U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-05-2009, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,256 posts, read 15,791,470 times
Reputation: 6600

Advertisements

I wouldn't mail them because I wouldn't want to spend the extra money on the stamps. I know that sounds awful but I'm being honest.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-05-2009, 10:25 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,202,322 times
Reputation: 1300
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleJ View Post
That won't work here. The schools don't give out the names of their parents, and of course I can't look it up under the kid's names.
Same here. There are a lot of kids I've tried to look up addresses for under their last name and can't find it, only later to find out their last name is different than their folks'. Or the other thing is we have a lot of kids who cross over from one school area to another and they have a common last name and you don't think about them living in a whole different school area so you have no idea which Smith or Jones you are looking for. Also a lot of people have gone to using cell phones and do not have a land line that can be looked up. About the only way I can get an address is if my kids can at least get a phone number if not an address for the kids they want to invite. But kids often become forgetful or preoccupied once they step on the school yard and don't remember to get the info.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Northern VA
3,872 posts, read 7,601,528 times
Reputation: 3125
Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I wouldn't mail them because I wouldn't want to spend the extra money on the stamps. I know that sounds awful but I'm being honest.
That doesn't sound awful. You're already spending $$ for the party, gifts, etc. Why spend more for postage when you don't have to?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2009, 04:43 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,266,516 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
This isn't just a problem with "moms". I think it transcends this generation. I hosted a ton of "socials" as a military wife. I had trouble with rsvps as well. In my leadership role for these young women, I constantly told them about the common courtesy of rsvping. And I mean constantly......yet, it still was a recurring problem.

RSVP people!
Yeah and Dads care less. j/k

I think like a couple other posters said, its a case of not knowing where to send invites. Why would I know 30 strangers' addresses?

What I may do is send the invites with my kids TO the class to take home with MY info on it or where the party is to be and just hope people show up or give us a call.

I once sent out 30 invited to a Kindergarten class for my son's 5th bday, got 5 rsvps but 20 kids shopwed up. I wasn't put out about it. I was just glad more than 5 kids showed up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2009, 07:31 AM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,202,322 times
Reputation: 1300
RSVPing to invites is a courteous thing to do. Either I or my child will call the invitor to let them know that my child will be coming or not. I often times will let my children call, so that they learn the responsibilty and polite thing of RSVPing so that they will hopefully continue to do so as they get older. If a parent of an invitor needs to talk to me directly after my child has called then my child will hnd me the phone so that the parent and I can talk.

It is frustrating when kids we invite don't RSVP to let us know that they are coming, But like I said in an earlier post most of the kids we invite to parties don't RSVP unless they are not coming. So in our case no news is good news.

The most frustrating though was when my oldest got married. She sent out invites to aprox. 150 people. She recieved RSVPs from aprox. 100 saying they would come. The other 50 either RSVPed saying they wouldn't be able to come or didn't bother RSVPing at all. So we gave a count to the caterer for the 100 that said they would be coming plus the number we did not hear back from. The day of her wedding comes and maybe 50-70 guests tops showed up to the actual ceremony. As to the reception though that is where the real problems occured. Here we had ordered enough food for around a 110 guests and some of the guests that came to the wedding didn't come to the reception at most 50 people came to the reception and the ones who ended up not coming to the reception had RSVPed that they would be coming. It was maddning to say the least, we had spent a lot of money on good food for X amount of people and less than half showed up. The sad thing was, some of the ones who showed up were ones we hadn't recieved an RSVP from. We had so much food left over even after folks took seconds that we sent home leftovers to the folks who helped with the wedding and gave the rest to the Homeless Shelter.

So even with RSVPing folks do not always follow through. The courteous thing for the folks who RSVPed saying they would come and then have plans change and then couldn't, would have been to call us ASAP to let us know that plans had changed and they wouldn't be able to come afterall, or they wouldn't have been able to make the reception. That way if we had even a couple days notice we could have changed the food order for a smaller amount.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2009, 02:07 PM
 
833 posts, read 4,370,639 times
Reputation: 969
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleJ View Post
That won't work here. The schools don't give out the names of their parents, and of course I can't look it up under the kid's names.
That is a bummer. At my son's school (a K-5 school) they have a parent directory that is updated annually. Most parents choose to be in it, but some don't. But it sure does make it easier for people to contact people. The ones I was not successful locating, I had to go through word of mouth, whitepages.com, and a whatever resource I could find.
But we didn't invite 30 people. We invited 12.
I think I would need a huge cocktail before hosting a party for 30 first graders.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2009, 04:04 PM
 
161 posts, read 484,459 times
Reputation: 247
Well, after only 2 responses by the date on the invite, I sent in another note saying we needed a head count for food and please reply yes or no (with an email and a phone number). Since that note went home yesterday I have heard from 10 more people! 8 yes and 2 no. I gave them until tomorrow to reply, so I may get more. So it seems like sending in the second invitation has worked--but I wish the first one had done the job as well.... (and I still have about 9 kids I haven't heard from, including two that told my 6yo they were coming--don't know if I can trust that or not!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2009, 11:40 AM
 
5,945 posts, read 12,721,568 times
Reputation: 6677
I'm from Texas, and people there seem to be more aware of things like RSVP and Thank You's and things like that.

Ever since moving to the West Coast - I don't think I've ever had a parent RSVP or received a Thank You from anyone except perhaps from a few of our kids teacher's over the years.

I agree... I think it has to do with the culture you're around, the norms of the neighborhood/immediate environment...

I RSVP, and I have my kids write Thank You's and I write Thank You's. I would rather set a good example regardless of what others around me are doing, rather than allow my kids to follow the norms here - which in our opinion are inconsiderate. Perhaps it's not rude if it's the accepted social norm here, but it's definitely inconsiderate considering that the person throwing the party needs a head count to help with the planning and expectations for the event.

We've discovered evites recently. People seem more inclined these days to respond via email, or to sign up and check a box to let the host know whether they will be attending or not. Saves stamps and paper, too!

Invitations, Free eCards and Party Planning Ideas from Evite
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2009, 11:44 AM
 
5,945 posts, read 12,721,568 times
Reputation: 6677
Quote:
Originally Posted by summers19 View Post
That is a bummer. At my son's school (a K-5 school) they have a parent directory that is updated annually. Most parents choose to be in it, but some don't. But it sure does make it easier for people to contact people. The ones I was not successful locating, I had to go through word of mouth, whitepages.com, and a whatever resource I could find.
But we didn't invite 30 people. We invited 12.
I think I would need a huge cocktail before hosting a party for 30 first graders.
We have a directory at our school, too. We include our phone numbers and email, but we choose not to include our home address for privacy reasons. It's totally up to the parents whether or not they want to be listed. I think these directories are great resources. They sell them for $5. each, and the profits go to directly the school. They are just printed out on regular paper and bound with one of those plastic binder things. Very easy to make, very affordable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2009, 11:50 AM
 
5,945 posts, read 12,721,568 times
Reputation: 6677
Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
RSVPing to invites is a courteous thing to do. Either I or my child will call the invitor to let them know that my child will be coming or not. I often times will let my children call, so that they learn the responsibilty and polite thing of RSVPing so that they will hopefully continue to do so as they get older. If a parent of an invitor needs to talk to me directly after my child has called then my child will hnd me the phone so that the parent and I can talk.

It is frustrating when kids we invite don't RSVP to let us know that they are coming, But like I said in an earlier post most of the kids we invite to parties don't RSVP unless they are not coming. So in our case no news is good news.

The most frustrating though was when my oldest got married. She sent out invites to aprox. 150 people. She recieved RSVPs from aprox. 100 saying they would come. The other 50 either RSVPed saying they wouldn't be able to come or didn't bother RSVPing at all. So we gave a count to the caterer for the 100 that said they would be coming plus the number we did not hear back from. The day of her wedding comes and maybe 50-70 guests tops showed up to the actual ceremony. As to the reception though that is where the real problems occured. Here we had ordered enough food for around a 110 guests and some of the guests that came to the wedding didn't come to the reception at most 50 people came to the reception and the ones who ended up not coming to the reception had RSVPed that they would be coming. It was maddning to say the least, we had spent a lot of money on good food for X amount of people and less than half showed up. The sad thing was, some of the ones who showed up were ones we hadn't recieved an RSVP from. We had so much food left over even after folks took seconds that we sent home leftovers to the folks who helped with the wedding and gave the rest to the Homeless Shelter.

So even with RSVPing folks do not always follow through. The courteous thing for the folks who RSVPed saying they would come and then have plans change and then couldn't, would have been to call us ASAP to let us know that plans had changed and they wouldn't be able to come afterall, or they wouldn't have been able to make the reception. That way if we had even a couple days notice we could have changed the food order for a smaller amount.
Oh my... what a headache! You know sometimes I think it would be fun if my husband and I had an actual wedding, but then I read things like this and I'm glad we have chosen not to. We are not traditional sort of people, and not religious at all, so it wasn't important to us to have a big ceremony when we were married. We just did the paperwork, and said our "I Do's" in front of a judge, and that was it, basically! We went out for lunch, and then we both had to get back to work later that day. We keep putting off our honeymoon, too! We keep saying "Next year..." Our latest, is saying "When the Harry Potter world opens in Florida - we'll go there for our honeymoon!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top