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Old 05-01-2009, 10:28 PM
 
Location: 60630
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post

On the flip side, my husband is from Memphis and there have been times there where we get the nasty looks while there, typically from other blacks.
It is funny you say that because I live in Memphis and I am white, and I noticing a lot of racial tension here in Memphis and I rarely see mixed couples, so i Can just imagine.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:29 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
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I'm sorry you and your daughter are having these experiences. Sad to think there needs to be "sides". Your daughter sounds beautiful.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaniaYuJieng View Post

I find it very disturbing that people continue to see "color" and not character.

It angers me as well, that my niece is teased constantly and tormented, because she's the complexion of Alek Wek, with hair to her back and eyes green as grass. As kind as she is. There must be a feeling of threat, for girls her age to feel "She believes, she is better than them".

It becomes aggravating, if you explain to someone your black, but because your hair is long or your eyes is light. They ask "No, what are you mixed with". (Just an example)

I think it's more so, something that can be expressed through personal experience.
You know...I do see people as character AND color. Maybe it's because I am a person of "color". I am fascinated by people's ethnicities and how it can translate into exotic physical combinations. My daughter is olive-skinned with dark hair and green/gray round, almond-tipped eyes. Her twin brother is very fair with light brown hair & brown, more Asian-like eyes. They look nothing alike so aside from the "are they yours?", we always get "They're TWINS?!?!?".

I guess I never realized that I might be offending someone by asking along the lines of "what are you mixed with?" (although I usually phrase it as "what is your ethnic heritage?").

I am sorry that your niece gets teased. Sounds like jealousy to me which you're going to find everywhere but it doesn't hurt any less.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I'm sorry you and your daughter are having these experiences. Sad to think there needs to be "sides". Your daughter sounds beautiful.
Thanks hun, but it isn't as bad for her for now. Just the simple, over hearing of comments, stares or the actual bold-faced ones that approach.

Eventually a strong back bone and shield will form to ignore it, but before that's done it has to be addressed.

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Old 05-01-2009, 10:47 PM
 
10 posts, read 44,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampaguita View Post
You know...I do see people as character AND color. Maybe it's because I am a person of "color". I am fascinated by people's ethnicities and how it can translate into exotic physical combinations. My daughter is olive-skinned with dark hair and green/gray round, almond-tipped eyes. Her twin brother is very fair with light brown hair & brown, more Asian-like eyes. They look nothing alike so aside from the "are they yours?", we always get "They're TWINS?!?!?".

I guess I never realized that I might be offending someone by asking along the lines of "what are you mixed with?" (although I usually phrase it as "what is your ethnic heritage?").

I am sorry that your niece gets teased. Sounds like jealousy to me which you're going to find everywhere but it doesn't hurt any less.
I too myself am fascinated by ethnic combinations. My parents are from the Caribbean Trinidad & Tobago. Which is primarily Indians & Blacks, but there's mixtures of Chinese, Syrians and Spanish. So I can understand first hand.

But don't apologize, lol. Asking that question of "What's your ethnic heritage" is fairly not offensive. It's just sometimes the tone and the way it's asked can be.

Example:

If the question is "What are you" and the person says "Black or African American" and it's followed by "No, What are you mixed with" or "Like, how come your so light" Then that can be perceived to be a tad bit offensive.

It can be followed with, blacks come in all shapes, colors and sizes or even we are all mixed with something...lol.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:55 PM
 
3,107 posts, read 8,035,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaniaYuJieng View Post
I too myself am fascinated by ethnic combinations. My parents are from the Caribbean Trinidad & Tobago. Which is primarily Indians & Blacks, but there's mixtures of Chinese, Syrians and Spanish. So I can understand first hand.

But don't apologize, lol. Asking that question of "What's your ethnic heritage" is fairly not offensive. It's just sometimes the tone and the way it's asked can be.

Example:

If the question is "What are you" and the person says "Black or African American" and it's followed by "No, What are you mixed with" or "Like, how come your so light" Then that can be perceived to be a tad bit offensive.

It can be followed with, blacks come in all shapes, colors and sizes or even we are all mixed with something...lol.
I hear ya. Like in my family's culture, being mixed is considered chic so I've always complained about the rest of us being chopped liver because our "mixing" occurred in the 1800s or earlier. The lighter your skin, the more beautiful you are. If your skin is darker, you'll often hear "Oh...she's beautiful even though she's dark." WTH? HATE that. It's ridiculous really but it can be especially hurtful to young, still impressionable girls & boys.
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Old 05-01-2009, 11:05 PM
 
10 posts, read 44,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampaguita View Post
I hear ya. Like in my family's culture, being mixed is considered chic so I've always complained about the rest of us being chopped liver because our "mixing" occurred in the 1800s or earlier. The lighter your skin, the more beautiful you are. If your skin is darker, you'll often hear "Oh...she's beautiful even though she's dark." WTH? HATE that. It's ridiculous really but it can be especially hurtful to young, still impressionable girls & boys.
Ugh, isn't that the worst?

Chopped liver lol.. oh no...
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Old 05-02-2009, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,957,184 times
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My sisters are adopted, and though they are both hispanic, one is considerably darker than the other. My parents are white. My one sister has had issues in school where kids would tease her for looking different from the rest of our family. I remember one time when she was quite young and one of her classmates asked her who "that lady" was. My sister replied that it was her mother, and the classmate said "that's not your mother - she's white and you're black". My sister was pretty upset about that and I think that was her first direct experience with such outside comments. As she got older, she had some issues with which crowd to hang out with in school because the kids tended to self-segregate and she didn't know which group she "belonged" with since she looked hispanic but "felt white".
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Old 05-02-2009, 11:22 AM
 
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First off, it's really no one's business.

However, it's not 'the norm' so you will get looks. Some people may be curious. Others, I am sure, are just damn rude.

I find in Vermont that some people do things just to be perceived as cool and or 'with it'. There are a lot of white parents with other race kids. It's like a badge of "woo look at how 'granola' we are, we have other race kids..' They want you to think they are awesome because they have 'biracial' or 'other race kids' because Vermont is 97% white...

A lot of these 'phony liberals' are from 'other liberal places' and come to Vermont to be praised for their 'coolness' and 'whatever...'

I hate posers...they just rub me the wrong way.

I'm from NY where everyone is mixed with anyone and no one really cares. However, if you live in WASP type area, and look a little different people either embrace it as 'progressive' or act like it's weird.
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Old 05-02-2009, 01:07 PM
 
3,084 posts, read 6,469,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaniaYuJieng View Post
I'm glad it's working out for you "hypocore" and I appreciate your input. Does your daughter, embrace both sides? Has she ever asked the question, what am I? Is she pressured to fit in with a group? How is that working out?
Neither my daughter nor my son really don't think much about it actually. They see plenty of other kids who have similar skin color and hair type, so it's just another difference with the blonde/brunette/redhead type thinking to them.

As far as the thinking goes...they are simply kids.
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