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Old 05-03-2009, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,256 posts, read 15,793,420 times
Reputation: 6600

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I talk to my mom pretty much all day every day. Right before I moved, I added her onto my cell phone plan and she's become a master texter so we'll text each other on a regular basis. We also email pretty often too especially when we're at work. We talk on the phone maybe three of four times a week, depending on what's going on.

Sometimes we'll call while we're watching television (Top Model or The Apprentice type of shows) during the commercial breaks and talk about the show, who should go home, I can't believe that tacky tramp said that, that was the ugliest picture ever, Tyra is getting on my nerves, etc. Other times I'll get a text about someone having an orgasm at the gym (inside joke about the grunting of weight lifters) or I'll send her random pictures of my son doing something silly or emails about Sears having a sale.

My boyfriend thinks I have an unnatural relationship with my mom (he talks to his maybe about once a month, usually after I call her and say "hey talk to your mom") but we've just always been close. She was my movie-going buddy, my shopping partner, my motherly advice giver, my hair dresser, food tester, art critic, baby-sitter, personal ATM, counselor, chauffeur, etc for many years and I don't see any reason to talk to her less just because I moved out. I was close to my grandmother too when she was alive.
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Old 10-07-2010, 07:43 AM
 
1 posts, read 4,319 times
Reputation: 15
Me and my fiance broke off our engagement because his mom and aunt felt that it was necessary for him to check in with them all day and every day. He lived at home, only until we married, and she wasn't happy about that, that is why she was excluded from wedding plans. So after 2 weeks of avoiding her, she got him to come home, after hitting him with a "I'm dying" story. He walks in and his grandparents are sitting there.. The whole week his GPs were here, his movements were monitored to make sure he wasn't talking to me. As soon as the GPs hit the plane, the mother and aunt, took his cell phone, car, and even hacked his FaceBook account, to show that they are in control. So at the end of the day, I had to end my relationship because a mother embedding in my fiance's head that it is absolutely necessary, as a child, that he checks in everyday and stays at home during the week. If he didn't then he was going to H3LL and he is a bad kid. Now mind you, my fiance is in his 20s.. Is something wrong with that?
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Old 10-07-2010, 04:00 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,110 posts, read 17,652,758 times
Reputation: 22464
my adult kids will call me once every two weeks which is totally fine with me and they also write letters which is okay or they will email me as well . they also have facebook and I do too and we all post pictures there is no reason not to stay in touch these days .I miss seing my grand kids every week though we had to move away grandpa got a transfer . So these days we dont see the grandkids every week which is hard on me really and I dont like it but seems we are getting another transfer in a yr to georgia . I cannot wait cause it is only 8 hrs drive from the grands and that will be a nice wknd trip lol .
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Old 10-07-2010, 05:52 PM
 
Location: grooving in the city
7,371 posts, read 5,682,556 times
Reputation: 23506
I talk to my parents about once a week, sometimes twice. My son and I chat about 1-2 times per week, or get together for a meal. If we need eachother, we get together more.
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Old 10-07-2010, 05:58 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 9,214,175 times
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My kids talk to me once every week or two. My daughter is good about sending short "hi" emails a couple times a week, and my son with text me "you doing okay mom" type texts every few days. I don't expect it all the time, that's for sure!
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Southern NC
1,917 posts, read 4,226,544 times
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My daughter and I are almost in constant contact in one way or another...calling, texting, IM-ing, emailing...lol. We're best friends.
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
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to single again at 26--you are better off to have ended it. He would have made a terrible husband and she would have made an even worse MIL.

My own mother used to greet me at the door with "How long can you stay" and no matter how long I did stay she left me at the door with "You never come to see me and when you do, you never stay".

She had all the signs of terrible depression which eventually became dementia. Maybe OP's mom can't remember when she last spoke to him. Don't think you have to be elderly to get dementia. A friend was diagnosed with alzheimers at 52 and died of it at 61.

Dementia usually starts with bad depression.
Hope this is not the case but look for the signs. Some moms just have a hard time doing what moms are supposed to do which is get their kid ready to leave the nest.
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:27 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,529,921 times
Reputation: 1916
My boys and I talk every day. We email, text and FB all the time too, but I like to hear their voices. And no, I am not one of those super controlling Moms who makes them feel guilty, I just like to hear the smiles in their voice. A lot of times it is just "Goodnight, Mom, love you. I love you too, sweetie" conversation, but that is fine too.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:58 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,722,338 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nitokenshi View Post
I call her when ever maybe once a month and when I do she cries because I do not call her every single day.
That's manipulation. You should call her when you want to - because she's your mother but she needs to accept your terms. Your mother needs to find a life.

I liked it when my widowed dad starte dating and got too busy to talk to me more than 5 minutes. As hard as it can be for parents when their children grow up and leave home, they have to let go and sometimes the kids have to help them with that.
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:03 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,722,338 times
Reputation: 22159
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlv311 View Post
Personally, I don't think there should be any expectation on when an adult son/daughter should call. You stay in touch out of respect, love and concern for your parent(s). If your mother is concerned about you, is she able to reach you by phone or email? It sounds that if she did either, you would respond. I don't think sending your sister over is appropriate. You are an adult now--staying in touch can be a two-way street. If the expectations feel a bit unreasonable to you, make sure that you don't have an unhealthy boundary with her.

I have an excellent relationship with my mother (always have--I feel very blessed). We don't live near each other and we stay in touch via cards, letters and phone calls. Every phone call and letter is a joy because it isn't in response to an expectation.
Exactly - it shouldn't be a "duty", it should be something more.
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