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Old 05-04-2009, 08:14 AM
 
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Not even speaking of 30 years ago.... Yesterday, there was a movie on TV "Baby's Day Out" made in 1994. No way there would even be a similar movie made now -- only 14 years later!! A 9-months old baby there crawled away and is crawling on a construction site. A bulldozer drives over the baby. The baby pulls himself onto a piece of metal thing that starts moving up into the air, to the higher floors (no railings, no boards). It was funny I guess 14 years ago.

I, too, don't believe there are more criminals on the streets than there were before (10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years ago). A massive shift in parenting has happened in the last 15 or so years. What are the reasons? Child protection? Bureaucratic tapes/rules?
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by expgc View Post
Good post!

My wife and I ate at a casual restaurant yesterday and we noticed a group of children eating at a table by themselves while their parents where at an adjacent table. These children ate their meals and when finished did not jump up and run around yelling and screaming in the restaurant as we see so many do. We complimented the parents on leaving about their well behaved children. So many parents allow their kids to run around a restaurant believing that it is a playground and the parents make excuses like; their just kids or they have ADD and we can't control them. BS. No, its lazy parenting in most cases. These parents were not uptight but obviously believed that children need to act appropriately when in public and have respect for others in their surroundings.

There is absolutely no reason why I, or anyone else, should have to put up with someone elses brats running around a restaurant like a group of wild animals. That's not why I'm there and they shouldn't be either.
Your right and ADHD is out of anyone's hands, tho If the kids get too out of hand, they should be removed from the area so they aren't being disruptive to everyone else tho. I have had to do that with my 2 ADHDs before. I don't let them run around being disruptive, though, That's unacceptable and I'll remove them. Nothing lazy about it, if the kid has mental problems, they just do and you do your best as a parent to roll with it and keep it under check as best as the kid is able to.
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
Not even speaking of 30 years ago.... Yesterday, there was a movie on TV "Baby's Day Out" made in 1994. No way there would even be a similar movie made now -- only 14 years later!! A 9-months old baby there crawled away and is crawling on a construction site. A bulldozer drives over the baby. The baby pulls himself onto a piece of metal thing that starts moving up into the air, to the higher floors (no railings, no boards). It was funny I guess 14 years ago.

I, too, don't believe there are more criminals on the streets than there were before (10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years ago). A massive shift in parenting has happened in the last 15 or so years. What are the reasons? Child protection? Bureaucratic tapes/rules?
I think there was a Tom & Jerry cartoon about that too and Tom kept getting the blame. It was suppose to be funny, circa 1967?
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:26 AM
 
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More kids are being diagnosed with learning disorders and disabilities. There is more out there to worry about now we have the information age and you can reading x million articles about 'local perverts' or 'crime' or whatever.

Parents have a lot of anxiety about raising kids and this is being transferred to the kids.

Kids today also have very little practical skills..As children we could tie our shoes and function. Now you have internet savvy children who can program the VCR/DVD/TIVO or whatever but they cannot put their shirts on right or remember how to brush their teeth!!
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GypsySoul22 View Post
More kids are being diagnosed with learning disorders and disabilities. There is more out there to worry about now we have the information age and you can reading x million articles about 'local perverts' or 'crime' or whatever.

Parents have a lot of anxiety about raising kids and this is being transferred to the kids.

Kids today also have very little practical skills..As children we could tie our shoes and function. Now you have internet savvy children who can program the VCR/DVD/TIVO or whatever but they cannot put their shirts on right or remember how to brush their teeth!!
To be fair alot of the shoes don't have laces Its one less thing to learn I spose.
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:39 AM
 
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This past Saturday at DS's soccer game, the coach thanked me for making DS listen to her. I told her that she was the coach, and was an authority figure that deserved respect. She said that she has a hard time b/c many kids don't listen and the parents don't correct them or make them listen.

I was amazed! We live in the same neighborhood as this woman, and when we see her my kids call her Miss ___, but at soccer, it's Coach ___. DS also has Aspergers, and can be very difficult...yet he's the one getting the praise!
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:46 AM
 
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Another thing that popped into my mind.... when I was a kid if, a neighbor three blocks over saw me doing something I shouldn't... she's spank me, send me home and my momma'd spank me again. Not a beating, but a few good swats on the behind. For the most part, I deserved every one I got.

Now-a-days, if you even verbally reprimand a child, you are risking having the law out to your house for "threatening a minor" For example: when you told them to get out of your garden or you'd spray them with a hose.

I, too, have a child who thinks differntly than most. He has ASD. While he can have a meltdown, we've taught him "time and place". This little phrase has helped us tremendously. He will go off in his little zone playing the games in his head.... DH or I simply say "time and place" and he knows that the local walmart is not the place to shoot aliens. When we are home.... fine.... shoot away. The thing is, parents need to be aware of their children.... to be prepared to counteract misbehavior... but they also need to allow their kids to fall and skin their knees, teach them to take a paper towel, wet it and place it on the owie. One day a child is going to be an adult. If that adult has never fallen, that adult will not know how to pick him/herself up and go forward.
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:10 AM
 
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Wish that worked for us so easily. My boys totally lack that amount of self-control to contain it for that long to go somewhere else. They just lose it. Time bombs.

I don't ever remember a stranger raising hand to me. I'd have likely grabbed a baseball bat and defended myself while high tailing it home.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
Another thing that popped into my mind.... when I was a kid if, a neighbor three blocks over saw me doing something I shouldn't... she's spank me, send me home and my momma'd spank me again. Not a beating, but a few good swats on the behind. For the most part, I deserved every one I got.

Now-a-days, if you even verbally reprimand a child, you are risking having the law out to your house for "threatening a minor" For example: when you told them to get out of your garden or you'd spray them with a hose.

I, too, have a child who thinks differntly than most. He has ASD. While he can have a meltdown, we've taught him "time and place". This little phrase has helped us tremendously. He will go off in his little zone playing the games in his head.... DH or I simply say "time and place" and he knows that the local walmart is not the place to shoot aliens. When we are home.... fine.... shoot away. The thing is, parents need to be aware of their children.... to be prepared to counteract misbehavior... but they also need to allow their kids to fall and skin their knees, teach them to take a paper towel, wet it and place it on the owie. One day a child is going to be an adult. If that adult has never fallen, that adult will not know how to pick him/herself up and go forward.
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by user_id View Post
Perhaps, its just the people I'm around. But it seems parents these days are rather uptight with their kids. Here I have in mind parents that were born in the 60's and 70's.

Almost all the parents I know, their kids are not allowed to do things that I was allowed to do at much earlier ages. Even my siblings who had a similar upbringing are rather strict with their kids.

But the strictness is not universal, in fact its almost reverse of how parents have been in past generations. For example, a 13 year old won't be allowed to walk to school, but they can be disrespectful brats at home.

Its really odd, it seems like people are raising very sheltered yet ill-mattered kids.
In those days, children were taught to respect all adults, not go run to mom and dad and have them tell the adult to not tell their kid what to do. Likewise, people were nearly coming to a stop at each corner to make sure that no kids were coming out into the street. There was a lot more respect, people looking out for each other kids, kids actually abiding by the rules and coming home by dark, ect. People don't get know their neighbors like they use to. There are more people crammed in on one block, and there are more ways to get into trouble, becoming increasingly easier for younger and younger children to access.

Now we live in a world where we can say "Not my kid," "Not my parent," and there is such an emphasis on the world revolving around each one of us individually that no one has regard to actually help make the world a safer place for everyone.

Where I live, my 7 year old asked me when she would be old enough to ride her bike on the road (we live in the country) and she was given, in unison, "Never," by both of us. That is because we have a mile of straight road and then a hill, which we live on the other side followed by another 1/2 mile of straight road. We are afraid to check the mail ourselves because we've been nearly taken out by people driving literally 100 miles or better with no regard to who or what might be on the other side of the hill. Back in that era, I recall my parents slowing down all the time and asked why (Cause it always took to long to get to my cousins or whereever we were going). My parents always knew their where the kids lived and they should always slow down "just in case." It just isn't like that these days.

Think about it, if a kid was screaming in a store, everyone made their way over to make sure the kid was ok, even if it was a supportive smile to the parent dealing with it. Now screaming is acceptable and no one moves a muscle. I always check and ask the kid if they are ok, to the glare of the parents...WHAT??...Doesn't anyone else teach their kids that screaming causes permenant hearing damage and damage to their vocal cords...and to ONLY scream when they are in danger?? Since I say a bloodied nose screaming 3 month old girl I nearly passed by without a look, I will ALWAYS check. If it was my kid, I sure would want someone passing by to make sure.

It's all the little things that add up to it. For us...Its the local registered child sex offender who snuck late at night into the Wal-mart isle to talk to our toddler girl while we were shopping a few feet down the isle for Christmas gifts (We chose to be out later because there would be less store traffic with more space to think and it would easier with our daughter...and didn't think this would even be a problem.) She's sitting toward the end of the isle. If she wouldn't have giggled at him, he could have have her gone in seconds. Or same walmart back 10 years...another child sex offender becomes the santa all the kids sit on and beg for toys...only to be ummm..."seen" by an employee before kicking the guy out. Or the guy who was sneaking in our yard to kidnap our daughter which our dog chased down, the meth dealers who chased us down our road in a high speed car chase...they ran their vehicle "routine" to only find out we were not the ones coming to buy the drugs so they chased us down to scare us, or the person who lured our dog away and shot her, or the "guy in the white shirt" who would follow me four blocks home after work everyday, or the two guys who chased me through the park, or the violent man dealing in the parking lot where I worked, or the woman after meeting me where I worked once seeked us out on the net and map questing our address, showed up in our yard and introduces herself as my "friend" to my husband (Couldn't have kids and after glimpsing a picture of how model beautiful they were could not hold back and HAD to meet them...and *picked* our son..talk about freaking out about what goes bump in the night.) Or the woman who ran into me with her car while I crossed a parking lot on the day after Thanksgiving because I couldn't move my pregnant a** off the ice fast enough for her, or the client who couldn't take no and waited in the parking lot for me after work, or the guy who was sexually assertive on the phone and came in to meet me thinking that somehow my face would match my voice on the phone...he wanted to take me "fishing" in his ice house with the full bar (I hid and finally snuck out) or the man who had to be escorted out of where I worked because he was about to punch me when I was a teen and following procedure, or the ex-con at my summer job as a teen who one day was a little too friendly and was...uh..."obvious" about his interest (he never came back after that day thanks to a another fatherly man named Ray) or the man who has stalked me online for at least 11 years (I actually personally knew this person and they're just like that), or the person (possibily the same one) would follow me home with their light off at night.

All within 10 years here, and this is not everything. I always believed people put themselves into positions where they could be targeted while others seemed to just attrack it. In some cases you might say these things about me but in most I am always particularly carefeul..even more so when I have things happen...who can't have pics of their kids at work...who has to check their rear view mirror to make sure no one is following them...who has to lie when in innocent conversation someone asks where you live or what your last name is. I live in what most would consider a "safe" town and area but my experience tells me to be vigilant and careful. It's a scary world and until I can find a place where I feel safe, I will do what I need to keep my kids safe, whether someone else calls it over protective or not.
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:27 AM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,239,863 times
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Originally Posted by GypsySoul22 View Post
More kids are being diagnosed with learning disorders and disabilities. There is more out there to worry about now we have the information age and you can reading x million articles about 'local perverts' or 'crime' or whatever.
And it is being proven that many of these children have nothing wrong with them other than parents who ran them up the doctors b/c the teacher said they don't sit still in class...

There are children who do indeed have learning challenges & children who are disabled. But, for the past several years, the second Johnny or Suzy starts to act wild, we throw on the ADD/ADHD title & cram Ritalin down their throats. All along, mom & dad do nothing but refill the prescription. I had a parent once who asked ME what the side effects of Ritalin were b/c her son had been on it for a few weeks (I was one of his teachers) & she didn't know b/c as she said "He still doesn't listen to me."

Mix that without being allowed to parent or discipline b/c it hurts the child's self esteem or makes them feel unworthy or they will rebel when they are 21...the list goes on....

In all honestly, most parents I know personally & associate with use common sense, moderation & try to balance the best they can. We all know that one parent or have that relative that allows their children to scream in the restuarant or throw toys when they are mad. And I am sure at one time, each of us has witnessed our children do something & we are appalled they even thought of it...the important thing is recognizing it & discussing it (age appropiate).

We all makes mistakes somewhere along the line when it comes to discplining or taking control of a situation that somehow the children got control over. It does happen to all parents one time or the other.

Just as we want our children to learn from their mistakes, we need to also learn from ours.

I'm not uptight, but I am strict, but my children have done things that I can't believe (my 3 1/2 yr old was outside playing & didn't want to come inside to go potty so he went by a tree...how or when he learned that I have no clue)...it's learning how to discriminate b/c the events that deserve a strong response & the ones that do not. That takes some work & in my world, that is what I am trying to focus on
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