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Old 05-07-2009, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Moon Over Palmettos
5,975 posts, read 17,161,886 times
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This is really sad. She was a NICU nurse! Horror of horrors! If this is how she behaved with a child not critically ill, I can just imagine what she would have done to a NICU baby. I'm hoping she never gets to practice nursing after serving her jail term.
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Old 05-07-2009, 02:14 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,249,888 times
Reputation: 3177
[quote=2girlsand2boys;8698392]

It is sad any time a child dies, but common sense would say that if you don't want to risk losing your child at the hands of their foster parent, do what you can to keep them out of foster care! Common sense, people!

Are you aware of why foster care exists? I don't think most children who were in foster care where put there b/c mom & dad were well-rounded, healthy adults living in a 4 bedroom house with a white picket fence & dog & thought "Hey, wanna try foster care?"....Cmon

Sad story. Very sad.
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Old 05-07-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 4,499,091 times
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The sad reality is that there are some kids who come into this world and they don't stand a chance. How many stories do we hear about moms leaving their babies with the boyfriend who ends up killing them? How many stupid moms out there leave their kids in a car in the middle of the summer? The list goes on.

Unfortunately, there is no requirement other than sperm-meet-egg to become a parent. Even then (in this case with a nurse), there are people who should not be around kids because they have no common sense.

Every time I hear a story like this my heart sinks a little. Then, I go and give my kids an extra big hug and tell them (for the 100th time that day) that I love them. I am not going to be a perfect parent but I am trying my best. Luckily for my kids, I've got common sense and a motherly instinct and am not stingy with my affections.

I think we as parents need to take a step back and just remember that if we do our job, we are going to be turning out a contributing member of society who will hopefully make the world a better place. There's a lot of pitfalls in parenting but it helps to remember that it's our job to try and make up for the morons who clearly aren't doing their jobs as parents.
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Old 05-07-2009, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Rocket City, U.S.A.
1,806 posts, read 4,998,519 times
Reputation: 843
Quote:
Unfortunately, there is no requirement other than sperm-meet-egg to become a parent. Even then (in this case with a nurse), there are people who should not be around kids because they have no common sense.

But there ARE requirements for fostering and adopting...
it varies by state, but no-one is just handed a child and cut loose. Well - that's how it's supposed to be, anyway...parenting classes, CE on post-institutional/attachment disorders and health issues, follow-up visits (home studies)...

I mean, nobody hands us a rulebook with the guide to good parenting, and all the advice in the world is useless when it doesn't work...but some sort of education is mandated before they place a child with a guardian. Been there, done that.

I am baffled by both of these stories, because these are Fosters both in professions that I would think could have aided them in dealing with the situation...one should have been fully aware of the damage done by the system, had counseling resources readily available to her and the other should have had, if nothing else, a smidgen of composure able to deal with the stress...and I am personally familiar with the stresses they had. I don't lay blame for not being able to continue Fostering, but instead of reacting impulsively they should have stepped back and called for help. Admit to the difficulty. STOP. Parents need time-outs, too.

The first day. Dead. Awful. Now I am disgusted, again.
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Old 05-07-2009, 03:19 PM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 7,823,394 times
Reputation: 1596
[quote=121804;8699643]
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2girlsand2boys View Post

It is sad any time a child dies, but common sense would say that if you don't want to risk losing your child at the hands of their foster parent, do what you can to keep them out of foster care! Common sense, people!

Are you aware of why foster care exists? I don't think most children who were in foster care where put there b/c mom & dad were well-rounded, healthy adults living in a 4 bedroom house with a white picket fence & dog & thought "Hey, wanna try foster care?"....Cmon

Sad story. Very sad.
I'm sure we all know why foster care exists. And you don't have to be two healthy adults in a 4 bedroom house with everything else to be a good parent. As much as I believe a child should have two parents who live with him/her, I know of many single parents who are doing a darn good job of raising their kids without the 4 bedroom house, etc.

As horrible as this "nurse" (I use the term loosely) behaved, we do have to remember that the original culprit is the mother who had the chilld taken away from her. She shares blame also. I don't understand why women who don't want kids, don't have a plan to raise them, and aren't willing to give up questionable lifestyles, don't give their children up for adoption when they're born. If Casey Anthony had done what she wanted to do, instead of being forced by her mother to keep Caylee, she would be a happy little girl somewhere right now with parents who considered themselves very lucky to have her.
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Old 05-07-2009, 03:26 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,249,888 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colleeng47 View Post

I'm sure we all know why foster care exists. And you don't have to be two healthy adults in a 4 bedroom house with everything else to be a good parent. As much as I believe a child should have two parents who live with him/her, I know of many single parents who are doing a darn good job of raising their kids without the 4 bedroom house, etc.

As horrible as this "nurse" (I use the term loosely) behaved, we do have to remember that the original culprit is the mother who had the chilld taken away from her. She shares blame also. I don't understand why women who don't want kids, don't have a plan to raise them, and aren't willing to give up questionable lifestyles, don't give their children up for adoption when they're born. If Casey Anthony had done what she wanted to do, instead of being forced by her mother to keep Caylee, she would be a happy little girl somewhere right now with parents who considered themselves very lucky to have her.
Most children who are in foster care are NOT there b/c their parents didn't want them.

Educate oneself on foster care & how it is run. Maybe even volunteer in a shelter or the system. It is eyeopening.

Blanket statements show lack of tolerance for other lifestyles & choices that differ from the average parent.

Throw the first stone. But watch the fall from the high horse of "I make all the right choices in my life" attitude.

What happened to this child is incredibly sad. But it happens every day in this country in single family homes, dual parent homes, foster care, and many other environments.

"Common sense" would tell a reader that this is a horrible story and yet another reason why the foster care system needs attention & overhaul..not "Well, they shouldn't have kids then!" That's plain ignorant.
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Old 05-07-2009, 03:33 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,249,888 times
Reputation: 3177
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33458 View Post
But there ARE requirements for fostering and adopting...
it varies by state, but no-one is just handed a child and cut loose. Well - that's how it's supposed to be, anyway...parenting classes, CE on post-institutional/attachment disorders and health issues, follow-up visits (home studies)...

I am baffled by both of these stories, because these are Fosters both in professions that I would think could have aided them in dealing with the situation...one should have been fully aware of the damage done by the system, had counseling resources readily available to her and the other should have had, if nothing else, a smidgen of composure able to deal with the stress....
There is currently new legislation being brought up at the federal level to require standardized mandated classes be provided to foster parents.

Many times, you will find that foster parents are in it for the $$ & this is another issue that is currently being addressed at the federal level.

The system is outdated, overworked, outnumbered (most want the blue eyed blond haired newborn...not the 12 yr old pregnant drug user) & abused. There is VERY VERY little offered in order to properly prepare foster parents for many of the situations they deal with when taking in a child. It's close to pathetic.

Unfortunately, the system is not perfect nor will it ever be.

Just a sad story that should have never happened but did.

Fostering requirements are a joke compared to adoption reqiurements.
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Old 05-07-2009, 03:44 PM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 7,823,394 times
Reputation: 1596
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
Most children who are in foster care are NOT there b/c their parents didn't want them.

Educate oneself on foster care & how it is run. Maybe even volunteer in a shelter or the system. It is eyeopening.

Blanket statements show lack of tolerance for other lifestyles & choices that differ from the average parent.

Throw the first stone. But watch the fall from the high horse of "I make all the right choices in my life" attitude.

What happened to this child is incredibly sad. But it happens every day in this country in single family homes, dual parent homes, foster care, and many other environments.

"Common sense" would tell a reader that this is a horrible story and yet another reason why the foster care system needs attention & overhaul..not "Well, they shouldn't have kids then!" That's plain ignorant.
Boy you sure mis-read my post! As far as "educate oneself on foster care", I have three adopted children, and I have been a foster parent. I am not throwing stones or on any horse I can fall from.

Get a grip.
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Old 05-07-2009, 04:30 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,206,054 times
Reputation: 1300
That poor, poor baby.

I hope this woman is charged with murder and gets the full sentence, preferably life without parole. Sadly she most likely will not be given the death penalty (which I think she deserves) being that what she did would most likely not fall under 1st degree murder as I doubt it was planned out. But her actions should still qualify her for second degree murder.

There is absolutely no excuse, stressed or not or tired or not, to do a such a thig to a living being. She knew her schedules and the hours she puts in for college and nursing. She should never have become a foster parent in the first place if having a baby around messing up her schedule or keeping her awake all night was going to be such a burden and problem. My guess is she needed the money for her collge education and that is all she was thinking about and not really thinking about being a saving grace for some child who has been in a bad situation. That poor baby went from bad to worse in a 24 hour period.

She doesn't just need the book thrown at her, she needs to be beaten with it. The other sad part about this whole thing is the mother of that baby will now be able to sue for her son's death, which she does not deserve one red cent because she is the reason he was placed in foster care in the first place. But I'm sure we all know she will sue and win and our already broke (as in monetarly depleted) system will be further drained.
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Old 05-07-2009, 09:37 PM
 
Location: Maine
650 posts, read 1,927,536 times
Reputation: 553
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
Most children who are in foster care are NOT there b/c their parents didn't want them.

Educate oneself on foster care & how it is run. Maybe even volunteer in a shelter or the system. It is eyeopening.

Blanket statements show lack of tolerance for other lifestyles & choices that differ from the average parent.

Throw the first stone. But watch the fall from the high horse of "I make all the right choices in my life" attitude.

What happened to this child is incredibly sad. But it happens every day in this country in single family homes, dual parent homes, foster care, and many other environments.

"Common sense" would tell a reader that this is a horrible story and yet another reason why the foster care system needs attention & overhaul..not "Well, they shouldn't have kids then!" That's plain ignorant.
What happened to this child WAS incredibly sad. The foster mother deserves whatever they do to her for killing a child!

BUT, IN THIS CASE, if the baby had been taken care of by his birth mother, who I believe lost him due to drug abuse, he would still be alive. The MOTHER made a choice that ultimately helped to kill her child. She is just as responsible, imho!
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