. In fact things are a little tight for comfort for us right now too, but we are hanging in there. We just have to stay positive, I know that is the only thing that helps me get through some days. When I start to worry and fret, that is when I become overwhelmed and exhausted and it doesn't help sometimes when you add kids to the mix of all of it. It's not so much that they themselves are exhausting, but the worrying about them and how we are going to be able to keep providing their needs is what wears me out. But again I try and stay positive and know that somehow we will manage.
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:09 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,589,416 times
Reputation: 3422
Quote:
Originally Posted by EEEPNJ View Post
Yeah, motherhood is NOT for whimps is it?

I am overwhelmed for many reasons. DH's business fell apart with the economy, that left us in bad shape financially. Now he got a job with great pay - 2 hours away - each way. WITH very long hours. While I'm very happy he got that, I was not expecting to have everything put on my plate along with my FT job. Although - the time issue may be eliminated - I was laid off today. While it will be tougher financially, I will get unemployment and I will have some time to recoup.... I have a feeling finding another job will be harder, but I'm going to see what changes can be made so I can maybe work PT in the future, that may help.

Thanks for all your great advise and support!
Here is something to think about.
We as women are often so busy being everything that we forget we are also flesh and bone. Look hard at what is going on while you are out of work, try really hard not to go back to work. Life threw me some issues two decades ago and when I lined it all up I found that the negatives to working full time just plain outweighed my career goal. I found that by watching two other children along with my own I actually made more money when you subtracted the day care I was paying, the second car, and other various expenses. Good luck, pray a little prayer that the heavenly father show you the way. Hang in there, good luck!
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:17 PM
 
3,191 posts, read 8,036,824 times
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Good luck OP
Some tough news for you...

hey there is a little bright side maybe you can rest up a little now, huh? Take some need time for YOURSELF before you tackle the coming days and remember to BREATHE!
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,556,197 times
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I dunno---I always thought being a dad was pretty easy.
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:58 PM
NCN
 
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,136 posts, read 21,129,613 times
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My son asked me one day when it will ever get better. I told him when you die. Being a parent is a lifetime job and it gets even harder sometimes when they marry and leave home. I do get more rest now though.

Have you ever noticed that most people have a time when they are the best parents. I really enjoyed my children's middle school years. It was a challenge, but they were so much fun to be around. I see some people that want to keep them babies. I couldn't wait until mine grew up. I am really not into helping children dress. I would rather discuss world affairs and ideas.

Now I see my grandchildren as part of me that will keep on living when I am no longer here. It is such a blessing to have grandchildren. Sometimes I feel sad for people that do not have grandchildren. And they always seem to love you even when you don't see them often. There is not much that they can do that I don't like.

I remember my great grandfather and my grandfather and the thing I liked most about them is that they seemed to always think I was special even when I didn't. They made me feel special.

Last edited by NCN; 04-29-2009 at 12:14 AM..
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:04 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN View Post
...Have you ever noticed that most people have a time when they are the best parents. I really enjoyed my children's middle school years. It was a challenge, but they were so much fun to be around. I see some people that want to keep them babies. I couldn't wait until mine grew up. I am really not into helping children dress. I would rather discuss world affairs and ideas...
YES! I have noticed it so far.

Right now its at a lull. It was fun to be around kids in those early elementary school years. They are silly, innocent, simple, adults can be goofy and they laugh and aren't pressured by society or peers. It was fun when my boys were 5-7 years old. Now they are just out of that stage in late elementary school and its kinda.. blah.

They are growing and out of the little kid stuff. Their disabilities make it hard on everyone and themselves and its a rough time right now. I hope to get that same feeling as you did in the Middle School years and be able to have a mature conversation about things with them. At this point there isn't much they talk about beyond video games, which holds a limited interest.
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Old 04-29-2009, 09:20 AM
 
Location: SD
896 posts, read 3,867,140 times
Reputation: 342
Every day I start off yelling. I try sooo hard to stop it (and my husband constantly chastises me for it) but just lose it. One of the reasons is that I am not a morning person. Another could be that I'm a little unorganized. A big reason is that I have four girls, ages 2,3,5,7 who wake up every morning and fight over who sits where, calling each other names, making fun of each other's clothes and just plain old bickering. They don't do it to be mean--they do it to annoy each other. I am right where everyone else is...but I am more mentally tired than physically. Unfortunately, I've had people telling me lately that I look tired so it must be manifesting itself. My husband tells me that I should take time for myself and we do have a babysitter regularly but I spend that time running errands (I don't relish food shopping with a red-headed, strong-willed 2 yo who screams that she wants out of the cart or grabs things off shelves or just wanders away from me in the store), running children to activities or just sitting in my car listening to music and just spacing out. Overall, I have really good kids but when I get bogged down in the details of everyday..I get so tired. I enjoy having my girls at this age. They are each at a fun and exciting stage but I don't feel that I fully get to enjoy it. I must be having a bad week. Hopefully, I'll get out of this funk and things will improve.
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