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Old 05-05-2009, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Oregon
1,532 posts, read 2,289,709 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
I am considered "overprotective" because I make sure that there is a parent home when my 16 year old goes to a friends house on a weekend night! No parent home, not allowed to go!

I would not consider that overprotective - I would do the same thing!

Speaking of overprotective, I used to have a friend whose Mom would rarely let her go outside to play in the summer, for fear she could get heatstroke............ we lived in Phoenix, Arizona!!! You can't keep her inside for 6 months out of the year!!!!
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Old 05-05-2009, 10:54 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez View Post
That's called being responsible - not overprotective! You're doing the right thing. There's too many negative outlets for teenagers these days, and IMO there are too many parents who give their children far too many choices.
I agree and make sure the its really the friend's parents and not some older sibling or buddy pretending. We used to do that as kids, too.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:16 AM
 
1,425 posts, read 3,521,622 times
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I am one who gives my teenager "too many choices". I also give him the responsibility that goes along with his choices. I do have rules (bedtime, grades, etc) but as for what he watches on TV or what activities he chooses.... unless it is porn or illegal, I let him be. He has lived up to my expectations most of the time... sometimes he gets lazy about his homework and I have to enforce the consequences, but those consequences are his choice too. He CHOOSE to goof off and not do himework, so he CHOOSE to loose his prized possesion until his grades improve.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Wethersfield, CT
1,268 posts, read 3,636,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
I am one who gives my teenager "too many choices". I also give him the responsibility that goes along with his choices. I do have rules (bedtime, grades, etc) but as for what he watches on TV or what activities he chooses.... unless it is porn or illegal, I let him be. He has lived up to my expectations most of the time... sometimes he gets lazy about his homework and I have to enforce the consequences, but those consequences are his choice too. He CHOOSE to goof off and not do himework, so he CHOOSE to loose his prized possesion until his grades improve.
There is nothing wrong with that at all!

Maybe I should have rephrased my post a little. You're giving your son guidance, which is healthy. I was referring to the parents who lack in everything you were referring to....
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:37 AM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,201,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
I am one who gives my teenager "too many choices". I also give him the responsibility that goes along with his choices. I do have rules (bedtime, grades, etc) but as for what he watches on TV or what activities he chooses.... unless it is porn or illegal, I let him be. He has lived up to my expectations most of the time... sometimes he gets lazy about his homework and I have to enforce the consequences, but those consequences are his choice too. He CHOOSE to goof off and not do himework, so he CHOOSE to loose his prized possesion until his grades improve.
It is different with a teen than it is with younger preteen kid. I was more protective of my older two when they were younger, but once they reached teendom I loosened up a bit. I still gave them guidance and protection, but they got more freedoms and choices as well. With every year that they got older and could prove to be trustworthy, sensible and responsible they got more and more freedom and choices. I currently have three kids that haven't reached teendom yet, but one will be a teen this year. So I am still pretty protective of them.
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:43 PM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,067 times
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I heard teens actually need parental guidance more than little kids do. Whether the teen realizes it or not. But it does make sense.
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Wethersfield, CT
1,268 posts, read 3,636,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
I heard teens actually need parental guidance more than little kids do. Whether the teen realizes it or not. But it does make sense.
Absolutely! As the parent of 2 teenagers, it gets very challenging. Sometimes I don't know what the next day will bring.

My children have 2 very different personalities. While my son is very laid back and athletic, my daughter is EXTREMELY outgoing. She has a wide variety of friends and it's so important to monitor who they choose to be around.
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:55 PM
 
5,945 posts, read 12,719,242 times
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We were at a birthday party, and the parents were all sitting around eating pizza and drinking - some beer, some soda- while the kids were in the enclosed space next to the dining room - a huge room with lots of play equipment, crawl-tubes, ball rooms, etc. I was sitting in a place where I could still look to the play room and see my kid (He was 4 at the time). There weren't any adults in the play room, and some of the older kids inthe play room were getting rough. No parents were stepping in to tell their kids to cool it. I was watching my kid really close and just about to go in there to have him come out and have a drink (I didn't want him to get beat up by the older rough kids, and he had been in there a long time and his face was all sweaty and red so I thought he could use some water, too) and this dad turns to me and says "Geez, turn down your mom meter!" Whether I was being overprotective or not, by others opinions, I really didn't care. But I was watching out for my kid. You gotta keep your eyes on your kids at all times, if possible, and that's what I was doing. That dad was sitting with his back to the kids, and I had to wonder if his kid was one of the rough ones bullying the other smaller kids.

My boys are older now, our oldest turns 14 this week, and they have been doing things like riding their bikes to school and spending more time at friends houses and having sleepovers and stuff for awhile now. They each have a very basic and inexpensive cell phone that has text messaging on them. (No picture messaging yet.) We keep in touch with texting or just calling each other. I have to meet their friends parents before they are allowed to go to that friends house, but that's about it. I just need to know where they are and who they are with, then they are free to enjoy their time.
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:58 PM
 
5,945 posts, read 12,719,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01 View Post
I heard teens actually need parental guidance more than little kids do. Whether the teen realizes it or not. But it does make sense.
I am finding this to be true. As my oldest son gets older... he seems to need more guidance as far as what behaviors are appropriate for different situations, how to handle girls, how to handle bullies, how not to be a bully, appropriate language, etc. There's a lot of stuff that they have to figure out, it seems, during these middle school years. I was at first considering going back to work when our youngest reached middle school, thinking that they would be more independent by that time... but we're seeing that they seem to need your presence there at that time as well. I'm not sure if I can say that they need you more, to me it just feels like they need you in a different way. Instead of making sure they learn not to run out into the street, you're helping them learn how to deal with emotions and behaviors and more grown-up situational things that come up, that is all new to them.
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Old 05-05-2009, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee, WI
603 posts, read 2,052,279 times
Reputation: 289
A ten year old going to a tanning salon???? Seriously??? That seems way too young. Can their little organs handle all that radiation?
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