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Old 05-14-2009, 09:15 PM
 
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Quote:
I was given loads of freedom - but even I, back in the 70's saw a few flashershad one man stopping his car and asking me and my best friend if we could get in his car and show him the way somewhere - we said NO!!! And other things have happened. So I know - even though I grew up in a village a really nice one, that bad things happen.
I'm impressed that you had such presence of mind during your youthful encounter with a suspicious person. What do you think prepared you to handle the situation so well?
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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Nor do I. So I empower my daughter and try very hard to make sure she can handle herself out in the world. Keeping her safe is different than keeping her protected to the point she is not prepared to stand on her own when she becomes an adult.

Why do you think you love your child more by overprotecting than I do by not overprotecting? I think it's a healthier love by preparing her for her future and not making her afraid of everything and everybody.
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Old 05-15-2009, 02:36 AM
 
Location: England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
I'm impressed that you had such presence of mind during your youthful encounter with a suspicious person. What do you think prepared you to handle the situation so well?

Well my friend was going to get into the car!!!!I was the one who said "Don't be daft...."and told the man NO!!! I see what you are saying...and I had liberal parents who let us have lots of freedom, BUT - these days, the man wouldn't ASK you to get into the car he would probably PUSH you in the car. So many children get grabbed, go missing, get run over, get knifed by some gang......am I being overcautious? Maybe, but I really, truly believe that we are living in an increasingly violent and disturbed world.

Ultimately, its up to every parent to decide how much freedom to give their child. I pray for my children every time they go out. But God gives us a brain to think.......think on.....should we really be taking chances with our children?! I am talking about 8 year olds I have seen cycling through town alone. 10 years old and wandering around by themselves. Totally stupid, IMO. Once they get older, yes, equip them with knowledge. But as a policeman once told me.....the age group that is most at danger of vioilent attack are???????? Young men, aged 16 - 30. NOT babies, children or women. So there will always be some danger...I accept that.

I love my children. I let them grow - I give them the space they need. But I have eyes in the back of my head. Just the way I like it.
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Old 05-15-2009, 08:47 AM
 
Location: GIlbert, AZ
3,022 posts, read 4,383,739 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy night View Post
I do not understand why over-protective parents think they are better parents because they over-protect. They do their children no favors, and they think they love their children more. HA
quite a few of the kids stolen are from their own bedrooms where their parents let them sleep with the window open--second floors dont help. Dont you think the parents of kids that were stolen out of their rooms at night, while everyone was asleep, and presumably didnt hear a THING, dont live the rest of their lives thinking: "Why, oh WHY did I let them sleep with their window open? I didn't even hear the pedophile putting the ladder up against the house."

And lets not forget the 8-year-old boy that went to the bathroom in the neighborhood park where-unbeknown to the aunt outside-there was a pedophile inside that raped and strangled him. And she didn't hear a thing.

Bad things happened when we were kids too it was just underreported. Does that mean we were safer? No--we just didnt hear about it. And we were LUCKY that it didn't happen to one of us. It was young Adam Walshs' death-through a shear fluke of circumstance-that prompts the alerts we have today. If a child wanders away from his parents at a store theres a store-wide alert for the employees to guard the doors, and check the store. I find that comforting.

Being unconcerned about your child is NOT being a better parent. Instead I wonder what is wrong with you.
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Old 05-15-2009, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Twin Cities
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I'd sure like to hear from one of the less protective parents and get a list or definition of what they believe over-protective means. Sure it may be different with each family or child, but obviously you have thoughts as to what is overprotective. I am a father of two children and will protect them however I need to. I've gotten in the face of a school principal for two kids harassing my daughter and told him he better talk to the parents because if I do it won't be pretty. Those kids don't talk to my daughter and leave her alone now.

Just last night at my daughter's softball game I would not allow my son to play on the playground where I could not see him. There was a lot of places he could play while still in sight. Is that over-protective? Or just good parenting.
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Old 05-15-2009, 10:49 AM
 
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I think everyone has their own definition of what good parenting is, some are on the right track and some are off base. We let our kids do some things that other parents would never allow, and by the same token, other parents let their kids do things that we would never allow. One style is not better than another just because it's the one we use.

I do think things are reported more these days than they were in the past and that scares people into thinking there is more to worry about. But there should be a healthy balance of worrying about what might happen and letting kids have some freedom.
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Old 05-15-2009, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Texas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoosier View Post

Just last night at my daughter's softball game I would not allow my son to play on the playground where I could not see him. There was a lot of places he could play while still in sight. Is that over-protective? Or just good parenting.
Well, Hoos, it's not overprotective in my book. We had a case a few years ago right here in Plano (which overall, is considered a VERY safe suburb, in fact, one of the safest suburbs in the area) in which a little girl was allowed to play at a nearby playground but out of sight of the parents while her brother was playing some type of sports event. She was 7, and she was abducted and found murdered.

Now I know that this type of thing is not frequent, but it does happen. I think parents have to walk a tight balance. I tried very hard not be overprotective with my son, but some things are just being reasonable and wise. I guess we all as parents, have to decide our own comfort level with things. Again, I do think that we can worry too much, and that's not healthy either. That said, we don't have to go so far the other direction that we're being careless with the most precious thing entrusted to us~ our children.
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Old 05-15-2009, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Denver
2,970 posts, read 6,154,941 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
Yes, I Agree - prepare them, but chucking them in headlong - for instance letting them ride all over town on the bus at 9 - is asking for trouble.
I was given loads of freedom - but even I, back in the 70's saw a few flashershad one man stopping his car and asking me and my best friend if we could get in his car and show him the way somewhere - we said NO!!! And other things have happened. So I know - even though I grew up in a village a really nice one, that bad things happen.

Things have changed. Drastically. Research. Look at the papers from just 10 years ago compared to today. The world has taken a slide down, so I think we need to be a bit more careful. My kids go out and play. They have freedom - TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. I want to see my kids grow up. I don't want to be greieving and weeping....

I think the part in bold is more a reflection of our awful media. Things just get more publicity now because bad news sells, good news doesn't.
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Old 05-15-2009, 12:53 PM
 
1,986 posts, read 3,469,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foreverking View Post
Being unconcerned about your child is NOT being a better parent. Instead I wonder what is wrong with you.
How dare you. I am NOT unconcerned at all. I wonder what's wrong with YOU that you would think kids shouldn't sleep in their own rooms with a wondow open in the heat.

Go ahead and keep your kids wrapped in cotton. When they reach adulthood, keep them home from having their own lives because you never know what might happen to them.

By the way,

How Dangerous Is Childhood (con’t) When a child goes missing
"... with 60,700,000 children 14 and under in the United States, the odds of your child being the victim of an Adam Walsh-style abduction are roughly 1 in a million.
You’d be wiser to cancel those horseback-riding lessons. Your child is more likely to be killed in an equestrian accident. (Odds in one year for people who ride horses: 1 in 297,000.) Or better yet, pull him off the football team. (Yearly odds of dying for youth football players: 1 in 78,260.) And if you really want to protect them, sell your car. (Lifetime odds of dying as a passenger: 1 in 228. Odds of dying this year alone: 1 in 17,625.)"

The chances are even slimmer a child would be abducted by a stranger when the statistics are fine tuned.

Last edited by stormy night; 05-15-2009 at 01:07 PM..
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Old 05-15-2009, 01:10 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,205,482 times
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Why don't everyone take a look at these crime rates and population size within the United States starting in 1960- 2007. Then you can all decide whether or not it is just as safe or safer today for our kids than it was when we were kids.
United States Crime Rates 1960 - 2007

Take notice that the population in 1960 was aprox. 179,323,175 and the violent crime rate alone was 288,460. Now, take a look at the aprox. population size in 2007 it was 301,621,157 and the violent crime rate alone was 1,408,337. The population size from 1960 -2007 is less than doubled but the violent crime rate alone has almost increased 5 times that.

I don't know about anyone else, but I would definately say that our kids are even less safe than what we were growing up. So regardless of what the person who wrote the article in the OP says, I am going to worry about my kids. I will teach them all that they need to know to keep themselves safe and prepared for the world around them, but I will be doing it while keeping them a little closer to my chest than what my parents did when I was growing up.
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