U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Easter!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-05-2009, 04:37 PM
 
Location: here
24,476 posts, read 28,773,973 times
Reputation: 31056

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Yes, thank you cards would have been the proper thing to do.
Your mother was right.
I agree. The friends took time out of their busy schedules to buy a gift, and show up for the shower. You could at least show your appreciation for that by taking 5 minutes to send a short note.

For kids, I think the parents should write them until the kids are big enough to do it them selves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-05-2009, 04:40 PM
 
Location: here
24,476 posts, read 28,773,973 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
That's pretty extreme to not consider a child to have good manners b/c they do not WRITE a thank you note. As stated by the poster, there are other ways of saying thank you...may not be the way YOU prefer, but it is still "thank you".

Has modern times (email & cell phones) taken away the personal touch? Probably. Does requiring a child to write a thank you note instill many things that a computer & phone cannot? Again, probably.

But to say a child lacks manners b/c they do not "write" a thank you note is a little absurd.

Not all children can write based on age or mental ability...so, to make it even more absurd, why isn't the appropriate age given of when a child should be able to hand write a thank you note?????

Is it ok that a child with severe cerebal palsy not WRITE a thank you note or is that ill-mannered?
I don't mean a 2 page letter, or something. I mean "Dear Aunt Jane, thank you so much for the baseball bat. I can't wait to use it at the park this summer. Thanks again! Love Jimmy" Until the kid is old enough to do it himself, the parent should write it. And, I don't fault the child, I fault the parent for not teaching them to do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 04:44 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,248,179 times
Reputation: 3177
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I don't mean a 2 page letter, or something. I mean "Dear Aunt Jane, thank you so much for the baseball bat. I can't wait to use it at the park this summer. Thanks again! Love Jimmy" Until the kid is old enough to do it himself, the parent should write it. And, I don't fault the child, I fault the parent for not teaching them to do it.
Again, your opinion to which you are very much entitled.

But to say a child has no manners b/c they did not WRITE a thank you note is absurd.

Personally, I think letter writing is a lost art. There is a lot to be said for handwritten notes.

But, I'm not sitting around waiting for a thank you in the mail for gifts we have given friends, relatives, etc & then resenting the parent & thinking they have ill mannered children if I don't receive it in the time allotment which I think is apropriate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 04:47 PM
 
Location: here
24,476 posts, read 28,773,973 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
Again, your opinion to which you are very much entitled.

But to say a child has no manners b/c they did not WRITE a thank you note is absurd.

Personally, I think letter writing is a lost art. There is a lot to be said for handwritten notes.

But, I'm not sitting around waiting for a thank you in the mail for gifts we have given friends, relatives, etc & then resenting the parent & thinking they have ill mannered children if I don't receive it in the time allotment which I think is apropriate.
Well, I'm not as bad as my mom. She calls me 2 weeks after a wedding wondering if I got a thank you note yet. I've had to remind her that people can take months (up to a year?) to send them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,145 posts, read 22,139,461 times
Reputation: 35604
I think Thank You notes are still nice. For some reason, I do think that there are certain occasions that call for a written note even after you've said thank you in person - weddings, graduations, showers (sorry bobbosgirl I agree with your mom on this one). I do think for most occasions, it is a good practice to write them. I always had my kids write thank you's for gifts received at birthday parties. For things like birthday or holiday gifts from family members a personal thank you or phone call is perfectly fine in my book.....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 09:01 PM
 
Location: coos bay oregon
2,096 posts, read 8,064,737 times
Reputation: 1273
If my kiddos receive a gift, they write a note thanking the person for it. Like a few other posters have mentioned, mine will write out "dear _____, Thank you for ______. I liked it because______. and some other personal touch. When they were too little to write it out, they drew pictures, which usually I would write my own little note with.
I think it shows good manners and a polite child to due this. That if someone else took the time to go pick out and purchase a gift, then its nice to let them know how it was appriciated.
My youngest had a HUGE birthday party a few years ago. Was set on having her class, her team, and other friends all there. As a one time deal and since it tied in w/something else, I went ahead and did this. We had almost 40kiddos there. And you betcha, she sat down and wrote a thank you to each and everyone. The ones who didnt bring a gift (as was requested) got "Thank you for coming and spending my special day with me" notes. it was the last time she wanted a party that big! lol
anyhow,I just think its the right thing to do to take that few moments to thank someone. I mean really, are we all so darn busy that this is something we cant take the time to do?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 09:11 PM
 
363 posts, read 1,003,668 times
Reputation: 292
Quote:
My mother held a baby shower for me two years ago since my boys are older and I was having a girl. Nothing too big. Everyone was "encouraged" to bring something if they wanted but it wasn't a registry or anything. My mother expected me to not only work 50 hours a week pregnant and with two children and a household to write thank you cards????
I have to vote for the mom on this one. If people take the time out of their day to attend a shower and bring a gift (regardless of if the invitation said to do so or not) than I think it is proper to send a thank you note. It really does not take long to write a note (does not need to more than a few lines) and it does show that you do care and appreciate the fact that someone took time to not only celebrate with you on your special day but went out of their way to bring you a baby gift.

As far as kids go...it is age appropriate. If the child can't write than a parent should write it and have the child draw or scribble a picture on the note. If the child can only sign their name...so be it. As the child grows, the notes can evolve with the child. These simple yet important manners will serve children well as they grow into adults and are faced with other issues like....for one example....thanking a potential employer after a job interview. Good manners may land them a good job.

How do people feel about the new fill in the blank thank you cards? The "Dear _________, Thank you for the ___________." I don't love them but will let it slide if a child fills them out...if the parent does..it is a cope out.

Manners are manners and this issue goes beyond just thank you notes. Good manners will do a lot for children and set them apart from their peers now and in the future. As far as children go....I can tell you...the other moms know who sends thank you notes and those that don't....people talk.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2009, 09:32 PM
 
12,931 posts, read 19,824,518 times
Reputation: 33984
I was brought up to write thank you notes, and I insist on having my sons do the same. It thrills their grandparents to receive them, and, that alone, makes it worthwhile.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2009, 05:33 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,268,636 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZugZub View Post
So your gifts aren't gifts then. A gift is something given with no strings attached, out of love. A personal phone call telling me thank you would be a lovely way of responding to a gift. Email is also just fine. They're all methods of appropriate communication. If a nice phone call or an email "don't count" to you, then you have weird issues with keeping up with the times.
I agree, esp in this modern age. Whats the difference how someone says thank you. Be happy they said it at all.

Attaching a guilt trip or expectation to a gift, makes the gift less appreciated honestly. In fact, people may not want gifts from you if they know they are going to feel obligated to kiss your feet everytime you do something nice for them that they didn't ask you to do. My 2c

My parents do that to me and everytime I get something, they always want some excited reaction or they get all disappointed and put a damper on the whole occasion, so I've just learned the art of acting overly thankful where they are concerned, whether I like the gift or not. And that honestly stinks. Makes them (and me) look like idiots.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2009, 05:38 AM
 
1,577 posts, read 3,268,636 times
Reputation: 530
But are the kids being nice are just doing it because Mom makes em do it and tells them exactly what to write? Once they leave home they (esp the boys) probably aren't giving it a thought unless Mom reminds them. As such they aren't "learning" anything if Mom has to remind them for 15 years until they leave home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top